Page 15 of Tempting Harriet
But he caught her arm in a hold that she knew would only tighten if she struggled to get away. She stood still,looking ahead of her along the path.
“I only want you to know, Harriet,” he said, "what it is we would be beginning. A purely physical relationship tobe conducted in an absolutely clandestine manner. Wewould have to be quite sure that no breath of scandal couldattach itself to either of us—especially to you. Men are excused a certain number of wild oats. We would have tomeet during the afternoons for the express purpose of having sexual relations—in broad daylight. There would be nomore to it than that. I would continue my courtship withLady Phyllis Reeder. I will marry her this summer, havemy child in her this autumn. You would continue yourcourtship with Hardinge or with someone else.”
“Yes,” she said.
“There is no romance in such affairs,” he said. "No love.”
"No.” She swallowed.
“Only sexual gratification,” he said.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure it is what you want?” he asked. “Are you sure it would be enough for you? Are you sure your conscience will allow you to enjoy it?”
She was not sure of any of the three. She wanted to shake her head and put an end to the madness there and then. Shewanted to go home to Susan. Home to Bath. She wantedGodfrey.
“Is it whatyouwant?” she asked. “I thought it was. I thought that was what you brought me here to ask. Was Imistaken? Have I made an utter cake of myself? You saidat the beginning of this conversation that you wanted me.”
He looked at her for a long moment without saying anything. “It is what I want, Harriet,” he said. “It is what I have wanted for six years. But I do not want to hurt you. I havehad numerous mistresses, my dear, numerous affairs. Iknow what it is to begin them and I know what it is to endthem. It is not always either easy or painless. I would haveyou understand what it is you are agreeing to.”
“We both know when the end is to be,” she said. “There need be no awkwardness or pain when the time comes. Bythen I daresay we will both be glad to move on.” She wondered if he believed her words as little as she did.
“Very well, then,” he said. “We are agreed.”
There was the welling of panic. And terror. And excitement..
“Yes,” she said calmly.
He bent his head and kissed her openmouthed but lightly. He made no move to touch any part of her except hermouth.
“It is late today,” he said, his tone quite brusque and matter-of-fact. “I don’t think either of us would like to be rushed, especially our first time, would we?”
She swallowed.
“Tomorrow,” he said. “The same time as today? You must walk from the house. I shall be waiting for you at thecorner with a plain carriage.”
A carriage.
He must have read her thoughts. “I have a house,” he said. “We will go there.”
He had a house. Of course he would. She knew that he did not mean his home. That was the very last place hewould think of taking her. He had a house where he tookhis mistresses and his casual amours. An establishment hekept just for that purpose. It must be used often enough tojustify the expense of keeping it. But she did not want tothink about that. There was humiliation in the thought. Ahouse, after all, was better than a carriage.
“Come,” he said, “we have stood here long enough. It is a conveniently deserted and secluded path, is it not? I mustremember the fact for future reference.”
She smiled, but her lips felt stiff. She took his arm, felt its muscled hardness, and wondered what both arms wouldfeel like tomorrow holding her. She wondered whathewould feel like and turned her head sharply to try to focusboth her eyes and her mind on the bushes at either side ofthe path.
“Now, Harriet,” he said, “we must have a glimpse of this pagoda so that you may give me your opinion ofit. Then I shall give you mine at great length and by thattime we will have thought of other topics of conversationand be comfortable together again. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” she said. “But you speak of the pagoda with the utmost contempt in your voice. Is it so ugly?”
“I shall allow you to judge for yourself,” he said. “I would not dream of trying to form your opinions in advance.”
Unexpectedly, blessedly, they did find topics with which to fill the silence during the remainder of their time at Kewand during the drive home again. But of course, Harrietthought, he was an expert at dalliance. This situation wasnothing very novel for him. It was not a momentous occasion as it was for her. She was being foolish—a woman ofeight-and-twenty being so squeamish about beginning anaffair that had been mutually agreed upon.
When they arrived back at Sir Clive’s, he drew his horses to a halt and paused before jumping down to the pavement. He touched the back of her hand briefly, though he did nottake hold of it. It was possible that they were being observed from one of the surrounding houses.
“Harriet,” he said, “nothing is written in stone, you know. If you wish to change your mind, I shall not cut upnasty. If you do not appear at the street corner tomorrow afternoon, I shall not come storming into the house demanding an explanation. Until I join my body to yours, nothingis irreversible. Ah, the blush. It always fires my desire. Iwould think it artful if I did not know you better.”
