Page 13 of Tempting Harriet
That something more was what had kept him pacing and lying awake through most of the night. And the words hehad spoken to her afterward, words that were as unplannedas the embrace had been. He was to take her to Kew. Theywere to settle whatever it was that was between them.
There was only one way to settle it. No, perhaps two. He could tell her that he was leaving London. He could gohome and inform his grandmother that she must wait untilnext spring for him to choose a bride. Or perhaps he could arrange for a houseful of guests during the summer and invite a suitably eligible young lady and her family. Thoughhe hated the thought of conducting a courtship under the interested eyes of his mother and grandmother. And of making his intentions so obvious that he would be left with nochoice.
No, there was really only one way to settle what was between him and Harriet. He could not offer hercarte blancheas he had done six years ago. She was a virtuousand a respectable woman. She would refuse now as she hadrefused then. Besides, he did not want her as his mistress.There seemed something a little sordid about the idea. Hewanted her ...
There would be all hell to pay with his family, of course. Harriet was a lady, but her birth and background in no wayfitted her to be the wife of a Duke of Tenby. She had evenbeen forced to take genteel employment for a few years before making an advantageous marriage. Even the fact thatshe was a widow would tell against her. Only a virginwould do for his bride.
By the time he had shaved and dressed and exercised his horse with a gallop in the park, the Duke of Tenby had decided, that for once in his life he was going to be a rebel.Surely his choice of bride should be his own. Surely heshould be allowed to marry whom he would, provided hedid not bring into the family someone who would disgraceit. Harriet would hardly do that. And his mother and hisgrandmother would come to love her once they had met herand given themselves a little time to get to know her.
He was rationalizing, he knew. They would never approve his choice or his decision to marry for love. He picked at his breakfast, his decision made, though he wasgrim and uneasy with it. Unhappy even. He was going tomarry her. For once in his life he was going to put personalinclination before duty. At Kew that afternoon he wasgoing to make his offer. He was glad he had made the appointment for today. If he had made it for tomorrow or theday after, he might lose his nerve. He wanted it done. Hewanted the whole thing to be irrevocable. Then he wouldbe able to relax and enjoy loving her.
The clouds of the morning had moved off to give place to yet another lovely day. Harriet had certainly chosen theright spring to be in London, Sir Clive Forbes had said atluncheon. Sometimes it rained all through the Season andplunged everyone into the deepest of low spirits.
“Tenby again?” Lady Forbes said when Harriet excused herself to go to her room to prepare for the drive to Kew.“It is the general belief that he is beginning a seriouscourtship with Lady Phyllis Reeder.”
“I do believe he is,” Harriet said, smiling. “We are just old friends, Amanda. It is just an afternoon drive. It is several weeks since I drove with him last.”
“Just old friends,” Amanda said. “I always distrust those words, dear. But I am sure you are right. You have been outwith many young men since the Season began, with severalof them more than once. There is no reason for me to beworried just because Tenby shows occasional interest inyou, is there? You will enjoy Kew. Be sure to see thebotanical gardens. They are not to be missed.”
Harriet smiled again and made her escape. She felt dreadfully guilty, although she could see no reason why sheshould. That kiss—though kiss seemed a woefully inadequate word to describe their embrace—had hurt no one.She was a mature adult, not a green girl. They were goingfor a drive this afternoon to settle things between them. Sheknew very well what that meant, of course, and she hadmade up her mind what she was going to do. She felt quitecalm about her decision. She was certainly not going to lether narrow upbringing gnaw at her conscience. If she didnot say yes this time, she would regret it for the rest of herlife, she knew.
She was going to say yes. She was going to become his mistress. Just for a short while. Just long enough to satisfyher curiosity and her craving. During the summer he wouldbe marrying someone else, and she knew that she wouldnot be able to continue the liaison once that had happened.But perhaps by the summer she would have settled for oneof her own suitors—Mr. Hardinge, perhaps. His interest inher was leading him toward a declaration, she was sure, andshe both liked and respected him. Of course, she might findthat she could not in all conscience accept him when thecourtship had been taking place during her affair with another man. She did not know yet just how badly her conscience would bother her.
But she was not going to change her mind. She was going to say yes. She watched the street from the windowof her bedchamber after she was ready until she saw hiscurricle approaching. He was two or three minutes early.Her heart and her stomach performed painful somersaults,and she drew back from the window lest he should see thatshe was watching for him. She waited with heavily beatingheart to be summoned downstairs.
All the way to Kew they conversed on a variety of general topics, including the weather, just as if the night before had never happened and they were just two friendly acquaintances taking a drive together. Since Harriet had mentioned the botanical gardens, they viewed them first ontheir arrival, admiring and commenting on every plant theysaw until almost an hour had passed.
Perhaps, Harriet thought eventually, there had been nothing as significant about the evening before as she had thought. Perhaps he had meant nothing more than that theyshould take a drive together again. Perhaps in her naiveteshe had read into the incident far more than had been thereand had given herself a sleepless night for nothing.
“The pagoda,” he said when they emerged from the botanical gardens. “It is obligatory to see it, Harriet,when one is at Kew. And to stroll the lawns and view allthe trees and flowers. Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Yes, your grace,” she said.
“Are you?” He was looking at her, and she knew that his question heralded a change in the afternoon. Gone was therelaxed friendliness. There was a breathless tension in itsplace.
“You must consider that your courtship of Lady Phyllis is proceeding at a satisfactory pace,” she said. She wasafraid to bring on the moment. She wanted to hold it at bay.Almost as if there was still time to change her decision. Asshe supposed there was.
“Must I?” he said.
“It certainly seems to be the general opinion that a betrothal is imminent,” she said.
“Sometimes,” he said, “one could wish that thetonwould allow its members to conduct their own courtships.”
“Your grandmother must be pleased,” she said. “Is she?”
“I believe,” he said, “she is already planning the weddingbreakfast. And dusting off the christening robes that bothmy father and I wore for use again within the year. Is it indelicate to mention such a thing to you?”
She smiled. “It is obvious,” she said, “that if she is anxious to see you married, her real eagerness is to see an heir born.”
“Sometimes,” he said, “one wonders if the idea of marriage has been debased so much that it has no other function to serve. There is very little consideration given to the lifelong contentment of the husband or the wife, for example. Do you think perhaps people have gone wrong somewhere, Harriet?”
“Perhaps people of your rank,” she said. “The same does not apply to most people. Godfrey and I married for ourmutual happiness.”
“Did you?” he said. “He was not obsessed with the need to get his heir on you even though he was an older manwith a title and I believe a fortune to leave behind him?”
“No,” she said. “I think he had made the decision as ayoung man not to marry or secure his succession. Marryingme was an afterthought, so to speak. He never spoke of anheir. In that sense I suppose I was fortunate. I knew that Iwas being married for myself.”
“Ah, yes,” he said. “That would be something. When one is a duke, with title, property, and fortune, one wonders ifany woman can see beyond them to the man himself.”
