Page 30 of A Rogue's Downfall
“It was such a warm day,” she said with a winning smile just as if she owed her maid an explanation, “andthe water looked so inviting, Letty.”
“Hmm,” Letty said with a sniff. “If you was withhim,mum, then enough said.”
Caroline gathered thathewas not very high in Letty’s favor.
Cynthia arrived in her room when she was toweling her hair dry after her bath. Caroline was very thankfulher sister-in-law had not come half an hour earlier.
“Caroline,” she said, “is it all now settled, then? Are you betrothed? This is all so very sudden that it is hardto digest. He is very handsome, and I do see how youwere tempted. But oh, love, I do hope your rash behavior will not lead you to unhappiness.”
Caroline could not bear to have her sister-in-law think badly of her. “The only rash thing I did was lie toRoyston,” she said. “I thought he was going to challenge Lord Lyndon to a duel, Cynthia, and you knowas well as I do who would have won.”
“You did not invite him to your room?” Cynthia asked.
“Of course not,” Caroline said scornfully. “He mistook my room for someone else’s. Lady Plumtree’s I would not doubt.” The thought hurt.
Cynthia looked dismayed. “You lied to Roy,” she said, “when he was sending the man away, Caroline?He had ordered him to leave within the hour.”
“Oh, dear,” Caroline said.
“And you are now betrothed?” her sister-in-law said.
Caroline set her towel down and picked up a brush. If she said no, she would be unable to spend the evening with Alistair. Or tomorrow morning. She couldreturn to her usual wise, sensible self merely by speaking the word. It would be dangerous not to say no.Very dangerous. But there was an evening and a morning she could have if she lied. Or avoided telling thetruth.
“I am to give him my answer tomorrow morning,” she said. “He has kindly given me a little time sincewe did not know each other at all, Cynthia.” Oh, itwas an outright lie. First Royston and now Cynthia.She never told lies.
“Think wisely,” Cynthia said, her hand on the doorknob. “Perhaps you were compromised, Caroline, but no one need know it but us and I cannot see that anyuseful purpose will be served by forcing you to spendthe rest of your life with that man, handsome andcharming as he undoubtedly is.” She smiled suddenly.“Why are rakes so nearly irresistible?”
“They probably would not be rakes if they were not,” Caroline said. “No woman would oblige them andallow them to build the reputation.”
Cynthia laughed. “I am sure you are right,” she said. “A load has been lifted from my shoulders. May I tellRoy the truth?”
“After tomorrow morning,” Caroline said and stared at the closed door after Cynthia had left.
She should have taken the way out that had just been presented to her, she thought. She should not have prolonged matters. For she knew now that she was goingto get hurt. Dreadfully hurt. She had been in love withhim for months—in love with his looks and his reputation. And then for a brief spell this morning she hadfallen out of love with him, having perceived him as aselfish and conceited man. Now—well, now she lovedhim. She had seen warmth and gaiety and charm andtenderness and even conscience in him. He was nolonger the handsome rake to be sighed over in secret.He was a person now, someone she had talked withand laughed with and built a sand castle with and swumwith. Someone with whom she had known the beginnings of passion.
Someone with whom she would have made love on an open beach without benefit of clergy if he had notexercised unexpected restraint. Someone she still wanteddespite the cold ducking in the sea.
What was she going to say tomorrow morning? She was going to lie, that was what. She was going to behave with the utmost dishonor. But then she was nota man. Men had a different notion of honor fromwomen. If she admitted the truth tomorrow morning,he would probably feel obliged to marry her after all.She could not bear to be married to him. Every daywould be an agony.
She could have avoided it all if she had told the truth to Cynthia and then gone and told it to Royston. Shecould have avoided the misery of tomorrow morning.And replaced it with the misery of now. There was tobe no winning this battle. Caroline sighed and brushedharder in order to dry her wet hair in time for dinner.He was going to take her in to dinner. He had said so.She would have him to converse with all through themeal.
No, she was not sorry she had told a lie. An evening and a morning were better than nothing.
Eugenia gave her a wounded look as if Caroline had stolen the viscount away from her. Irene and all theother cousins looked at her with interest—and someenvy on the part of the girls. Lady Plumtree pointedlyand with haughty disdain did not look at her at all.Caroline did not care about any of it.
“Did you escape notice after we parted at the top of the stairs?” she asked the viscount when they wereseated at the dinner table.
“Escape?” he said, raising his eyebrows and looking at her sidelong with very blue eyes. “You are joking,of course. After my valet had taken one glance at thestate of my boots and clothes, I believe he would havebent me beneath his arm and given me a good wallopingas my father used to do, if only he had been a foottaller and I had been a foot shorter. How about you?”
“Similar treatment from Letty,” she said.
“The amazon who attacked me last night?” he said. “My sympathies, Caroline. I would guess she is quitelarge enough to take you over her knee even now for athorough spanking. A dreadful breed, personal servants, are they not? One lives in fear and trembling oftheir wrath.”
Caroline laughed and won for herself a puzzled frown from her brother and a sniff from Lady Plumtree.
“There is to be dancing in the drawing room afterward,” the viscount said. “Special request of Colin, bless his heart. It is to be in the nature of a practicefor the grand ball in two nights’ time for the old lady’sbirthday. Will she dance, by the way?”
“Great-Aunt Sabrina?” Caroline said. “Oh, assuredly. She will expect every male member of the family tolead her out.”
