Page 125 of Holiday Friend Zones
He steps aside slowly, like it physically hurts him.I drag my suitcase across the floor, pausing only to glance at the Christmas tree.“Your moose ornament is on the front branch.It deserved to be there.”
“You’re scared.That’s why you’re running,” he says hoarsely.
I laugh through the ache in my chest.“And you’re one to talk?Montana, anyone?Either way—you got what you wanted.You don’t have to deal with long goodbyes.You get to run, just like always.”
I shove my boots on, tug my coat tight, and slam the door behind me, the sound echoing in the cold night.
NINE
Tell Her Early
Eli
The slam of the door rattles the cabin walls.For a second, I stand there, staring at the space she left behind, like maybe if I wait long enough, she’ll storm back in and tell me I’m an idiot and she’s not going anywhere.But the silence settles.Heavy.Crushing.She’s gone.
And the thing is… I didn’t even mean it.Not really.Yeah, the decorations are a lot.Yeah, she’s a lot.But that’s the point.That’s Lauren.She takes ordinary things and makes them bigger, brighter, impossible to ignore.Somewhere between her alphabetized bins and her color-coded tabs, I fell in love with the way she fills up every room.
And now she thinks I don’t want her.
I glance at the tree, at the moose ornament she hung front and center, even though it throws off the balance.My throat tightens.She didn’t just decorate this place—she made it a home.Something I haven’t had in years.
I sink onto the couch, elbows on my knees, and thread my fingers through my hair.Fuck.I should’ve told her about Montana earlier.The application.Everything.But how do you look your best friend in the eye—after the best night of your life—and say, “Oh, by the way, I might be gone next month”?You don’t.You fumble.You hide.And now she thinks that’s all I wanted.A fling before skipping town.The thought makes bile rise in my throat.I don’t give a damn about Montana or decorations.The only thing I care about isher.She should be curled up next to me as we laugh while she tries to steal my pudding.Or me kissing her as an assault of peppermint candles wafts around us, telling her how amazing she is.
I’ve always lived my life on the quieter side.But now that Lauren’s gone, I hate the quiet.I applied for the job after I broke up with Julie, not thinking I’d get it.Lauren’s right.I’m a runner by habit.I pack up and go when things get complicated.But running isn’t the answer.She keeps me steady in ways I never thought I needed.I should’ve chased her the second the door slammed.Instead, I let fear hand me an excuse to hurt her.
Outside, tires crunch on the packed snow.My delusional heart thinks maybe it’s her.I fling the door open, but it’s not.A delivery driver hands me a box and offers a polite grin before disappearing into his truck.My stomach does another flop.It’s the present I bought for her: a planner I wanted to give her for Christmas.I toss it onto the counter.I fucked that up.
Needing sleep to clear my head, I stride into my bedroom, the dim light from the Christmas tree guiding me.As soon as I lay down, her scent envelops me.Vanilla and honey.I groan.This isn’t going to work.I give up and crash on the couch because every inch of the bed reminds me of her.
The next morning, my eyes are bloodshot from staring at the ceiling the entire night, sleep evading me.All I could think about was Lauren.What I should have done differently.What I should have said.No more what ifs.My mind is already made up.Quickly, I throw on some clothes and head to the Holly Jolly Festival to find Lauren.Once parked, I barrel down the paths, weaving past vendors and shoppers, and find Brie on duty outside Santa’s Workshop.
“Brie,” I pant.“Have you seen Lauren?”
“I have.In fact, she stayed at my house last night.”She studies my face for a beat before her tone softens.“But I don’t know if she wants to see you.”
“I don’t care.I need to talk to her.It’s important,” I plead.
“She’s by the cookie stand.”Brie gives me a look that’s half warning.“And Eli?Don’t take any more pieces of her heart.She only has so many.”
I nod.“I know.I want to put them back together.”I sprint to the cookie stand and yell, “Lo!Lauren!”
She steps through the open door.Her hair cascades over her shoulders, her cheeks flushed from the cold.She’s simply stunning.“Eli?”
“Lo.”My voice breaks.I stop two feet away, and everything I planned to say unravels into a single confession.“I shouldn’t have let you go last night.I screwed up.”
“You think?”She crosses her arms and nails me with that look that’s equal parts hurt and fury.“You didn’t tell me about Montana.You made me feel like I was too much.Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard that from men?”
My chest cracks wide open.“I didn’t mean it like that.You’re not too much, Lauren.You’re… everything.And I didn’t tell you about Montana because the second you moved in, the second you lit up that cabin with your decorations and your peppermint candles and your bins—god, the bins—I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere.Not without you.”
Her eyes flicker, softening, but her chin stays stubborn.“Then why didn’t you say that?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
The corner of her mouth twitches like she wants to smile, but she clamps it down.
I step closer, and my voice drops.“That night wasn’t a one-night stand for me.It was… the best night of my life.And waking up with you, holding you, was the first time my house has ever been a home.You’re not too much, Lauren.You’re exactly enough.”I swallow hard.“You’re right.I was running away.But not from you.I thought I wanted a change, and leaving seemed like the most logical thing to do.But that wasn’t the change I was looking for.The change is you.”
“I’ve been here the whole time.”
