Page 63 of Todd
She’s safe, he reminded himself for the hundredth time in the past six hours.Dr. Selinski is in federal custody, the spa is now a crime investigative scene, and she’s getting the medical care she needs.
But logic couldn’t override the bone-deep need to maintain visual contact with the woman he loved, who’d nearly died. The horror of his last mission with the Marines flooded his mind, making his palms sweat and heart pound as he held Sadie’s hand.
They’d landed in Phoenix in the wee hours of the morning, and the day had been spent with no privacy as their time was divided between medical personnel and law enforcement. Cole, Sisco, and Cory had been at the hospital, checking on Sadie,sitting with her during Todd's interview, and serving as the liaison with LSIMT and the FBI.
Sadie’s color was already improving after hours of IV fluids designed to help flush Dr. Selinski’s experimental compounds from her system, but the doctors wanted to monitor her for another day before allowing her to fly home. They were concerned about lasting mental fogginess. The specialist who’d come in was running blood panels and said that she would need to be followed when she got back home.
An extra day in Phoenix.The thought should have frustrated him, since they both wanted to go back to Montana—to the compound that represented safety, family, and everything good about their chosen life. Instead, he felt grateful for the additional time, the opportunity to finally have the conversation that should have happened the morning after their first night together.
Melinda’s reunion with her editor was a tearful combination of relief and professional triumph. The story she would write would expose not just Dr. Selinski’s operation but the entire network of luxury facilities that preyed on wealthy, isolated women. Her courage in seeking help from Sadie had ultimately saved both their lives. She had already been interviewed by the FBI and would be released the next day.
Todd’s FBI interviews had been exhaustive but professional, federal agents documenting every detail of their infiltration and the evidence they’d gathered. The agent in charge had already been in contact with Logan, as well as the bureau’s lead investigator who Landon had consulted. Todd had answered questions with precision but hated to watch Sadie struggle against the lingering effects of pharmaceuticals that were still working their way out of her system.
Now, as evening approached and the hospital settled into its overnight shifts, Todd finally had the time alone with Sadie he’d been craving for days.
“You should go to the hotel,” Sadie said, her voice stronger than it had been since their escape. “Get some real sleep instead of trying to rest in that torture device they call a chair.”
Todd’s response was immediate and nonnegotiable. “I’m not leaving you.”
The simple declaration hung between them, carrying weight that went far beyond concern for her medical condition. He’d spent so long pretending that he could be satisfied with friendship and teamwork when what he really wanted was her trust, her heart, and her presence in his life as something far more than a colleague.
“Todd—”
“That morning when you walked out of Logan’s office, I thought we needed to protect ourselves from workplace complications.” His words poured out. “Both of us. I’d seen women in the service, forced to endure the taunts of others, when affairs were outed.”
Her dark eyes held his gaze with the intensity that had first captivated him in a Montana bar, but now he could see deeper emotions stirring beneath the surface. He saw hurt but also hope, which gave him courage.
“What a crock of shit,” he continued, his voice roughening with self-recrimination. “I realized too late that I should have believed in the caliber of person Logan was hiring as Keepers. My effort to protect both of us was really just me protecting myself from having to be brave enough to fight for what I wanted.”
“Todd, you’ve already apologized for that,” Sadie said gently, her hand finding his where it rested on the hospital bed’s rails.“We’ve moved past it, found our way to being friends and teammates?—”
“But that’s not enough anymore,” he said, his fingers intertwining with hers like they’d been designed to fit together. “Yes, I apologized for handling the situation badly, but I never told you what I should have said from the beginning. I never told you how I really felt… what that night meant to me… what you mean to me.”
The admission settled between them like a bridge across the chasm his fear had created. For so long, he’d been too much of a coward to cross that bridge, too terrified of vulnerability to risk his heart on the possibility that she might feel the same way.
“I can’t believe I wasted so much time,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “All this time of pretending that being in the same room with you was enough, that I could be satisfied with a professional partnership when what I really wanted was everything.”
Sadie’s breath hitched, her hand tightening on his as emotions played across her features. “Todd...”
“You were beautiful that night,” he continued, his free hand reaching up to trace the curve of her cheek. “Hell, you’re beautiful every day, but that night in the bar, you were so alive in a way that made me forget every careful boundary I’d ever constructed around my heart.”
The memory of their first meeting flooded back—her laughter echoing across the bar, the way she’d made even onion rings seem like an adventure, the natural ease with which they’d connected despite being strangers. He’d been drawn to her like a moth to a flame, helpless against the magnetic pull of her spirit.
“We may have been drinking, but I knew exactly what I was doing when we went back to your hotel room.” His voice grew stronger with each word. “I knew I was taking a chance on something that could change my life.”
Her eyes searched his face with the analytical intensity that made her such a formidable operative, but underneath the assessment, he could see the woman who’d held him with such tenderness, who’d made him believe that love was possible even for someone who’d spent his entire adult life maintaining emotional distance.
“I told you that being the oldest of three kids meant I was always the responsible one.” His thumb brushed across her knuckles in gentle circles. “Always thinking three steps ahead, always anticipating problems and positioning myself to handle the fallout. I never took chances, never allowed myself the luxury of spontaneity or risk.”
The pattern followed him into the military, where his reputation for reliability made him the go-to choice for command positions. While other Marines celebrated shore leave with wild abandon, Todd remained sober and watchful, ensuring his teammates returned to base safely. Responsibility had become his identity and caution his defining characteristic.
“But that night with you, I wanted to take a chance,” he continued, his voice dropping to the intimate register reserved for confessions. “I wanted to be someone who could reach for what he wanted instead of always calculating the risks. You made me want to be brave.”
The irony was devastating—he’d been brave enough to risk his life in combat operations, brave enough to leave military security for the uncertain world of private contracting, but he’d been too much of a coward to fight for the one thing that could make his personal life complete.
“And now?” Sadie asked, her voice carrying the careful neutrality of someone afraid to hope for too much.
“Now I want to be with you,” he said, the words carrying absolute conviction despite the vulnerability they exposed. “Not as colleagues who pretend there’s nothing between us, andnot as friends who carefully avoid discussing what we both remember from that perfect night. I want to be with you as the woman I’ve been falling more in love with every single day since I met you.”
