Page 22 of Todd
He headed into his bunkhouse room to get dressed. He looked around the space and snorted at having stayed there for so long. His original plan was to stay in the bunkhouse, save money for a down payment, and then buy a small place. But Sadie had stayed, never moving into an apartment or buying a house. He’d never asked her why, but it didn’t matter. He liked being near her even if he wasn’twithher. Being able to snag those moments in her presence made each day more special, even if it also made them torturous.
He sat on the edge of his bed, his mind going back once more.
Logan had asked him to be available for interviews that day. He’d agreed readily, planning to wrap up his responsibilities early so he could drive back to town and find Sadie.
When Logan had opened his office door and called out, “Todd, this is Sadie. Would you give her the full tour?” Todd’s entire world had tilted.
There she was. The woman who’d filled his thoughts since he’d first seen her, less than twenty-four hours ago. The one who’d captured his interest and imagination. The woman he’d planned to ask out, hoping to have the time to get to know her more.
And she was his new colleague. His teammate. His…damn!
The panic had hit like an avalanche, burying rational thought under layers of military conditioning and professional paranoia. No fraternization.Don’t add to workplace complications.
They’d just met and slept together. What would Logan think? What would the team think? The idea that their interaction the day before could put their careers and reputations at risk nearly choked him. How could they possibly navigate a relationship under the scrutiny of their colleagues? If it didn’t work out, would everyone take sides? Would it interfere with missions and assignments?
The questions had crashed over him in seconds, each one feeding his growing anxiety until he could barely think straight. And at that moment of crisis, his mouth had opened, and the worst possible words had spilled out.“Jesus, last night was such a fucking mistake.”
The memory of how her expression had morphed from bright-eyed surprise to a gut-punched look still had the power to bring him to his knees over a year later. He’d watched her transform from the open, laughing woman he’d held in his arms to a stranger who looked at him like he was something distasteful she’d scraped off her shoe.
Everything that had followed had been damage control, clumsy attempts to explain what he’d really meant while digging himself deeper into a hole of his own making. She’d become defensive and rightfully so, and his fumbling words had only made things worse.
By the time he’d managed to corner her weeks later, to attempt an apology, the moment had passed. She’d accepted his explanation with cool professionalism, but the trust was gone. The connection was severed. His own cowardice and stupidity had cut off the possibility of something beautiful.
And now, a year and a half later, they were still living in the bunkhouse, working together daily, sharing meals and conversation with others, while a vast chasm remained between them.
Sighing, he scrubbed his hand over his face and stood. He wandered to the kitchen, where Cory and Casper were already preparing a dinner of spaghetti with garlic toast and a premade salad. Simple, satisfying food that reminded him of family dinners back home. They worked together with easy efficiency, the kind of comfortable routine that had developed over months of shared living.
After they ate, all three men migrated to the front porch, settling into the weathered chairs with their boots propped on the railing and cold beers in their hands. The sunset painted the sky in shades of gold and crimson, the mountains standing against the horizon.
This was Todd’s favorite time of day, when the compound settled into peaceful quiet and the vast Montana sky reminded him how small his problems really were. Casper was comfortable with silence, a trait Todd had come to appreciate more and more as the months passed.
Cory, on the other hand, had never met a comfortable silence he couldn’t fill with chatter. “It’s strange not having Sadie around.”
Todd’s grip tightened on his beer bottle, but he managed a noncommittal nod. He had no plans to discuss Sadie’s spa vacation, when he wished it could have been a trip they’d planned together.
“But she deserved the rest,” Cory continued, oblivious to Todd’s internal warning signals. “Hopefully she’s having a good time there.”
Another nod. Todd’s jaw was starting to ache from the effort of keeping his mouth shut.
“Hell, the woman works all the time. Maybe she’ll find a massage therapist or a pool boy or maybe just a park ranger nearby who’ll give her a chance to really enjoy herself.”
His beer bottle was about to crack with the tight grip Todd held. Behind his carefully neutral expression, a storm was building. Jealousy and possessiveness and a thousand other emotions he had no right to feel warred for dominance in his chest.
“In fact, maybe Sadie?—”
“You want to shut the fuck up about Sadie?” The words erupted from Todd’s throat like a growl, low and dangerous and completely beyond his control.
Casper’s bark of laughter caught him off guard, and Todd swung his head around to find both men grinning at him like they’d just won the lottery.
“What?” Todd demanded, feeling heat crawl up his neck. “What the hell are you laughing at?”
“Just wondered how long I was going to have to keep talking about Sadie to finally get a response out of you,” Cory said, still chuckling with obvious satisfaction.
Todd felt like he’d been sucker punched. “What kind of response are you looking for?”
“Trying to figure out what the deal is between you two,” Cory shot back, his amusement fading into something more serious.
“There’s no deal.” The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.
