Page 20 of Todd
“Sadie? Are you ready for your massage?”
She startled as the soft-spoken attendant stepped next to the tub, a gentle smile on her face, clearly having witnessed her impromptu submersion without judgment. “Absolutely,” she replied, managing to return the smile with somethingapproaching genuine warmth. “Why not embrace the full experience?”
Maybe her friends had been right all along. Perhaps it was time to focus entirely on herself, to use this vacation-like assignment as an opportunity to finally let go of the beautiful torture of loving someone who could never be more than a colleague. When she returned to Montana, she would be a different version of herself… stronger, more self-contained, finally free from the persistent hope that kept her trapped in emotional limbo.
She pushed herself up out of the mineral bath with newfound determination, accepting the thick, impossibly soft towel the attendant offered. As she wrapped it around herself and prepared to follow the woman to her next treatment, she made a silent promise to stop wasting her energy on impossible dreams.
It was time to start living for herself again.
11
Todd looked up from his computer screen, the familiar weight of pride settling in his chest as two more Keepers, Frazier and Cole, walked into the main workroom. The space, with its massive conference table commanding the center with state-of-the-art computer stations arranged around the perimeter, never failed to impress him.
Down the hall was a gym, locker room, equipment room, weapons room, and employee lounge. But this command center room represented everything Logan had built, everything they’d all accomplished together. The pride burned as bright in his chest as in even his proudest Marine recon missions. Those had given him purpose as a younger man, but what LSIMT represented was a deeper camaraderie forged not just in duty, but by choice. He was older and wiser… thinking of Sadie, he mentally scratched the wiser part.
He was a lucky bastard, and he knew it. For nearly fifteen years, he’d planned on finishing his twenty with the Marines, then staying on as an instructor. Military life had structure and predictability. But then his eyes had been opened to something else entirely—a way to continue using his skills in the civilianworld without the suffocating weight of military bureaucracy pressing down on every decision.
His family had scattered, all of them drawn to the Lighthouse Security network. William was in Maine, and Abbie was in California. With Todd settled in Montana, it gave their parents the perfect excuse to travel the country visiting their kids.
It wasn’t lost on him that he’d ended up in the most geographically isolated branch, surrounded by endless sky and mountain peaks that seemed to touch heaven itself. It was just the place for him.
Now, just like every day, Todd’s gaze swept across the room, taking inventory of the team, feeling that familiar surge of belonging. Then, as if drawn by unbidden desire, his eyes drifted to Sadie’s empty workstation, and his chest constricted like a fist had wrapped around his heart.
That happened every damn day, too.
He would glance at her when no one was looking. Her dark hair pulled haphazardly on top of her head, just like the first moment he’d seen her. A crinkle would form between her brows when she was bent over her computer, working desperately on a mission. He remembered the jolt he felt when her gaze turned toward him. Her fingers were delicate as they flew over the keyboards, and the memory of those fingers dancing over his skin always sent a longing through his chest.
But now, her absence created a void that seemed to suck the energy from the room. The easy banter felt forced without her quick wit to balance it. The technical discussions lacked her sharp insights. He missed the way the overhead lights glistened off her dark hair. He knew he had it bad and only had himself to blame for not being able to call himself more than just a fellow Keeper.
They’d maintained their careful dance for so long, being professional colleagues who made conversation, occasionallyshared jokes, and worked seamlessly together on assignments. But underneath it all, tension hummed between them like a live wire, carefully hidden so the others wouldn’t pick up on the electric current that could burn them both.
Before his thoughts could venture into that familiar minefield littered with regret and impossible longings, Logan strode into the room, and their morning briefing began.
The assignments were standard fare: several security installations, a protection detail for a scientist traveling to Germany, another for a high-level financier attending meetings in Japan. Todd listened with professional attention, but part of his mind remained anchored to the empty chair where Sadie should have been.
“About the security detail,” Frazier said, referring to the European assignment. “I know you guys will have my back, but damn, I’ll be glad when Sadie gets here.”
“Yeah, man,” Dalton agreed. “She’s probably soaking in some hot tub right now, letting all her stress and worries just melt away while simultaneously tracking everything at that spa.”
Cory nodded. “She deserves it to be a real vacation and not a mission. I hadn’t realized she’s taken very few days off since she was hired.”
The words hit Todd like a sucker punch to the gut. He’d known because there was nothing about her that he didn’t notice. Sadie worked with relentless determination that would eventually break even the strongest person. He’d tried to bring it up, tried to breach that careful wall they’d built between them, but she’d shut him down every time with that sharp efficiency that could cut glass.
“I’m a big girl, Todd. I can take care of myself.”
The memory of her voice, crisp with dismissal, made his jaw clench. Of course, she was tough. She had to be to survive being one of the few women working with mostly men, but that didn’tmean she had to carry every burden alone. It also didn’t mean she couldn’t accept help from someone who...
He sighed.Someone who what? Someone who’d royally fucked up the one chance he’d had to be something more to her than just another coworker.
Logan’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts. “Mary mentioned it months ago, but I kept assuming Sadie would take care of herself. This mission is not a vacation for her, and as soon as she returns, she will be on mandatory leave. I’ve instructed Mary that while leave days can accrue, everyone has to take time off each year. No exceptions.”
“You don’t have to twist my arm,” Devlin said with a grin. “I love this job, but I love having some downtime too.”
“Evie already has plans for a trip to Disney World.” Sisco chuckled. “And her mom and I think it’s just the right age for her to enjoy the magic.”
“If anyone deserves Disney World, little Evie does,” Logan said what they all were thinking. Sisco’s little stepdaughter was in remission from cancer and deserved nothing but the best from now on.
The others nodded in agreement, but Todd felt like he was drowning in his own guilt. He should have pushed Sadie harder, should have found a way to make her listen, should have done something other than watch her slowly disappear into her work because he’d made it impossible for her to trust him with anything deeper.
