Page 15 of Todd
Saint Mary’s Lake stretched before them like a mirror reflecting the towering peaks of Glacier National Park. The water was so pristine it seemed to hold pieces of the Montana sky captive in its depths. The air carried the crisp bite of early autumn, tinged with the scent of pine and the promise of snow that would soon dust the surrounding mountains.
Sadie adjusted her life vest with hands that trembled slightly—not from the cool morning air, but from the proximity of the man settling into the front seat of their two-person kayak. Todd’s broad shoulders filled her field of vision as he gripped his paddle, every movement efficient in the way that spoke to years of physical training.
But that wasn’t all she noticed. His arms were powerful, corded with muscle that flexed as he adjusted his grip. His light brown hair, always trimmed neatly, caught the early morning light, revealing the red highlights that only emerged in the sun. It was a detail she’d memorized during countless briefings where she’d found herself studying his profile instead of mission parameters.
It wasn’t unusual for her to catalog every detail about him. Over the past year, she’d become helplessly attuned to hismoods, reading the subtle tells that others missed entirely. She could gauge his sleep quality by the tension in his jaw during morning briefings. She knew he was genuinely happy when the crinkles around his eyes deepened just a fraction.
When he was irritated, his left hand would flex almost imperceptibly, fingers tapping once against his thigh in a rhythm only she seemed to notice. And she could always tell on the rare occasions when he was participating in activities out of duty rather than desire. His shoulders would carry a subtle stiffness, and his laughter came a little too late to be completely natural. The last she’d notice was when they’d all gone to the bar near the compound, and he’d been pulled onto the dance floor by a woman, egged on by the other Keepers who told him to loosen up. Sadie had smiled, but her heart ached knowing that even though the chances were slim that he would head off to the hotel with the woman, just seeing someone in his arms always hurt.
Right now, she could see the genuine anticipation in the way he held himself, the slight forward lean that meant he was looking forward to the challenge ahead rather than simply enduring another team-building exercise. His presence filled the kayak like a physical force, and she was achingly aware of every breath he took, every shift of his weight that rocked their shared vessel.
This is torture, she thought, gripping her own paddle with white-knuckled intensity.Beautiful, exquisite torture.
Logan’s weekend retreat had been perfectly planned, as always. The rustic cabins dotting the lakeshore provided comfortable accommodations for the team, while the wilderness offered opportunities for both relaxation and the kind of physical challenges that kept them sharp. The presence of his wife, Vivian, added warmth and laughter to their group dynamic, her easy rapport with the Keepers proving that she truly understood the brotherhood her husband had built.
And then there was Lenore, glowing with the happiness of a newly married woman as she shared stories and jokes with her husband, Sisco. The sight of their easy intimacy sent pangs of longing through Sadie’s chest that she tried desperately to ignore.
“Three women instead of one,” Logan had explained when announcing the retreat plans. Not because he didn’t trust his team implicitly, but because he understood that dynamics mattered. She spent so much time surrounded by a dozen men that it was nice for her other women friends to be there as well.
Logan was nothing if not thoughtful. But his consideration couldn’t protect her from the one danger he didn’t know existed… the way her heart raced every time Todd entered a room.
“Ready, partner?” Todd’s voice carried over his shoulder, warm with the competitive spirit that made these team exercises so enjoyable. The casual endearment sent electricity racing along her nerve endings, though she knew he meant nothing more than temporary teamwork.
“Ready,” she managed, forcing enthusiasm into her voice while her treacherous mind cataloged the way his hair curled slightly at the nape of his neck, still damp from his morning shower.
The starting horn echoed across the lake, and suddenly they moved in perfect synchronization, their paddles cutting through the water with the kind of coordination that spoke to a natural partnership. Todd called out the rhythm, his voice steady and encouraging, while Sadie found herself matching his cadence without conscious thought.
We work well together,she realized with a mixture of pride and heartache.In everything we do, we just... fit.
As their kayak sliced through the crystalline water, Sadie’s mind drifted to the countless moments over the past year whenshe’d caught herself watching him during briefings, memorizing the way his brow furrowed when he was analyzing tactical scenarios. How many times had she wished for conversations that went beyond mission parameters and operational requirements? How many nights had she lain in her bunkhouse bed, separated from his room by a mere wall, remembering the night they met when she fell asleep in his arms?
Too many, she admitted to herself as they rounded the first marker buoy. Far too many for someone who was supposed to be maintaining professional boundaries.
“Looking good back there, Sadie!” Todd called out, glancing over his shoulder with a grin that made her heart stutter. “Keep that pace, and we might actually win this thing!”
His voice sent warmth flooding through her chest, and she found herself pushing harder, driven by the desire to make him proud. Working with him was effortless, and it made her feel they could accomplish anything together. That thought almost made her lose the rhythm of the paddle strokes.Could we have accomplished being a couple and working together?But even as the thought struck her, she knew that trying after only one night had been too much of a risk.Our timing wasn’t written in the stars, she thought ruefully.
Their kayak surged forward, cutting through the wake of competing teams with the kind of precision that came from two people who understood each other on an instinctive level. Around them, laughter and good-natured trash talk echoed across the water as their teammates battled for supremacy in various watercraft.
But for Sadie, the world had contracted to just the rhythm of their paddles, the burn in her shoulders and arms, and the steady presence of the man whose voice guided their coordination. This was as close as she’d ever be to Todd Blake.They’d work as partners, their movements synchronized, their goals aligned.
If only it could always be like this, she thought as they approached the final turn.If only we could be partners in everything, not just missions and training exercises.
They crossed the finish line in second place, and they both whooped with satisfaction as their kayak glided toward the makeshift dock. Todd’s hand found hers as they climbed out of the craft, his calloused fingers warm and strong as he helped her onto the wooden planks.
“Great job, Sadie,” he said, his eyes bright with shared accomplishment. “I couldn’t have asked for a better teammate.”
Teammate.The word should have been a compliment, but it felt like a knife twisting in her chest. Always teammates, never anything more.
“You too,” she managed, forcing a smile that felt genuine despite the ache in her heart. “We make a good team.”
For a second, she saw something in his eyes that she’d seen over the past year… a flash of sadness. Or maybe longing. But it quickly shuttered as he blinked, then turned toward the others clambering onto the deck.
The afternoon dissolved into the kind of easy camaraderie that made these retreats fun—shared meals, competitive games, and the comfortable banter of people who’d chosen each other as family. As evening approached, several of the team members began discussing plans to visit the local bar, their voices carrying the anticipation of men looking forward to cold beer and the possibility of female companionship.
“You coming, Sadie?” Cory asked as the group began organizing transportation. “There’s supposed to be live music tonight.”
She’d gone countless times when they were back at the compound, even learning to enjoy the laid-back atmosphere oftheir regular haunts.Even if it meant being in the space where she’d first met Todd.There were times when their eyes would meet over the table, and she knew his mind wandered down the same path as hers.We had one night when this place was ours.
