Page 12 of Todd
His jaw clenched, and he felt his throat work as he swallowed hard. He stared out at the endless Montana plains for a long moment, gathering courage from the vast landscape, before turning back to meet her gaze with obvious effort.
“You were never a mistake. What happened between us was never a mistake. But I said that to you, and I was wrong. Dead wrong.”
“Okay.” She refused to give him anything more than that single word, unwilling to make this easier for him when he’d made it so much harder for her.
“It wasn’t the right thing to say,” he continued, his expression twisting with what he knew was genuine regret. “I was blindsided. I knew Logan was interviewing candidates that week, but we hadn’t been given details about who might be coming in. When I met you at the bar, it never occurred to me that you might be...”
“Oh, it never occurred to you that he might hire a woman.” Her voice was flat in reply to his fumbled explanation.
Todd grimaced and shook his head vigorously. “No, that’s not what I meant at all. Hell, this has nothing to do with your gender.”
“So I was acceptable to pick up in a bar and fuck, but not acceptable to work alongside?” The crude words seemed foreign coming from her mouth, but he could see she wanted to wound him the way he’d wounded her.
A heavy sigh escaped his lungs, and he felt the frustration building in the tight line of his shoulders. “Sadie, I’m trying here. I’m really trying to tell you that I’m sorry, and that I handled everything wrong.”
“Fine.” It was now her turn to heft her shoulders in a heavy sigh. “Say whatever you need to get off your chest so we can go back to being nothing more than coworkers.”
He opened and closed his mouth several times, struggling with words that seemed determined to come out wrong. Finally, he managed, “I didn’t handle the shock of seeing you walk out of Logan’s office well. Obviously, if I’d known the night before that you were in town to interview for LSIMT, we never would have gone beyond conversation at the bar.”
“But we did go beyond conversation.”
“Yes, we did. And it meant a lot to me.” The words carried all the weight of what they’d shared—the laughter, the connection, the earth-shattering intimacy that had made him believe, for a few precious hours, that he might have found something worth holding on to.
“And, if we’re going to be honest, Todd, I really like you. Orlikedyou… the you I got to know that night. Not so much this silent, brooding, growly version I’ve had for the past two weeks.”
“I know. That’s the part I completely fucked up handling.” His voice dropped, becoming rougher with emotion. “It wasn’t being with you that was a mistake, Sadie. It wasn’t what we did or how it felt or any of that. It’s just that nothing can comefrom it now. Both our careers depend on us doing our job and not taking risks. An attempted relationship between coworkers could backfire. I was terrified that if the other Keepers found out, it would create problems for us both.”
His eyes never wavered from her face as he spoke, and despite her anger, he found himself cataloging those familiar details that he’d memorized over the past few weeks. He noted the way her eyes darkened when she was hurt, the stubborn set of her jaw, the slight tremor in her hands that she was trying so hard to hide. He was honest enough with himself to admit that if she hadn’t been so devastatingly beautiful or such an incredible lover, this entire conversation would have been infinitely easier to navigate.
She nodded slowly, and he watched some of the fight drain out of her. “I appreciate the apology, Todd. And if you’re being honest with me, then I can be honest too. I felt a real connection that night… something deeper than just physical attraction. And yes, it absolutely sucks to know that’s all it can ever be.” She met his gaze directly, letting him see the hurt she’d been trying so hard to hide. “But I need you to stop stomping around the compound like a caged bear and glaring at me like I’ve personally wronged you. That’s a surefire way to let everyone know something happened between us.”
“You didn’t wrong me, Sadie.” His voice was quiet but fierce with conviction. “That’s the furthest thing from what I feel.”
A week ago, those words might have opened a door between them. Now they're just emphasizing another wall that will never come down.
Finally, she waved her hand dismissively. “Okay. We’re Keepers. Coworkers. I’m sure we’re both mature enough to handle whatever attraction existed between us, knowing it ended after one night.”
He opened his mouth to say something that felt important, urgent even, judging by the way his chest was tightening, but she turned forward in her seat and cut him off. “Let’s get out of here. We still have three more camera stations to check.”
He knew she was slamming the door on the night that rocked his world and made him believe he might have discovered someone he could be with. But he’d done this and had no one to blame but himself. He tucked his pain deep inside his heart and wondered if she did the same.
7
SIX MONTHS LATER
The Montana morning stretched endlessly before them. The brisk air carried the promise of snow as the LSIMT Keepers raced across the training course like dogs let loose after a fox. Behind them, the compound’s buildings grew smaller against the base of the mountains. They’d all learned that the decommissioned light towers still on the mountains of Montana gave them the moniker of Keepers, just like the original LSI in Maine and the West Coast branch near a California lighthouse.
Todd’s lungs burned with the thin mountain air as he pushed through the final stretch of their PT run, his boots finding purchase on the rocky terrain that would challenge even seasoned hikers. This was their playground—hundreds of acres of wilderness that Logan had secured for training exercises, a natural obstacle course that kept them sharp between missions.
The competitive fire that drove him through Marine Recon operations burned just as hot here, fueled by the camaraderie of Keepers who’d chosen each other as family. Around him, his teammates moved with the fluid efficiency of a pack, their voices carrying across the vast landscape as they hurled good-natured insults and challenges at each other.
Logan had reached out to the other LSI locations for recommendations when he started building his team. The first two Keepers, Sisco and Devlin, had come from Logan's former Special Forces teams, men who understood the unspoken language of shared combat. Then came the second wave: Todd, Cole Iversen, Frazier Dolby, and Dalton Dolby. They’d all accepted Logan’s offer without hesitation, drawn by the promise of meaningful work and the kind of camaraderie that they’d had in the service.
The support staff completed their unconventional family. Mary Smithwick handled everything from logistics to payroll with the efficiency of a seasoned general, while Bert Tomlinson managed the physical compound, equipment, and weapons with meticulous care.
“Come on, Blake!” Cory’s voice echoed from somewhere behind, breathless with exertion and laughter. “My grandmother moves faster than that, and she’s been dead for ten years!”
Todd’s response was a burst of speed that carried him up the final ridge, his competitive nature refusing to back down from any challenge. But as the finish line of a simple red flag planted atop a boulder that marked the end of their circuit came into view, his attention was split.
