Page 10 of Todd
He scrubbed his hand over his face. “You have to know we can’t let this get awkward.”
She stared, uncertain what to say in the face of his obvious displeasure in finding her now employed at LSIMT. “Awkward?”
He paced a few feet away before he turned, stalking back to her. “Yeah. We’re coworkers. Never met before. That’ll be the way to go.” He paced again, as though still thinking the situation through without asking her what she thought.
White-hot fury replaced every other emotion, burning through her veins like acid. “God, you really are a complete prick!”
He stopped abruptly and turned to face her fully again. “I’m looking out for both of us. I just don’t want this getting out. I don’t want this to become a thing between us.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Todd? What kind ofthing?”
“The kind where everyone figures out we slept together.”
Her laugh was bitter and sharp. “Well, I’m hardly going to take out a billboard advertisement!”
He grabbed the back of his neck and squeezed, before his shoulders slumped as if under enormous weight. But she was tooangry now to feel sympathy for whatever internal battle he was fighting.
She narrowed her eyes, letting every ounce of her disdain show. “Are you worried I’m going to follow you around like some lovesick puppy? That I’ll start doodling little hearts on official documents? Are you afraid I’ll cockblock you the next time you want to prowl that bar for easy pickups?”
The thought of him with other women sent an unexpected stab of jealousy through her chest, but she forced it down. They’d had one night, and clearly, it hadn’t meant to him what it had meant to her. While that knowledge felt like swallowing broken glass, she could handle the disappointment. What she couldn’t handle was his lack of basic human decency.
His lips pressed into a tight line, but he offered no response.
Her rage had built to the point where she didn’t need to shout or scream. Instead, her voice dropped to barely above a whisper, each word sharp enough to cut. “I’m sorry you consider last night such a regrettablemistake. But I assure you that I’m mature enough to recognize and appreciate what it actually meant without trying to sabotage either of our careers. I would expect the same level of professionalism from you, without having to endure you trying to figure out how to pretend you never saw me naked!”
He sighed heavily and nodded. “I’m?—”
A cheerful voice from across the compound interrupted them. “You must be Sadie!” A woman in a wheelchair was rolling toward them from one of the newer buildings, her smile warm and welcoming. “I’m Mary. Come on in, and I’ll get you everything you need to get started.”
Sadie turned back to Todd, knowing with certainty that she wouldn’t look at him the same way again. The man who’d held her with such tenderness, who’d made her feel beautiful anddesired and worthy of care, had been replaced by a robotic stranger.
“Thank you, Mr. Blake.” Her voice was professionally neutral, giving him no opening for further conversation. Without waiting for his response, she walked quickly toward Mary and the sanctuary of official business.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of introductions, paperwork, and technical briefings. She met her new colleagues, all of whom seemed genuinely pleased to have her join the team. She toured the impressive computer setup that would be her new workspace and signed more employee and confidentiality agreements than she’d seen since joining the CIA.
As evening approached, and she prepared to leave for her final night at the hotel, several of her new coworkers gathered near the bunkhouse.
“Hey!” one called out with genuine friendliness. “Do you need help moving your stuff in?”
She could see Todd standing slightly apart from the group, his expression unreadable in the gathering dusk. The sight of him sent fresh pain lancing through her chest, but she managed a smile for the others.
“Thanks, but I’m going back to the hotel tonight since I’ve already paid for it. I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
Everyone offered waves or casual salutes of acknowledgment. Everyone except Todd, who stood silent but made no move to approach her.
She didn’t give a damn about his conflict. When he’d called their night together a mistake, something vital inside her had cracked open, allowing grief to flood back into spaces that had briefly been filled with hope and possibility. One night with Todd had made her feel more than she’d felt in a long time.
She snorted…God, I must be so deep in grief that I make a big deal about a one-night stand. Or maybe I’m just a loser.She thought she’d found something precious on her first night in Montana—a new beginning that included not just professional fulfillment but also a personal connection.That’s okay, she told herself as she squared her shoulders.I’m fine. I’m good. I have a new career and a place to call home. That’s good enough for me.
6
Todd stared at the ceiling of his bunkhouse room, the digital clock on his phone displaying 3:47 a.m. in red numbers that seemed to be accusing him. Hell, everything seemed to be accusing him, and he had no one to blame but himself. Sleep had become a stranger since Sadie’s arrival two weeks ago, his mind cycling endlessly through that morning when everything had gone catastrophically wrong.
“Jesus, last night was such a fucking mistake.”
The words echoed in his head like a broken record, each repetition driving the knife of regret deeper into his chest. He’d replayed that moment a thousand times, searching for some way he could have handled it differently, some magical combination of words that would have preserved both their dignity and their careers.
But there had been no time to think, no opportunity to process the shock of seeing her walk out of Logan’s office. One moment, he’d hoped to see her again at that same bar where they’d discovered their connection, and ask her to dinner. Suddenly, she was his colleague, his teammate, and someone whose professional reputation shouldn’t be romantically tangled with his.
