Page 20 of Claimed By the Bookstore Alpha
“I was a fool,” had been on repeat in my head the past two weeks since I'd watched Clark walk away from me outside the bookstore. I'd let him go because I was too much of a coward to tell him the truth.
My wolf was miserable, pacing restlessly beneath my skin and whining for the man I'd driven away. He’d been pestering me and I’d refused to listen, knowing what he was saying and what was in my heart were one and the same.
Clark was my mate!
My wolf had been trying to tell me this since that first day.
I’d stopped sleeping and jolted awake from dreams where Clark was still in my bed where he belonged. The apartment was quiet and empty without his laughter filling the corners.
I wasn't eating enough or taking care of myself. I needed a hair cut but didn’t have the energy to get it done. Besides, the hairdresser would want to chat about books and I wasn’t in the mood. I might burst into tears.
Martin commented on my appearance twice this week, asking if I was feeling alright. I’d brushed him off with an excuse about being busy, but I was coming apart at the seams. Icouldn’t remember if I’d brushed my teeth or put on deodorant and I stared at the computer without seeing whatever was on the screen.
"You look like hell," Martin said, not bothering with pleasantries as he browsed the philosophy section.
"Thanks for the pep talk."
"I'm serious. When's the last time you had a proper meal? Or a full night's sleep?"
I couldn't remember. Food had lost all appeal and it turned to ash in my mouth whenever I tried to eat. Sleep was broken by dreams of Clark's disappointed face and the memory of me calling us incompatible.
"I'm fine," I lied.
Martin gave me a look that said he wasn't buying it. "This wouldn't have anything to do with that young man who was helping you with inventory, would it? Clark something?"
My hands stilled on the book I'd been shelving. "I don't know what you mean."
"The children's book author. Nice guy. Haven't seen him around lately."
"We had a... disagreement."
"Ah." Martin pulled a book from the shelf, examined it, and put it back. "Want to talk about it?"
"No."
"Sometimes it helps to get an outside perspective."
I looked at this kind man who'd been coming to my store for years and who'd never judged me for my antisocial tendencies. For a moment, I almost wanted to tell him about shifters and my wolf and how I'd ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me because I was too scared to be honest.
Instead, I shook my head. "It's complicated."
"Most worthwhile things are."
The words were too close to what Clark had said that night on my couch, and I had to turn away before Martin could see the pain on my face.
"I should get back to work.”
He nodded, but I could sense his concerned gaze following me as I retreated to my office.
The days blurred together after that. I went through the motions of running the store but it seemed I was watching my life from the outside. My wolf was getting more agitated, and I worried I'd have to leave town because otherwise he’d have me shifting somewhere public.
Every word Clark had spoken was a knife twisting in my chest. I wanted to tell him about my wolf and how my whole body ached when we were apart. I'd never felt whole as I did when he was near. But then I thought about what happened when I was a kid and my resolve hardened. Better Clark hate me now than be terrified of me later.
It was nearly three weeks after our disagreement that I saw him. It was Sunday and the store was closed. I spotted Clark across the street, heading toward the pharmacy. He was pale and I imagined he'd been sleeping as poorly as I had. But he’d probably forgotten about me and might be dating some new guy. I bent over as my belly churned at the thought.
He was wearing the sweater I'd given him that first night that gave me hope he was thinking about me. But I’d been horrible to him and we’d broken up—I guessed that was what it was—so why would he be missing me?
My wolf wanted to cross the street and demanded I apologize. He insisted I pull Clark into my arms and never let him go. Instead, I was frozen on the sidewalk, watching my mate disappear into the pharmacy.
