Page 70 of Colton's Second Chance
“Can we talk later, after the burial?” he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
“I—I don’t know.”
He backed out of the hug and gave her a puzzled look.
She dropped her gaze to the ground. “I’m leaving town right after the burial. I fly out of Anchorage at six.”
“You’re leaving…today?” He took a step back as if punched in the gut. “But…”
“I thought it was best if I—”
“Best for who?” he said bitterly, his volume loud enough to attract the attention of the funeral home staff. “I thought we’d gotten past this…this delusion of yours that you were somehow better off alone! Do my wishes not count for anything?”
She looked up at him, her brow pinched. “Of course they do! That’s why I made a reservation to go home! To get out of your way!”
He huffed loudly and tugged her by her arm to stand away from the crowd of mourners emerging from the church. Melting snow crunched under their feet as they crossed the churchyard. When he stopped and faced her, irritation and—was it panic? desperation?—lit his bright blue eyes. “Tell me, please, what I have done or said that makes you think forone secondthat I don’t want you here?”
She lifted her chin, battling back the sting of tears and flurry of self-doubt. “It’s not what you said so much as what you haven’t. For the last three days! I’ve been worried sick about you, and if not for reports from your family, I’d have gone nuts thinking you could be hurt or…or d-dead! Why haven’t you answered any of my texts or calls?”
He groaned and chuckled without mirth. “Oh, Noelle. You have been gone from here a long time, haven’t you?” He cupped her chin and stared deep into her eyes. “One, this is Alaska, not Seattle.”
“Meaning?”
“Cell reception is sketchy at the best of times, and in the part of the state where I’ve been the past three days, it’s nonexistent.”
Her mouth tightened. “But you talked to your family.”
“I reached Kansas through the SAR and ABI satellite phones and shortwave radios, and she relayed messages to my mother and the others as I asked.”
Noelle blinked, lowered her gaze, though his palm still gripped her chin. “Oh.”
“Oh,” he repeated. “Second, I’ve beena littlebusy tracking Scott the last few days.” He arched an eyebrow to highlight his understatement. “I’ve hadmaybeseven hours of sleep in the last sixty, and the only reason I’m here in Shelby instead of up north still looking for Montgomery is I was determined to be here for you when you buried Allison.”
Eli’s face blurred as tears puddled in her eyes. She tried to choke down the tears, but the constriction in her throat made swallowing difficult and talking impossible.
“So, let’s try this again. Why are you leaving?”
She opened her mouth, struggling to make some sound, but before she could, he added, “And don’t go with the easy answer. Don’t tell me you have a job and a house in Seattle. I want the truth. The real truth. Why are youreallyleaving?”
Pain slashed deep to her core, because she knew the answer. Fear. She’d thought she’d moved past feeling scared about giving Eli her whole heart and trust. Yet the minute he didn’t—couldn’t—answer her texts, she let the doubts creep back in.
Love and trust have to be unconditional.
Sasha’s words from last week sounded in her head like a gong. What was she doing? She couldn’t run away again, couldn’t shut Eli out of her life and hide like she had thirteen years ago. If the past weeks had showed her anything, they’d proven her fears had been unwarranted. Eli’s love had remained true. His family had proven warm, accepting and supportive. Hadn’t they all showed up for her today to love her through her grief?
“Ms. Harris, we’re ready to go when you are,” the funeral director called to her.
Eli’s eyes narrowed on her. She hadn’t given him an answer yet. But he deserved more than an answer. He deserved a demonstration of her love and full commitment.
She did a quick mental calculation, then turned to the funeral director. “Please go ahead. I’ll meet you at the cemetery in a little while.”
The man gave a nod and turned to go.
Eli was frowning when she faced him again. “Come with me. Please.” She started back across the churchyard, but Eli didn’t. She turned back and found him scowling, clearly unhappy with her lack of response. “Please,” she repeated, and he trudged toward her, then followed her back to the church steps.
Eli’s family was filing out of the church and heading to their respective cars. Feeling a confidence and rightness that kicked up her pulse, she waved her hands over her head and shouted, “Excuse me! Can I ask that you all reassemble inside for a moment?”
Turning back to Eli, she said, “I’ll be with you shortly. Have everyone take a seat again.”
