Page 28 of Colton's Second Chance
“You don’t have to—I mean, I appreciate the invitation, but…” Desperate for a way to change the subject, Noelle started to ask why they weren’t driving to their destination, then caught herself. Had she really been gone from Alaska that long? The sheer size of the state and vast wilderness without any roads meant getting to remote areas required small planes, often seaplanes that landed in lakes or on rivers. What few roads there were often required long roundabout trips around mountain ranges to get from point A to point B.
Fortunately, Eli returned a moment later, carrying his snowshoes with him. “Glad someone can get some use out of them. Until I wrap up this case, I don’t see myself getting away anywhere for recreation.”
“Except Sasha’s party, you mean?” Genna asked. “We’ve invited Noelle to come, so you two work out the details, okay?”
Parker leaned close to his brother and muttered something like “finishing what he started” under his breath, his grin wickedly teasing.
Eli sighed and opened the front door. “Don’t you have to be going now?”
Parker laughed and gave his big brother a hug on the way out. Genna, too, stopped for an embrace and a cheek kiss. “Thank you, Eli. We’ll bring them back in a couple days.” Turning to Noelle, she waved and called, “Nice to meet you, Noelle.”
Noelle returned a wave as the door closed behind the couple.
Eli faced her and groaned. “Sorry about that. I hope they didn’t put you on the spot while I was out of the room.”
“You mean any more than we already did looking like this?” She waved a hand to her buttons and ran her fingers through her hair.
Eli skewed his face with mortification. “I haven’t heard the end of this. Parker will pull this out to embarrass me at family dinners for years to come.”
Noelle noticed he didn’t mention the upcoming party, and her chest squeezed. Was there a reason he hadn’t invited her before now? And since the subject had come up with Parker and Genna, why wasn’t he asking her now? Noelle had to battle down a swell of hurt. Was her relationship with Eli amusing to the family? She wanted to believe he meant the fact that Parker had interrupted their interlude, but old demons whispered that she might be the source of the awkwardness.
Did his family have a problem with Eli dating a woman of Korean descent? Was there another reason Eli seemed reluctant to introduce her to the whole family?
She swung away from him, struggling to keep her composure. How many times had she fretted over these questions in college? Eli’s family was so important to him, such a big part of his life. How could she ever fit in? Even if race weren’t a part of the equation, she didn’t have warm familial experiences as any sort of reference. She was terrified that once the Coltons met her, she’d prove a disappointment somehow. That she’d embarrass Eli or cause dissension in the family in some way, because that was all she knew of family life. Rejection. Regret. Isolation.
Eli moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the side of her neck. “Now where were we?”
She wiggled free and buttoned her blouse correctly, tucking the tail in her slacks. “Maybe it’s a good thing Parker and Genna stopped by when he did. They saved us from making a mistake we’d regret.”
“A mistake?” He sounded truly stunned by her assessment, and she pivoted to face him, frowning.
“Yes, a mistake. I’m only in town for a few days, and sex between us would be fraught with all kinds of emotional baggage. We’d be foolish to open old wounds like that.”
He lowered himself slowly to the couch. “Emotional baggage,” he mumbled and bit the inside of his cheek. Then glancing up at her, he firmed his jaw. “The night we went to the Cove for dinner, you agreed to answer my questions about why you shut me out after college if I shared case information with you.”
Her gut swooped, and her mouth dried.
“I found a way to legitimately include you in the investigation. I’ve given you access to confidential files in the name of finding the killer. Now it’s your turn to make good on our deal.”
Noelle rubbed her hands on her slacks and moved across the room. If only the physical distance were enough to reestablish the emotional distance she’d once created.
Or had she? Seeing Eli again, the speed with which she’d fallen back under the spell of his blue eyes, his intoxicating kisses, his magnetism would say she’d never gotten over him the way she pretended. Maybe all she’d ever done was bury her feelings, hide from the truth, fool her heart into believing she could find happiness without him.
But had she been happy these past many years?
Content, maybe. But she’d had no interest in dating anyone else. She’d not wanted second best. She’d searched for ways to fill the hole in her life by reading romances, learning yoga, working overtime. All of her attempts helped, in their own way, yet the empty ache remained.
“Is it smart to start this conversation when Asher is due here in a little while? Maybe we should wait until—”
“Noelle.” Eli’s tone stopped her. “I deserve answers, and I want them. Now.”
Chapter 10
Noelle took a deep breath as if fortifying herself for a giant task. Her unease with this conversation pooled anxiety in Eli’s gut as well. Did he want the truth? Was there some dark story? Another man? A life-threatening illness?
He fisted his hands, bracing for what was coming, expecting a sucker punch and tensing his abs to receive the blow.
“You’re right,” she said, her chin bowed to her chest, her fingers tangling nervously. “Like I said before, it was never your fault. Truly. I just…” She turned to stare out his window at the November darkness. “I was scared.”
