Page 102 of Naughty Dreams
Grief was a roller coaster. In the morning, DJ had lost any of the previous day’s sass. Getting out of bed held no appeal. Roy had promised DJ a day at his home, but he wasn’t going to let him go back into his funk. Milton had made sure that they left with a supply of DJ’s tea, so Roy brought him a cup and sat on the edge of the bed. “C’mon, kid. Wake up.”
DJ shifted to his back, his gaze sliding over Roy’s jeans and premium cotton, short-sleeved crew neck shirt worn loose over them. A favorite casual style, he had it in several colors and wore the cream-colored one today. The flicker of interest in his sub’s eyes said he approved.
Then DJ’s attention dropped to what Roy was wearing on his wrist.
DJ had kept Gilda’s bracelet on when he’d taken everything off to serve Roy last night. He’d worn it to bed, too. As Roy had listened to him sleep, his arm over DJ, his thumb had stroked it several times.
So when he rose to get showered and dressed, his eyes had landed on the only bracelet he owned, and he’d decided to wear it. The tiny sparkling blue beads were broken up by six letter beads in the middle.Be Kind.
“Did Gilda make you this?” DJ laid his hand on it.
“Yes and no. The original was a cheap one on a stretchy cord, like what parents buy their kids at dollar stores. She restrung them on a cable wire with a screw lock so it wouldn’t break. Still, I usually keep it here, so I don’t risk losing it on the job.”
“Can you tell me the story with it?”
“There’s no story. I just thought it added a pop of color to my army of gray suits.”
DJ rolled his eyes. Roy touched the beads, stroked DJ’s hand, and let their fingers lace. “On my last few months in the service, I was stationed stateside. One of the kids on base got kidnapped. I helped the investigation. Her bracelet was found where she disappeared. It was broken, the beads scattered. We collected them as evidence. When I realized what the letters spelled, it had a strange effect on me.”
When he’d seen it in its normal spot in his closet, hanging on a magnetic hook on his gun safe, next to his lineup of gun holsters, he’d questioned whether DJ asking about it was the best thing. Then he’d thought of where the conversation might lead and took the chance.
“We got the guy, but…she was already dead. When they were packing up the evidence after the trial, the parents didn’t want it, so the lead investigator let me take it. For a long time, I would sitwith it and try to figure out why it had the effect on me it did, and why I wanted to have it.”
DJ was staring at him. “Did you figure it out?”
“It reminded me of how precious innocent hope is.” Roy lifted his gaze from the bracelet to DJ’s face. “Up until your teens, you had a pretty tough life, DJ. Yet I see that quality in you. It’s a permanent thing that nothing has been able to shake. I think your connection to music is a big part of that.”
“Nobody’s ever called me innocent. I’ll have to think about that.” DJ’s expression had shuttered some, but as he propped an arm behind his head, he kept his other hand linked with Roy’s. “What would you be if you weren’t a bodyguard?”
“What do you think I’d be?”
“I don’t think you’d ever want to be anything different than what you were born to be. If you were born a thousand years ago, you’d be a shepherd. When the wolf came, you’d protect your flock.”
“Same question for you.” Roy rocked their hands back and forth on his knee. DJ’s gaze followed the movement like a metronome. “What would you choose to be if rockstar’s not on the table? Teach music lessons? Run a guitar store? Play cover songs for quarters at a subway station? Or, no, I got it. Costumed character at an amusement park. Maybe the hind end of the donkey fromShrek.”
“How did your mother not drown you as a baby?”
“Once upon a time, I was as irresistible as you were. Protecting rockstars changed me.” Roy nudged him. “When I asked you, you thought of something. What popped into your head?”
“Museum employee,” DJ said with a half-smile, but his eyes were moody. “One of the small regional history ones, like they probably have in this town. The people who come in are few, but interested. Lots of places to sit and think.”
Roy lifted a surprise brow. “I did not see that coming. There’s got to be a story with it.”
“I ducked into one a few years back, right after our first album went platinum. Up until then, the occasional hype had been flattering and fun. But that day…I realized the downside of what it meant. My days of going out in public without a disguise or protection were over.”
DJ waved his free hand. “I’m not bitching. I know how lucky I am and ninety percent of it has been blast. But sometimes…especially these past few days, I think, what if?”
His face showed stark pain. “When we went to the airport that day, I remember there was this dingy old mobile home park nearby, but there were these kids, playing on a rusty swing set, having the time of their lives. Happy, simple.
“What if we’d stayed a local garage band? Practicing wherever we could find a place that didn’t annoy the neighbors and make them call the cops. Playing weekend gigs in front of a couple dozen or a couple hundred people who love the music. Getting paid enough to cover gas and expenses, our instrument maintenance, maybe a few six packs. Every Monday we’d go back to our jobs at the coffee shop, the car wash, the restaurant, the service station, no one recognizing our faces.”
At Roy’s inquisitive look, he filled in the blanks. “Steve was assistant manager at a coffee shop. Pete was a mechanic. Loved his cars. Tal worked at the car wash. I was a waiter at a restaurant.” His lips curved. “‘Are you ready to order, sir? Can I tell you about today’s specials?’” Then his gaze darkened again. “They’d be alive, wouldn’t they? I’d trade where we are now for that in a heartbeat.”
“Yeah, but life isn’t lived like that. Not if you’re really living it.”
DJ’s attention went back to their hands, his thumb sliding across Roy’s knuckles. “Tell me about your first private securityjob. As an adult,” he added, with a touch of amusement. “You started in the military, protecting high value visitors, politicians who wanted to visit the hot spots. Still have the uniform?"
Roy shot him a look. "Do you ever stop?"
