Page 96 of Lavender Lake
“No?”
“No, of course not. I have people in my life who I love deeply.”
“Sure. Your family. Your friends, who you consider your family. But have you ever beeninlove?”
“That’s a different question.” I tugged my hand free.
“You’ve never had your heart broken, have you? The death of a parent . . . that’s a different type of grief. I’m talking about a lover. A partner.”
“Don’t need to jump off a building to know you’ll splat on the pavement,” I remarked.
“Entirely my point,” he said. “Why have you never been in love, Salem?”
“Why haven’t you?” I fired back.
“Who says I haven’t?”
“You’ve loved?” I asked quietly.
“Yes. I’ve been loved. And I’ve loved. It never lasted. That’s not the point. The point is, I’ve experienced it. I know the agony of true heartbreak.”
I shoved out of his arms. “Where’s my shirt?” I muttered.
He gently clasped my arm, forcing me to stop. “Oh, I get it.”
“Get what?” I forced myself to look at him.
“You think the next heartbreak will destroy you. For good. Your explosive emotions are just a way to keep people at bay. Am I right?”
I’d felt fear before. Fear when my mother’s diagnosis was announced. Fear when it became obvious that her prognosis was undeniable. Fear of those first few nights in a home that was no longer a home because she was in the ground.
But this . . . this was something else entirely.
This was all-consuming terror that flew through my body. I reached for the numbness that was never far out of reach. Only, this time, it wasn’t there. My one true coping mechanism had somehow disappeared. And I knew where it was. Down the shower drain, along with my tears.
So I did the only thing left that I knew how to do.
I draped my leg over Cas’s and wiggled my body close to his. I pressed the heat of me against him, tacitly begging him to take my body so I could leave my thoughts behind.
He plowed his fingers through my snarled hair and brought my face closer to his.
“Kiss me, Salem. And I’ll make you forget.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Town
“You look happy,” Gracie said as she handed me my coffee.
“I am happy. Dad’s coming home from the hospital today,” I said.
“I knew that. But that’s not what I meant. There’s something else.”
“Something else?”
She leaned closer and lowered her voice. “You look like you’ve been getting some. On the regular.”
“You’re crazy. Who would I possibly be having sex with in this town?” I demanded.
