Page 47 of Lavender Lake
“It’s exhausting, isn’t it?”
“Truth?”
“And when have I ever wanted that.” I sighed. “Yeah, give it to me.”
“It’s exhausting sometimes, for sure. But it’s who you are.”
“Why am I chaos and my mom was just—it was different for her. It’s hard to explain. I’m so similar to her, but so different. She had the energy, but none of the negativity.”
“We are who we are, Salem.”
“What if I want to be something else? Someone else?”
“Who do you want to be?”
“Someone reliable. Someone stable.”
“So, you want to be Hadley? You know why the four of us work? Because Poet and Hadley are the calm to our storms. You can’t be anyone other than who you are. But maybe we can have more awareness about the messes we leave for others to clean up. Maybe as adults, it’s time we all start cleaning up our own messes.”
“Something to think about,” I murmured.
“Is that all?”
“No.”
“So, there’s more? Do tell.”
“Gideon came by today. With a pie from his mom.”
“Your high school boyfriend? Well, that’s interesting. What was it like seeing him?”
“It was fine. Until Bowman saw us together, and then he got all weird and jealous.”
“You’re going to use that against him, aren’t you?”
“Damn right I will.” I laughed, feeling lighter than before I talked to her. “I told you, I’m competitive. And I’m playing to win.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means, I’m not sure you two are playing the same game,” she said. Before I could reply, she went on. “Oh, gotta go. The parents are home. Keep me posted.”
Wyn hung up and my screen went dark.
Light from my bedroom window suddenly sprung to life.
Frowning, I made sure the fire was out, and then I went upstairs to investigate.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The Ranch
“What are you doing in here?” I demanded, trying desperately not to enjoy the sight of Bowman in a pair of flannel sleep pants and a T-shirt that strained over his biceps.
“You locked the bathroom door,” he reminded me. “I came into your room to unlock it. I was going to leave, but then I saw some pictures on your wall and I got curious.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, unsure if I liked him in my space. He invaded it, but also, it felt like he belonged there too.
