Page 46 of Lavender Lake
“No. I will not.” She snorted. “So, you didn’t have sex in the truck and work out all your frustration on him then?”
“No, I didn’t,” I agreed. “We sort of have this bet . . .”
I then explained the parameters.
“Sounds like a win-win to me,” she said. “I mean, if you lose, you win in the end. A night of pure, unadulterated, no-holds-barred, do-whatever-he-wants-to-do-to-you sex? Sign me the fuck up! I’d lose that bet on purpose. Then again, I don’t have your competitive nature.”
“No.” I smiled into the flames. “But here’s the thing. He—I think he gets me, Wyn.”
“Oh,” she said softly.
“Yeah.”
“Gets you like, you’ve told him about your mom and stuff?”
“Not really. But we’ve had these moments, where things spill out of me. And I don’t mean them to, but I don’t feel like I have to guard what I say around him.”
“You never guard what you feel, but you definitely guard what you say. As a general rule, I mean.”
“Yeah. Well, it’s easier to be a destructive volcano,” I said.
“Look over there and not over here. I get you.”
“I know. That’s why I called you. So, what do I do?”
“What do youwantto do?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Being here makes everything so murky.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
We were silent for a moment, and then I said, “Hadley’s happy.”
“Yeah.”
“Reallyhappy.”
“And you’re not,” she stated.
“I’m . . . I don’t know what I am. Happy for her, definitely. But sad for myself. I feel like I’m losing her.”
“Well, you kind of are. We all are. It’s not the four of us anymore.”
“No.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Declan and Hadley are a family now. A unit. And I’m over here, just falling into old dynamics.”
“Programming runs deep,” she agreed. “But we’re also adults in our own right.”
“Are we?” I joked. “I don’t feel like an adult. I feel out of whack.”
“How’s that different from any other time?” she teased.
“I lean into the chaos, usually.”
“And you also create it.”
“Hey!”
“You’re such a drama llama. I think it fuels you,” she said.
