Page 77 of Sweet Venom
Especially when I notice Jude watching me with narrowed eyes.
“Where did you learn to suck cock like that?” he finally asks, offering me my glasses back.
I put them on, looking anywhere but at him, then let my lips pull in a sad smile. “Watching my mom give hundreds of blowjobs through the crack of the closet door during most of my childhood.”
His eyes widen the slightest bit, but I turn and leave before I can see the pity in them.
Or worse. More hate.
“Vi!Oh my God, are you okay?”
I startle as blood drips from my finger, and I realize I sliced through it with a knife as Dahlia rushes toward me.
She holds my hand under the stream of the kitchen faucet, and I wince through the sting.
“Does it hurt a lot?” She checks my finger left and right. “Thank God it’s not that deep, but it’s not shallow either.”
“It’s fine.” I try to go back to chopping the vegetables, but she turns off the stove and drags me to a stool so she can bandage my wound.
“It’snotfine.” She frowns as she retrieves her first aid kit and cleans my finger with antiseptic. “You’ve been zoning out as usual, probably overthinking.”
“That obvious?” I grimace.
“You do that a lot anyway, but it’s more serious lately.”
By lately, she means ever since Jude came into my life. Even I can tell I’m on edge but also not on edge.
It’s weird to describe, but one moment, I feel like I’m flying, and the next, I plummet, racing to the bottom of a cliff with my demons.
My mood is flaky even when I mask it and shove my emotions in the grave I made for my ten-year-old self.
And I don’t know how to fix it half the time. The only solution I’ve found is to always be busy. Work, school, side activities. Even now after we’re back at school, I try to work as many shifts as physically possible, both for the money and to avoid alone time with myself at night.
Because that time—nighttime—scares me and I’ve been waking up shaking and even crying from nightmares.
Sleep has always terrified me.
I’ve given up hope to ever enjoy it.
Dahlia’s brow furrows, locks of her dark hair escaping hermessy bun as she wraps a Band-Aid around my finger, then sits across from me. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”
“Don’t be silly, what could I hide?”
She narrows her eyes. “Are you sure?”
I nod.
“Hmm, I don’t know about that.” She tilts her head to the side, still watching me with suspicion.
“Enough about me.” I rub her arm. “Tell me about your classes at Graystone University. Is it everything you wanted?”
“Hell yeah!” She punches the air. “I’ve been going through all the material, and their medical program is honestly one of the best! I feel so lucky to have been offered a scholarship there right before school started.”
“It’s hard work, not luck. Don’t downplay how much time and effort you dedicate to your grades, Dahl.”
“I know, but, like, it’s super hard to get in. And since they rejected me three years ago, I never thought they’d open the doors for me again. Gah, I’m loving it so much!” Her smile falls. “I’m not loving that we’re on different campuses, though. Maybe I shouldn’t stay at the dorm and come home every day instead.”
“Absolutely not. It’s an hour’s drive and you only have a bike, so that would take forever and cut into your study time. Just stay there and make new friends.”
