Page 193 of Sweet Venom
Before I close the door, I cast a glance in the distance asif expecting—or maybe hoping—to see the familiar black motorcycle I’ve been seeing in my dreams lately.
Or, more accurately, nightmares. Ones that end with Jude’s blood all over that motorcycle.
For the first time, I wish for Mama’s demon back on my chest. Anything is better than those ominous images.
I make Dahlia some coffee, and we sink into the couch. Neither of us is comfortable. This house doesn’t feel like home.
It doesn’t feel like anything at all.
“Are you lonely, Vi?” she asks softly.
“I’m fine. I might have to repeat this year at the new college I’ll enroll in, but I’ve been having so much fun with embroidering.”
“Liar. You’ve been working on that piece for the whole week. And you’re not eating properly. Don’t think I didn’t see all the food you didn’t touch in the fridge. You can’t survive on just ginger ale.”
“I’ll take that as a challenge.” I grin, trying to ease the mood.
“I’m not joking.” She frowns. “I’m truly worried about you. I don’t know what the hell you saw in that brute Jude, but I prefer the constant smile on your face when you were with him to these sad smiles.”
My lips press into a line. “That’s not possible.”
“Why not? You’re the one who left, so you can come back. Besides, he’s been going berserk this past week. Honestly, Vi. Kane said losing you and Preston is messing Jude up big time.”
“I’m the reason he lost Preston.”
“Oh my God. Is that why you left?”
“He was going on killing sprees again because of me.”I touch my tattoo. “I’ve seen him murderous to avenge his mother, and I know it killed something inside him. I don’t…want to be Susie Callahan 2.0. I don’t want to be the reason for his eventual decimation down the road of no return.”
“Okay, I get it. But those guys have been killing since they were young and will probably continue to do so for the rest of their lives. Do you think I like that Kane does it? Of course not. And I was a bit apprehensive at the start, but that’s just a part of who he is that I have to compromise with. Because I love him, and I know he loves me and would kill to protect me. Already has, actually. Maybe Jude feels the same. Killing to protect you could be his love language. Do you think you’ll never get past that?”
“It’s not really that.” I release a long exhale, my chest aching. “It’s that I was the reason he lost both Mario and Preston. What if next time, he’s the one getting killed?”
“Oh, Vi.” Dahlia takes my hand in hers, and I realize a tear has fallen down my cheek.
I wipe it with the back of my arm. “I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not. Your feelings are valid. But you shouldn’t feel guilty that you survived, Vi. You’ve always been a survivor and the strongest woman I know.”
“Please. That’s you.”
“No. It’syou. I had loving parents, but you didn’t, and you didn’t let that bring you down. You silently picked yourself up and moved forward. Whenever things got too hard, you didn’t just lie down and take it. You always got up and found a solution to move past the hurdle and even tried to find solutions to other people’s problems, too. You inspired me to be better and improve every day, and I’m telling you right now, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today if you weren’t in my life, Vi. The same applies to Laura andeveryone in the communities we used to live in. So don’t ever think your life is worth less than anyone else’s, or I’ll be super mad.”
I laugh to hide the tears welling in my eyes. “You made me emotional.”
“Good. You deserve a reality check.” She grins. “Also, I know the whole Armstrong thing is making you uncomfortable, but I heard Jude tell Kane he’ll never allow them to force you into the family.”
“He…did?”
“Yup. I think he even asked his dad for help.”
“Impossible. He hates his dad.”
“Well, he obviously put that hatred aside for you.” She bites her lower lip. “I really don’t want to paint him in a good light, considering the stalking and the coma, but I found out a few things from Kane yesterday. He probably wanted me to influence you to come back. No, he was clearly aiming for that.”
I sit up straighter. “What things?”
She releases a long sigh and takes a sip of her coffee. “Apparently, Jude is the one who bought you the apartment and paid for your college tuition. He asked Kane to take credit because you wouldn’t have taken them if you knew they were from him. But if they were camouflaged as something Kane did for his girlfriend’s sister, then you were more likely to accept them.”
