Page 52 of Everything But the Earl
“No. I just wanted to hear you say it.”
“You don’t want to get married.”
Anthony rubbed his face. “No. I truly do not.”
“Charlotte Rockingham is a perfectly nice girl. That story she told at dinner about the fox that got loose near Covent Garden last week was quite funny. Unlike some of your other prospects, she’s clever and has some conversational skill. She’s pretty enough. She’s not a terrible candidate for a wife.”
“Oh, not a terrible candidate? A ringing endorsement.”
“You know what I mean.”
Anthony crossed his arms. “I’m definitely not interested. And I thought if I made some kind of promise to my mother about marrying sometime in the distant future, she would leave me alone, but no. She’s like a dog with a bone.”
“So what is your strategy now? Humoring her but reporting back that every woman you meet is dull and ugly and unworthy of the Beresford title?”
That had been the strategy. “I suppose.”
“Hard to make that argument with Lady Charlotte. I found her perfectly charming.”
“ShouldIbe jealous?”
“You say that in a way that impliesIwas jealous.”
“You were. Why else would you have invited yourself to dinner and then stared at me all through the meal as if you thought to murder either me or Charlotte with just your eyes?”
Lark tutted and went about fiddling with his breeches. Anthony had already helped him out of his boots, at least. Presumably Lark could take off the rest of his clothing, but it looked like a struggle.
He stood and said, “Since you already dismissed your valet and are incapable of undressing yourself, I shall step into the role.”
“It’s not necessary.” But he lifted his arms and let Anthony help him out of his breeches and stockings.
“Doyouthink I should get married?” Anthony asked. “Because sometimes, it sounds like you do.”
“I most assuredly do not, but it seems inevitable.” Lark grunted as Anthony succeeded in getting the fastenings of his breeches undone, and now seemed disgusted with the whole thing. He stepped away from Anthony and pulled them off, grunting the whole time. “And I suppose,” he added, tossing his breeches over a chair, “I am unnerved by the fact that you and I are in love but can make no public show ofit. I hated telling you to stop coming to the club so frequently, but I worry the wrong person will find out about us.”
Anthony nodded. “There’s a vote scheduled for next week on an anti-sodomy bill. I plan to vote against it. I don’t care who knows. A man’s business should be his own.”
Lark rubbed his forehead. Anthony helped him out of what was left of his clothing and then took off his own breeches and stockings.
“But,” Anthony said, “I do agree that our lives should not be so…public. That anyone in this whole blasted city cares what either of us gets up to on our own time is the real travesty. If I could move through life without worrying about the scandal sheets, I’d be a lot happier.”
Lark pulled off his shirt. “I’d propose we move to the country to live in obscurity, but you love the city too much.”
“Too true. And I would miss my social malfeasance being reported in the papers, I admit. I suppose what I actually want is for society to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with us.”
“You’d have as much luck persuading the aristocracy to do manual labor.”
“Hmm.” Anthony took in the sight of his lover,sansclothing. They’d achieved an easy, casual regard for each other that often allowed them to justbecomfortably. But Lark really was a handsome man. His dark hair had grown a bit long lately, just enough to cover the shells of his ears, and his eyes were just as piercing as they always were, but he also had a wonderfully fit body and all that smooth, pale skin… Anthony ran his hands over Lark’s chest, his shoulders, the back of his neck, the ends of his hair. “We should go to bed.”
Lark lowered his eyelids and shot Anthony a wry look. Then he kissed Anthony, so clearly they were thinking along the same lines. Anthony smiled into the kiss, reveling in it.
The gender of one’s partner should not have signified. Anthony’s love for Lark wasn’t hurting anyone. Why should they not be able tobe together? He didn’t care about marriage. Marriage was an institution primarily meant to legitimize heirs. There would be no heirs for Anthony and Lark, so there was no need to marry. But they should be allowed to spend their lives together without familial pressure to do otherwise.
Anthony loved Lark. He parted his lips and deepened the kiss and put his arms around Lark’s shoulders to hold him there. He pressed their bodies together, loving the contours of Lark’s body against his own.
“I love you,” Anthony whispered.
“I know.” Lark sighed. “I love you, too. But this is doomed.”
