Page 12 of The Love Bully
I shifted in my seat before I picked up my drink to take a sip. We had never had an in-depth conversation like this about everything in all these years. Most of the conversations were very surface level. I said something witty, he returned with his own witty comment, then we had sex.
“Orion, I wasn’t going to blame kids for what adults consented to. They were Euri’s brothers and sister. That wouldhave been evil to treat them badly because my feelings were hurt.” I shook my head. “You know I’m not that person.”
His handsome smile took over the conversation for a beat. “You are not that person at all. You also are not a person that gets one hundred percent invested just because. Marsha, you never missed a basketball, football, or any other kind of ball game that Derrick or Aaron had and went to every mommy-daughter thing that Karla had. You were an emergency contact at their schools, love. So, yes, you didn’t have to treat them badly, but you didn’t have to do all of that either. My children are reflections of me. It was you that told me that a person couldn’t love a child of a person that they hate.”
I did tell him that, and I did believe that. I sat there in my thoughts, silently. His voice broke through them to ask me if I was tired again. His question triggered a question that he hadn’t asked but that I asked myself for years. Who was I truly mad with at this point? I forgave Orion umpteen years ago, but I just never told him that.Games, I was playing games. Self-reflection during a date is not sexy.
I started to respond, but Orion stopped me. “Marsha, love, we’re both over fifty. If you’re not going to tell me something real, then don’t say anything at all. We can just sit here, have a nice evening talking about whatever you want to talk about, then leave. So, what’s it gonna be?”
I tittered. “You are such a damn bully, Orion. I know that about you, though, and it’s actually one of the things that I love about you. We can talk about something real. I want love, I want you, but I’m scared.”
The waitress came out with our food just as my sentence concluded. She set our food in front of us and asked if we needed anything else. Once we confirmed that we were fine, she went on her way. For the rest of the main course, we talked about what was real. For the first time, which was crazy, I told Orion why Ifeared committing to him. It was one thing to say that Orion was my baby daddy and favorite dick. It was completely a different thing to say Orion was my man.
There was nothing I loved more than crème brûlée, and Orion knew it. My heart fluttered when the waitress brought it out to the table as our dessert. Our conversation was fruitful throughout dinner, but I still had a lot to think about. I had one question to ask that weighed heavily on me. “Orion, if we try this again and commit to each other, what’s going to be different? How do you know that you won’t just, um, cheat on me again and break my heart?”
Orion smiled before he reached his hand out to me. His hands squeezed mine after I placed mine in his. “What is different, not going to be different, but what is different is that I fully understand my heart. I understand what my heart needs from me to pump at its maximum strength. It’s my job to make sure my heart stays healthy and happy. Before, in my immaturity, I didn’t correlate how my actions truly impacted my heart. I took my heart for granted.
“Marsha, I didn’t realize until years later that you were my heart. It was like I was a dude that indulged in fat, greasy foods, but I thought if I just worked out every day that it would be good enough. Yeah, I found out real fast that I could still have a heart attack,” he said with a chuckle before he asked me if he made sense.
I lowered my head with a giggle. “Yes, Orion, I understand. Well, it sounds like you’ve given a lot of thought about this.” I gazed into his eyes. “I hear everything that you’re saying. Can I have a little more time to sort some things out in my heart? I want to make sure that all the gunk and bad feelings are out of it before I truly give it to you.
“Like you said earlier, we are both over fifty. Orion, I can’t afford to get this wrong.” I huffed. “My feigned anger, as you callit, has already caused me to miss out on things that I wanted and now can never have.”
His eyes softened. I didn’t have to say it because he knew. “You can have a little more time, Marsha. Love, I want to be clear on what I mean by a little more time.” When the corner of his lip turned up, I knew at that moment that we would have a very different view on what more time meant. “By the time I get my next line up, you need to have made a decision.”
He’s such a damn bully!
Smack!“Fuck, Marsha! Ride that dick just like that,” I demanded.
Yeah, my baby riding my dick in my G-Class was a good sign that our date went well. Did I take a risk breaking up her little date with ole boy? Nah, this was how it would have ended even if he gave me pushback.
Like our conversation during dinner, it was indisputable that Marsha and I loved each other. Over the years, I’d backed up a smidge to allow Marsha room to explore relationships. She either did and it wasn’t successful, to no fault of my own, kind of, or she didn’t explore. When she was fucking with a dude, I never initiated contact with her. But when she did initiate, I always responded.
The back-and-forth was entertaining for a minute, but eventually, I wanted just her and none of the games. Shit, I hadn’t fucked on anyone outside of Marsha in over two years now. The last bitch I fucked on was Lisa’s stupid ass.
One day I woke up and had a revelation that helped me get to where I was now in my mindset. I realized every woman that I fucked on, or even slightly entertained, was my way of settling. I made the decision a long time ago that I only truly wanted Marsha. There were moments when my mind told me that it wouldn’t happen, but my heart always knew that our time would come. In those times, I found a woman who was just entertaining enough to pass time. No woman deserved—or man, for that matter—to be another person’s just enough.
Marsha’s head fell back, prompting my tattooed hand to grip her neck. My eyes focused on my hand tattoo that spelled out her name before they went to her face of pure ecstasy. “Orion, you feel so damn good.”
Her eyes connected to mine when her head popped back up. I pulled her face close to mine. With my lips against hers, I said, “You’re so damn beautiful, riding my dick.”
When it was time to leave the restaurant, I wanted to trip Marsha’s ass. I asked her for her valet ticket, and she told me that she used a car service to get here.You did what?What that told me was that she planned to leave with that nigga if things went well. I would have bopped both of them in the fuckin’ head.
She licked my bottom lip seductively before she passionately kissed me. I kept my hand on her neck and used the other to play with that pussy.She loves that shit.“I’m about to cum! Orion, oh my God!”
Seconds later, my entire lap was wet. The feeling of her nut on my lap triggered my nut. My hand tightened around her neck. Marsha let another one go. The number of times that I’d gotten these seats cleaned was sad, but in a good way.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
We were in her driveway like hot in the ass teenagers. There was a forty-five thousand square-foot house less than twenty steps away from us, but here we were. We didn’t bother to go into the garage either. Mrs. Patterson, an elderly woman who lived a few houses down on the street, walked past the driveway with her little punk ass dog. Marsha had never been a quiet lover. Mrs. Patterson found that out tonight.
Marsha’s head tilted to the side. There was this unreadable expression until it wasn’t. “Yes, please come in.”
A Little Time Later . . .
“Look at this shit here. I see you in my mama’s kitchen on ya Melvin,Baby Boyshit, Pops,” Euri said from behind me. When I turned around, he stood there at the island with a scowl on his face and my grandbaby in his arms.
Yeah, I was in my woman’s house cooking her breakfast while she slept off the dick I handed out this morning. Basketball shorts was all I had on. “Shut up. Give me my grandbaby.”
