Page 22 of Bitter Desire
I lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Why not? Indulge me.”
She grinned and reached out, looping an arm around my neck as I picked her up, holding her close as I walked towards the front door. “You know what always surprises me?” she asked.
“What’s that, princess?”
“How romantic you are,” she said, looking up at me. “You’re like prince charming.”
I snorted. “I’m not the hero, princess.”
“You are to me.”
“Not a good man or a hero,” I said, though I didn’t know I was pressing this. The words weren’t for her, they were for me. Probably because I was having to look back at the man I’d been before Honey. The man that had Charlaine on speed dial, the man that had no issues with hunting down a mark and ending shit. The one that would do the same for the person scaring my girl.
I had to be that man again if I was going to keep her safe. A weekend trip to the Catskills was a quick fix, but it wasn’tthefix. That was for me to do.
“You’re my prince charming.” She shrugged and kissed my cheek, and then my chin. “That’s all that matters. Besides, I thought I told you before, I’ve got no use for a good man.”
“I’ve got no use for a good man.”
She had, weeks ago on a dark and stormy night. The first night I’d been in her apartment, the night that I’d tried to end all of this between us. I’d failed, thank god. Life without Honey wasn’t worth thinking about.
I came to the top of the stairs and pushed through the door Taylor had left slightly ajar for us. “Good or bad,” she went on, kissing me in between words, “you’re mine.”
“Always.” I turned my head, kissing her back. She was right. I was hers, all the dark and light in me, belonged to Honey. We crossed the threshold and I kicked the door closed, shutting out the world, and shutting out whatever dark I was going to have to do when we returned.
Chapter Nine
HONEY
The cabin was amazing. Okay, no, it was freaking awesome. I turned, looking at the kitchen and padded through it to the floor-to-ceiling windows at the far end. I could see a wrap-around deck there and called out to Law, “I’m going outside!”
I heard his muffled reply come from the upstairs bedroom he’d taken our things into after he’d carried me across the threshold. It’d made me think of a groom’s behavior on their wedding night, and the butterflies in my stomach had morphed into an entire damn zoo. The man had taken my breath away without even trying. Law had carried me up to the bedroom and wasted no time in disrobing us both and getting us under the warm spray of the shower. Like the rest of the cabin, the shower was luxe. The floor had been tiled with river rock, the walls made of wood, and the fancy shower head dropped down from the center of the ceiling. Law had pushed me up against the wall, my back pressed flat to it, a leg lifted and hooked around his hip while he made love to me. This was slow and sweet, Law’s hands tender on me, his mouth on mine, trailing across my neck and down my neck while he whispered my name like a prayer against my skin.
“Honey…”
The gentle shower spray falling around us made me think of a summer storm, and that had taken my mind right to the first time Law and I had been alone together. It’d been raining then, too. The man had carried me to my apartment in the rain, my body pressed close to his. His inked and calloused hands holding me to him.
I’d wanted him then, even if I hadn’t known the first thing about what wanting a man like Law meant—what being with a man like Law meant. Truthfully, I was still understanding a little more of the puzzle every day. The scope of what we were, of who we were coming out to be together, still eluded me. The Law I knew was gentle, kind, adoring and indulgent. Protective to a fault.
But he could be ruthless.
In the time that I had given myself to Law I’d heard enough stories about the shrewd, and sometimes cruel, businessman he was. I’d read enough articles to know that the stories weren’t just stories. The stories about Law, about my man, were truth.
Even if I hadn’t heard a single story, I knew the truth about Law. I could see the signs as plain as day–in the way he moved, the way he glared at anyone that came too close to us. No, not us, but me. He didn’t like it when strangers were in my space, or when they watched me for too long. That suited me fine seeing as I wasn’t a fan of it, either. Despite my mother’s best efforts I’d never taken to the spotlight. That was her indulgence, her biggest desire in life. The reason why she had never let us settle down. My mother chased attention like a starving woman in search of a table she could find a seat at. She’d forsaken everything and everyone for just the crumbs of her dreams, and that had included me.
I could understand her more now though, seeing as I had finally found my own addiction. She could have the attention of all the strangers she wanted. I only wanted the attention of one man.
Law.
I’d give anything up and turn on anyone to keep Law with me. I knew that now, and things were good. The second shit went sideways I was going to be willing to do anything and say anything to stay in Law’s world. I wouldn’t recognize the woman I’d turn into. That didn’t mean I didn’t know her. Know what she would look like, what would live inside of her and how she moved through the world. She would be desperate, feral, the sort of woman you shied away from when you saw her walking down the street. That woman would be angry and empty–she’d make sure everyone who crossed her path felt the same pain she did. I knew her, because I’d seen her before, talked to her, forced to live every day staring into eyes that wanted more at the cost of losing what precious little was at hand.
She was my mother.
I swallowed hard, fingers digging into the wood of the railing in front of me. I heard Law call out, this time clearer and closer. He must have come downstairs looking for me. I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled, chasing away the thoughts of my mother and the haunting way she moved through life. Hungry, seeking, always,alwaysseeking more.
“Out here,” I called out, not looking away from the trees in front of me. The man looking for me, the one that brought me to this cabin, wasn't going to make me turn intoher.He would never do that to me. Not me.
Lawson Sokolov didn’t give a shit about anyone. He took what he wanted, to the tune of billions. He was respected and feared in the corporate world, at least from what I could tell. For all I knew he was only feared. Tiffany hadn’t been quiet about my connection to Law, though I hadn’t found the opening to correct her that I wasn’t Law’s fiancée. For some reason, he never made an effort to stop her either. He’d only nod along and press a kiss to my hand when she made a comment about our impending nuptials.
