Page 24 of Honey, Honey
“Right, thank you for getting me home, Law. I can make it up on my own,” I told him, pointing over my shoulder with my keys.
He leaned past me and looked up the dimly lit stairwell that showed the two flights of stairs leading to my apartment. They were normally no big deal but tonight seemed darker, steeper and generally far sketchier than I remembered them ever being. Law seemed to be of the same opinion because he shook his head at me.
“I’ll walk you up. No trouble.”
“But-”
“You wanna get carried up the stairs too?” He asked me, and I knew he would do it if I pressed the issue.
“Fine, fine,” I sighed, standing back and letting him into the building. It wasn’t like I was opposed to him carrying me, but I knew it would cause quite a stir if my neighbors caught sight of it. Jesus, if Juana saw? I’d never hear the end of it with her. I could already hear her tutting and saying, “I thought it was just a friend, mija? That don’t look like no friend to me.”
That being said, it was far easier to have Law follow me up the stairs than the scene we might attract if he carried me up them. When we arrived at my door I glanced back at him to see he was peering up at the lights and rubbing his chin. He didn’t look like he liked what he was seeing in the slightest.
“What?” I asked, making sure to keep my voice down. I didn’t want to alert Juana that I had gotten home.
“Need brighter lights,” he said, but didn’t go on and instead nodded at my door. “Let’s get you inside, you’re soaked.”
“Not as bad as you,” I countered, but I did as he asked and opened the door.
“Not worried about me. I can handle it.”
I rolled my eyes at him and watched as Lawson’s eyes narrowed at the gesture, but he didn’t say anything, just followed me inside of my place. I swallowed hard and closed the door gently behind us. I was safe with Law, wasn’t I? He’d been nothing but good to me, saving my ass not once but twice in the week we’d met.
I was definitely safe with a man that carried me home in the rain. I had to be safe with one that laughed so big the sound of it lit up the sky for me.
“You’re not.”
His words, not mine, floated back to me through my foggy memory and I fidgeted as I shook out my umbrella and deposited my keys on the kitchen counter. Why had he said that? I glanced his way to see he was looking around my apartment with an assessing sweep. It wasn’t curious, but cataloguing, and I knew he was making a mental note of what he saw. Not because he was nosey but because he might need to use that knowledge later.
What the hell? I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling unsure of what to do around him.
“Thanks for walking me home.”
He nodded, hands going to his hips. “Go get changed into something warmer. I’ll wait here and then we can talk.” He took a seat at my kitchen counter and I blinked in surprise at his order, because that’s what it was. I wasn’t used to hearing anyone speak that directly to me outside of the Cairn. He was all business right now, the laughter I’d earned from him on our way back from the restaurant, the way he’d held me in that night, all of it seemed to be evaporating like steam in the sunlight. There was a wall going up around Law. I could see the bricks of it forming, one-by-one, as they fell into place. The lines of his body were growing hard, shoulders hunched, hands flat on his thighs as he sat looking like an immovable object. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the way he was looking at me. The intensity was there. The focus made me nervous but also had me drinking it up as fast as I could. When Law looked at me like this it made me feel like I had power.
Power was something that had come and gone, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand or rushing water so often that I had become conditioned to its absence. I lived my life in flux, knowing that however much power I had at the moment there would be moments when I had none at all. Lately had been a season of scarcity but all of that came to a screeching halt when Law was looking at me like this.
The man’s stare was like an overflowing floodgate let loose in the desert, and like a fool I reveled in every drop of it.
“You’re not.”
Even with as little as I knew about Law, I could tell one thing. The man didn’t lie, or use his words carelessly. He was unlike the other business men I’d waited on as a barista. The kind that came in throwing their money around and flashing their expensive watches at me when they collected their orders. The sort of man that was eager to share about their latest success when they asked for my number. No, those men were a dime a dozen in this city, actually they were probably a dime for two dozen. All of them eager to make a name and claim whatever part of the city they had managed to sink their teeth into.
I was used to those men. I could handle that sort with a practiced hand, but Law? This man was different and I wasn’t so sure I knew how different. This man’s attention came at a price. What that price was? No clue. Which meant I should not be as happy as I was to be on the receiving end. Writing checks my ass couldn’t cash. But I couldn’t help myself.
We stared at one another for a minute before I nodded. “Sure. Be right back.”
My answer had him relaxing, it was just a slight softening of his body but I would take it. Listening was a way to get him to gentle, if even just a bit. I made a note to listen to what he said, but also not to go too far. He was a man in my apartment who had told me I wasn’t safe with him, and it was in the middle of the night and I was still buzzed from dinner. I needed to be cautious, even if I wanted to throw myself at him and see what happened.
I closed my bedroom door and shook my head. “Not smart, not smart at all,” I whispered to myself. Leaping without looking was not the way to spend time with Law, especially when the talk we were about to have was about me lying to my friend about our relationship. I blushed hot, a wave of embarrassment sweeping over me that not even the drinks I’d had could beat back. I went to my closet and snatched a dry hoodie and sweatpants to change into. It wasn’t the sexiest, but it was probably my safest bet if I was going to remember to keep my distance from the man in the next room. I stripped, dressed quickly, and darted over to my mirror to dare a look at myself.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered at my reflection. Yes, I was trying to keep my libido in check, but that didn’t mean I wanted to look like this. My hair was damp from the storm, the natural curl released in a way that was wild, not styled like I normally preferred. I tried to smooth it down but it was no use, a quick ponytail was going to have to work for now. The light makeup I’d applied had completely worn off and my mascara had run slightly, smudging sooty circles beneath my eyes and making me wince. Law in all his collected perfection had seen me like this.
No wonder he’d asked how much I’d had to drink and who I was at the restaurant with. He was probably worried that I was going to do something reckless. But then again, he’d pinned me against the wall and touched me like he hadn’t wanted to stop.
“If you were, and you chose to get this drunk, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week.”
Damn that server. Why had she chosen that moment to come into the room? We’d just been getting to the good part. Although...I glanced towards the door and folded my arms over my chest. He was in my apartment now waiting for me, and that had to count for something right?
