Page 31 of Leather and Lace
Mary’s hands twisted in her skirts at the memory of Alex’s words. It was achingly similar to her father’s reassurances, and the fright she felt bubbling up in her chest was to be expected. Another gale of rain let loose on the home and the windows rattled in their frames. A glance at the windows showed little was visible beyond the panes. If Mary was unable to see, then it went without saying that Alex was blind out in the downpour. How was the other woman finding her way back? What if she were lost and--?
“Stop it,” Mary chastised herself. “This is not the time to lose your head. Stop it.” She squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled deeply. She could do this. She would stay calm and all would be well. When she felt surer of herself she made to start towards the door but stopped short when a sharp pain in her side caused her to falter. She shook her head and put a hand out against the wall with a wince at the ache. Her free hand went to her belly, there was no mistaking that the discomfort she felt must in some way be associated with the baby but how and why?
Mary took in a careful measured breath and focused on staying calm. Now was not the time for her to panic, not when Alex was still missing, and the storm raged on. She must keep a calm head and work to relax. It was then that the downpour was useful, the roar of the rain dulled her senses and she breathed deeply using it to her advantage in this moment. She bowed her head, forehead coming to rest against the wall and breathed in again and again, so focused on her breath was Mary that she missed the opening and resounding slam of the back door. It was only when she felt Alex’s hands on her shoulders that she realized her wife had returned.
“Minnie? Are you well? What is it?” Alex’s worried voice was a welcome respite from the deafening storm. “What happened?”
“Nothing, nothing, I’m fine. I promise.” Mary looked up from the wall to see her wife gazing at her with a worried expression. Her normally warm brown eyes were wide with concern as she looked Mary over. She leaned back, her eyes moving over Mary’s face and body as if she were taking stock.
“You do not look well, Minnie.”
Mary husked out a laugh and pushed away from the wall. “I am fine. It’s you that I feared for.”
Alex’s eyebrows knit together. “Me?” she asked and once more reached for Mary.
“Yes, you.”
“There was nothing to worry over, now come with me.”
“I disagree on that matter entirely,” Mary told her but she went with Alex all the same.
“And why is that?” Alex asked, guiding her towards the settee.
Mary flung an arm out towards the storm that still raged and glared at Alex. “The storm, of course! How could I not worry?”
Alex waved a hand at her. “Storms like this are normal, Minnie. It’s no reason to worry yourself, and especially not when you’re with child.” She crouched down in front of her and placed her hands on Mary’s side. “Can you breathe?”
Mary swatted at her hands. “I--yes, I’m fine.” She felt the anxiety she had been harboring that evening bubble once more to the surface and she shook her head in frustration. “I thought I could have lost you,” she told Alex, her voice cracking, and it was then the other woman looked up from her ministrations.
“Minnie? What is it?”
“You could have never returned.”
“But I did. I have. I am here now.”
“But,” Mary sucked in a deep breath, her eyes closing, hands balling into fists, “that has--sometimes people do not return.”
Alex bit her lip and went still at her wife’s words. “Who was it?” she asked, her voice gentle.
Mary blinked at her question. “Who what?” she asked looking down at her wife properly for the first time. Her memories of her father’s departure had driven her anxiety to new levels and in her state, she had looked any and everywhere other than her wife. She paused now and placed her hands on Alex’s cheeks and looked upon her until she felt the ache in her chest subside.
“Who didn’t return?” Alex asked once more. She raised her hands and placed them over Mary’s. “It was someone dear to you, I can see that now.”
Mary’s fingers tensed slightly against Alex’s cheeks and she was silent for a moment before she drew in a deep breath and answered her wife. “My father.”
“Oh Minnie. Minnie, no.” Alex moved then and took her wife in her arms, gathering her close to her and she pressed a kiss to Mary’s forehead. “No, darling, I’m so sorry. When you told me that you had lost your father, I did not assume that it was so recent. It was recent wasn’t it?”
Mary nodded; her cheek pressed to Alex’s shoulder. “Yes, he died at sea, and--and,” she faltered then, a sob she hadn’t been aware was building shook her body. “He told me that he would return and there was nothing to worry over, but that wasn’t true. It wasn’t true.”
“Minnie.”
“You said the same thing before you left and the storm, it came so suddenly, I thought anything could have happened to you.” Mary shook her head and drew back to look up at Alex. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I couldn’t even think it.”
“You’ll never lose me, Minnie. Never.”
“How can you say that? Anything can happen and--”
“Fear is no way to live, Minnie. There is nothing to fear between us, not when I love you as I do. There isn’t a moment that I don’t wish to be with you, and I will always return to you. I am yours.”
