Page 8 of Lily
You don't need him. Never did.She chanted to herself as she made quick work of conducting her sound checks, careful to keep her eyes down and on her hands, lest she get distracted by the sight of Sam joining the crowd. Trent had never made her feel what Sam did, had never even managed to see her as the stranger had. Lily was many things, and as skilled as she was at ignoring hard truths, there was no mistaking the fact that Sam had known she was lying to him.
Even now, she could feel his eyes on her, tracking her every movement, most likely making sure she didn't repeat her near-fainting spell. The weight of his gaze grounded her, the knowledge that someone was watching out for her steadied her, smoothing out the edges of her stage fright. She could scarcely believe how easily she managed to get herself ready for her performance, the minutes speeding by until she was standing in front of her mic, synth stand and computer to the side of her.
"Hi, my name is Lily Bell, and I'm going to sing for you tonight. Thanks for coming to my show."
A round of applause broke out in the room and she forced herself to stay relaxed, to let the music that was pulsing through the room take over. She had done this hundreds of times before, had loved doing this before she'd forgotten who she was. Music, singing, creating songs that spoke to others was the way to remember who she was, because that was something no one but Lily could bring back to herself.
It was the only gift made possible by her own hands, by her own voice. The thought was comforting as she sang, her voice filling the room in a way that belied her fragile confidence. Through the first song and the next, she could feel the ember of who she was growing with each minute and note, until she nearly believed she was the same woman who had done this every other night without fail.
She wasn't Lily Ortega; she was Lily Bell. Lily Bell had no concerns or fears. She did not shrink from a crowd or nearly faint before a performance. She was enigmatic. She was beautiful and strong, and she had a voice like a train that made sure everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and listened.
Or at least she did while she was singing. The last song came and went, the finishing notes lingering in the air for a beat longer before the first applause began. Clapping, whistles and whoops reached Lily as she stood on unsure feet.
She raised a hand in a wave, flashing them all a smile that wasn't as fake as it had been for Sam.
Sam.
Her eyes moved over the room as the spotlight turned off and the venue's lights came up once more. She was looking for the beautiful man who had seen through her, but her shoulders drooped when she didn't spot him in the crowd. Lily gave herself a mental shake and turned her attention back to breaking down her equipment. She had no reason for being so disappointed at not seeing Sam after her performance was done. She had just met him. They had only exchanged a handful of words, no matter the soulful looks he had given her.
He'd been kind to her, yes, but she didn't know him. He didn't know her.
Even so, knowing he hadn't stayed through her set still stung in a way that Trent's text message hadn't.
"Melodramatic," she muttered to herself, shouldering her synth machine and tucking her computer bag close to her chest. The two items were her most valuable belongings, and it wouldn't do to drop them because she was too distracted by thoughts of a beautiful stranger.
Beautiful. That one word summed up what Sam was perfectly. He was masculine in every sense of the word, but there was a tenderness that had drawn Lily in, even as she had desperately wished not to care about how good he looked in that tee that hugged him just right, or that his eyes were the exact shade of brown that made her think of warm nights spent cuddled up with someone who saw her, who cared what happened to her.
Blowing out a sigh and forcing down the exasperation she felt at herself, Lily continued on backstage until she was standing at the little bank of lockers that housed performer's belongings while they were on stage. She unlocked the locker in the back room that Jordyn had used and made quick work of packing her belongings, then she slipped on her jacket, her computer and synth safely strapped to her back, and prepared to head back out into the chilly night. She hoped it wasn't snowing yet; there had been that distinctive chill in the air that signaled winter was arriving, whether she was ready or not.
Lily would give anything not to have to walk through the snow to find a place for the night. It would already be tricky looking for a spot on the fly but not unmanageable. She opened her phone, tapping on the app that held rooms available for the night and was just beginning to scroll through them when the door to the back room opened.
Normally, Lily wouldn't have looked up, much preferring to keep to herself, keep her head down and nose out of any business that wasn't her own. The music scene in New York was small and not without a flair for the dramatic. It was best to shy away from new people until she was settled. The last thing Lily wanted, or needed, was to end up smack dab in the middle of someone else's drama.
She had quite enough of her own to last a lifetime.
"Hey, you were amazing," a voice said. Lily instantly knew who it was. She'd heard that voice once already that night, and even if she had gone a month without it, there would have been no forgetting the rich timbre that made her think of silk and cinnamon.
It was Sam.
She lifted her head then and frowned in his direction. "Thank you."
"Why are you frowning?"
"No reason," she lied and cleared her throat. It wasn't polite to frown at someone who had just complimented her. She knew better than that. "I really mean that," she told him, shifting from foot to foot, "thank you. And, ah, thank you for what you did earlier when I was a little shaky."
He lifted an eyebrow and took a step closer to her. "I thought you said you were all right."
She blushed at his recollection. "I did say that, huh?"
"You did, but we both knew it wasn't true. My question still stands. Are you all right, Lily?"
"Of course, I mean, I am now. I was just feeling a little light-headed earlier. I hadn't performed in so long, I guess I had jitters and didn't realize it."
Sam continued walking toward her the entire time she spoke, the side effect being that her words sped up faster and faster until they were practically causing her to become tongue-tied. She forced a smile, and her voice caught in her throat when she realized Sam was not just in front of her. The big man's muscular frame, the faint smell of his cologne and a smell she was sure was all Sam, spicy and masculine, was utterly her catnip when it came to what a man should smell like. It made her take a deep breath.
"Did you just smell me?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
"You smell good," she blurted out and then blushed, looking away.
