Page 108 of Plentywood
I glanced at the clock on my new microwave. Amazon delivered it the day before. I still had no idea how a company could ship an eighty-nine-dollar kitchen appliance all the way to Plentywood for that price.
“Jill suggested her famous bean casserole. It’s his favorite dish,” I answered, having noticed the time and that Bonnie and I were close to wrapping up another session. My tenth in two weeks.
“Jill is Mark’s sister, correct?” she asked, having learned my family-and-friend tree rather quickly. I’m sure she kept notes as well.
“Yes,” I replied. “She’s like having a sister of my own, too.”
“Have you told her that, Hunter?”
I hesitated to answer.Had I?“I think so,” I said. “Maybe.”
“I bet Jill would like to hear you tell her that. Confirm what she means to you. Can you do that?” she asked. I didn’t answer straight away. “I bet you can,” Bonnie answered for me.
“Still a hardass, I see,” I muttered.
“Not a hardass, Hunter. I prefer cheerleader,” she corrected. “Someone who wants the best for you and knows you have it in you. Sort of how Jill sounds when you speak about her.”
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all we can do, right?” she mused. “Now, how did lunch go with your father?”
“You don’t forget shit, lady, do you?”
“That’s why you’re paying me. So, did you tell him you remembered your childhood? Did you tell him a lot of it sucked?”
I had done just that and hearing her remind me of my homework cracked me up. “You must have kids,” I said.
“This is about you, Hunter,” she stated, as usual, revealing nothing personal about herself. “How’d your father take it?”
“Like the fucker he is,” I said, chuckling. “But he did acknowledge his treatment of me and Mom.”
“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t expect him to do that. Acknowledgement is hard for an abuser.”
“So you’re sticking to the fact that you think he’s an abuser?”
“Heisan abuser, Hunter. That’s why your mother left, remember?” she asked. “And also remember that you do not have to forgive or forget his behavior. It is perfectly okay for you to disown him,andit is perfectly okay for you to forge something new. But let me caution you. Something new means a relationship that is different from your old one.”
“He apologized too.”
Bonnie was silent for a moment, but I heard her pen scribbling notes while I waited. “And then what did you say?”
“I said nothing,” I admitted. “I was caught off guard.”
She paused again. “That is fine. But do me a favor. Acknowledge his apology and then let him know whether you can accept it. He is waiting to hear your decision, Hunter. Do not make him suffer unfairly while he does.”
“He never gave a shit about how I felt as a kid,” I angrily reminded her.
“True. You’re right. But you’re an adult now. You get to make these decisions. With or without his permission.”
“Okay,” I mumbled.
“Just a call or a stop by. That’s all you need to do. Let him know where you stand, Hunter. As an adult today. Not the child you were. And discuss where you’d like to go from here.”
“Got it.”
“I appreciate your effort, Hunter,” she said for the hundredth time in two weeks. “You’re working hard and your progress shows. I am so proud of you.”
I was getting attached to the stranger on the phone. And I hated to admit that she seemed like a mother figure to me in such a short time. But my mind also knew she was trained to be who she was. Her careful suggestions and caring ways helped me to understand ways to accept things that happened to me. I realized I was not alone.
