Page 41 of The Red Rider
I was going to say something. Just because they were fucking angels didn’t mean they could laugh at me when they felt like it. There were times when it was totally appropriate to make fun of me for something because I earned that shit, but not knowing something? That was never appropriate. I don’t give a shit if you were created fully formed by God and managed to save the world several times over.
“Okay, it’s totally not okay to laugh just because I don’t know something. You do that shit a lot, and most of the time, even if I had all my memories, I’d have no fucking way of knowing what you were about to tell me that you think is hilarious I don’t know. That’s a dick move, even for humans.”
Every angel in the room had the decency to look adequately chastised, but it was Leif who pulled me in his lap and spoke. Of course, Leif was going to be the one that tried to diffuse things when I got pissed off with them.
“We’re not trying to make fun of you, Ariel. You just fit in so well with us that it’s like you’re the fifth Horseman. We aren’t laughing because we’re making fun of you. It just hits us when you question us like this that youhaven’tbeen with us since they created us.
“It’s unfair. I know we are angels, and we are supposed to be all about our jobs. But why didn’t someone like you come along before now? It’s not just that you’re a Harbinger, and we could have used the help of one this entire time. We didn’t know we needed a tattoo artist with pink hair who could get all our personal quirks as you do.”
“We aren’t laughing at you for asking questions, Speedy. It just hits us when you do that you haven’t been with us forever, and the only thing we can do is laugh because it’s unfair. We’re constantly getting called to Earth to save it, but no one ever knows, and we never get any thanks. Why did it take the Antichrist kidnapping, raping, and killing an angel for us to find love?” Aeron said.
“We’ve spent a lot more time on Earth than a lot of angels, Ariel. I think you’ve seen by now that there’s a lot here that we love. But we’ve never beeninlove before. We avoided it because it never made sense before. It does with you, and it’s deeper than your paintings. But yeah, we think it’s unfair and can’t figure out why our father didn’t create you for us. The only thing we can do it laugh about it. But yeah, it totally feels like you’ve always been with us, and it’s fucking weird when you don’t know something,” Dice said.
“You think all of this shit hasn’t been totally weird for me? That’s why I keep asking questions and getting pissed when you laugh at me!”
“Speedy, we aren’t making fun of you for not knowing something, I swear. To answer your question, I can get an exact location on Leonard and the redneck from his satellite phone. I can hack anything given enough time, and I’ve already been watching the satellite phones Isaiah handed out. Once we make sure you’re happy again, we can go kill Leonard, Bubba, and some zombies.”
I sulked like a total teenager. I got their explanation, but it still felt like they were making fun of me.
“Killing thingswouldmake me feel better.”
Leif played with my hair.
“Do you want to go kill an extra Bubba right this minute, or did you want to talk things out?”
“I guess I get it, but I don’t feel better.”
“Let me try to explain then,” Leif said. “We were created around the same time man was kicked out of the Garden. Scientists absolutely got evolution correct, and their estimated age for the world is almost right. Seven days moved a lot different then. That should give you an idea of how old we are and how long we’ve been doing this. It should also tell you how long it’s just been the four of us.
“We’ve been stopping plagues, wars, warlords, megalomaniacs, and the Antichrist since people were grunting and living in caves. We’ve only had each other’s company that entire time. It never made sense to date a human. Angels aren’t given the knowledge of knowing where they end up when they die, and humans aren’t always honest. We never wanted to risk falling in love with someone and then having them ripped away from us when they died.”
I held my hand up.
“Hold on a minute. My dad is the fucking Antichrist, and my past isn’t exactly lily-white. I’m pretty sure I’ve hit all the major sins, whether on purpose or by accident. I didn’t technically know that guy was married at the time. If you want to get even more technical, I’ve committed murder too, though I don’t know if Heaven is going to hold it against me that everyone I’ve killed so far was a Rage Head or a rapist. Is someone going to get mad if I kill Leonard and this random Bubba? How do you know I’m not just going to end up in Hell with the rest of my family?”
Well, this conversation just took a turn for the worse. Now, I wasn’t just upset about getting laughed at. I was scared about the future of my eternal soul. I’d fucking celebrated screwing over Satan because I wasn’t thinking about what was going to happen when I finally kicked the bucket. He was probably going to take it personally I helped fuck this up for him.
They didn’t laugh this time. They all just started trying to assure me I wouldn’t all at once.
“If you don’t know where people end up, how do youknow?My heritage is pretty fucking bad, guys.”
“You forget your mother because you never met her. No one with angel blood has ever ended up there in the entire history of the worldexceptthe Antichrist and the fallen,” Aeron said.
“That doesn’t make it better, Aeron. That just means I’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of having a super bad eternity. There’s not exactly a precedent for me!”
Leif just squeezed me.
“Yes, there is. You were an innocent victim in all this. You aren’t going to Hell just because of your father and grandfather. You’ve helped save the world, Speedy. I think you’ve earned it, even without the angel blood.”
“But you don’t know for sure.”
Dice just popped his toothpick out his mouth and smirked at me.
“I’d bet every single ounce of street cred I’ve earned stealing all the bombs on it.”
Well, shit. Dice had alotof street cred all over the fucking world for that, and I knew he liked that. He had a bit of a thankless job, and he had people thanking him that respected him. He wouldn’t have said that unless he meant it.
Aeron kissed my hand.
