Page 43 of The Red Rider
“Didn’t anyone tell you zombie guts can totally ruin an engine before you decided on this whole road trip?”
“What the fuck, Leonard?” Bubba shrieked.
“It’s an agent of Satan! Kill him!”
I know this spare Bubba was supposed to be along for protection, but he was totally freaking out we just appeared in the back of his RV. He was cowering in his bucket seat and just shrieking. Leonard was trying to get his gun from him to get rid of Aeron, but Bubba wouldn’t let go.
Aeron was definitely insane, because he joined the fight for the gun. He quickly ripped it away from both of them and handed it to me like I knew how to use it and wasn’t holding Smurfette. Even with zombies, Nazis, and random Bubbas trying to kill us, I still didn’t like guns, but I definitely didn’t want Leonard to have it. I wasn’t worried about Bubba. He was now openly weeping. If my father had spare Bubbas lying around, he sure picked a bad one for wiping out Florida.
Aeron grabbed both of them by the collar and hauled them to the back of the RV. There wasn’t a ton of room back here. There were two mattresses on the floor, and the rest of the space was full of food and gas cans. I definitely didn’t want anyone shooting that gun in here with all this gas, but I had nowhere to put it since the whole interior of the RV had been gutted for this road trip.
Aeron was holding Leonard and Bubba up by their necks. I think Leonard was trying to perform an exorcism, and Bubba now had a wet spot on the front of his trousers.
“Which one did you want?” Aeron said, giving them a little shake.
“Oh, please don’t kill me!” Bubba shrieked.
“Agent of Satan, I command you to leave this host!”
Aeron just sort of heaved Leonard into the gas cans.
“That issonot how you perform an exorcism, you twit. Do you mind if I take Leonard, Speedy?”
“Only if you promise to show him exactly how wrong he was helping Isaiah. I know it’s too small in here for your wings, but improvise.”
“Oh, they can make an appearance. Can you handle Beavis?”
Bubba was in the corner, rocking himself and crying. I think he shat himself too because I could smell it over the gasoline. All of the people I’d killed so far had been armed and trying to hurt me. I knew Bubba came along to kill everyone in Florida and help kidnap me, but he wasn’t a threat right now. He’d soiled himself, and he was weeping way more than I ever did since I woke up from that coma.
I nudged Bubba with my toe, and he let out this tremendous shriek. Aeron must have gotten all wingy and glowy and dropped the bomb about Isaiah because now Leonard was blubbering and asking for forgiveness. Aeron didn’t let that go on for every long. I heard a squishing noise, and Leonard stopped talking. His head rolled straight into my foot. I kicked it away.
Aeron walked over with his bloody sword and looked down at Bubba.
“Why is this one still making that awful noise?”
“He’scrying.I’m having a hard time smashing his head in. He’s just an extra Bubba.”
Aeron stabbed him in the chest with his sword. Blood bubbled out his mouth, and he slumped over dead.
“Yeah, he’s pathetic, and he was expendable to your father, but if he was willing to come here and wipe out everyone in Florida and kidnap a girl, he’s probably gotten up to some awful shit since the apocalypse started. We can’t take those kinds of people in Florida, and we can’t exactly send him back to Isaiah. If we let him go, he’s not going to have some new lease on life because we appeared in the back of this RV.”
“Are random Bubbas the red shirts of the apocalypse? Does my father have a bunch of Bubbas to spare?”
Aeron grabbed me and kissed me.
“I love that you randomly remembered the red shirts. Are you okay going back on the top of the RV now that it’s not moving?”
I realized I couldn’t hear wailing anymore. It was totally silent inside the RV. I could still hear them over Bubba and Leonard for a little while, but I couldn’t hear a single sound anymore. I was curious about what was going on outside. I grabbed Aeron and told him I was okay with being out there now.
Leif and Dice weren’t on top of the RV anymore. Where the fuck were they? I looked around in a panic. All the Rage Heads that had been following the RV were definitely dead for good this time. Leif’s serum had not only killed them, but their bodies were slowly turning black on the ground.
“Where are they?” I demanded.
If there was ever a time for angel radio to happen, it was when Dice and Leif were missing, and corpses surrounded us.
Aeron pointed in the distance. I could see a Costco about fifty feet from the road.
“Looking for supplies. You don’t think we’re going to let this RV full of gas and food go to waste, do you?”
