Page 22 of The Red Rider
It really was. When I said it looked like a yoga studio, I meant that in the best way possible. How Dice had managed to furnish it like this during the apocalypse was terrific and I could feel the air conditioning on my face.
Dice showed me around the apartment, and I realized it was a hotel suite. Someone had set up an Indian theme hotel, but Dice had gone a few steps further and added his own decoration.
“What kind of hotel is this?” I asked as he led me through the kitchen.
“A Disney themed hotel. Different wings are different countries. A lot of my people are staying here with me. Most of the pilots who will drop the bombs are in this hotel. We repurposed Disneyworld.”
“You made Disneyworld your bomb playground?” I asked.
How fucked up was that? It was supposed to be the happiest place on Earth. Dice jumped up and offered me his elbow.
“Welcome to my playground, Speedy Gonzales.”
I felt a brief twinge. Someone on my softball team used to call me that. I never knew it was a cartoon character until they showed me a YouTube video. I didn’t exactly get to watch cartoons growing up. I wondered where my softball team was now. Were they safe in California or were any of them still alive? Would I even live through this to find that out?
Aeron and Leif got into a little shoving match over who got to take my other arm, but Leif smacked Aeron into a table and snatched up my arm. Dice just cocked an eyebrow at them.
“You’re being pretty cavalier with my shit for someone who gets mad at their stuff getting broken.”
“Payback is a bitch, isn’t it?” Leif grinned.
“One of you is going to have to swap with me later,” Aeron said.
The hotel might have power, but we still used the stairs. Dice’s hotel room was on the top floor, and there were six floors in this hotel. I knew Dice didn’t want to be seen appearing and disappearing in front of his people, so we’d have to take the stairs back up. I didn’t mind. I was feeling super out of shape. I’d woken up from that coma, then spent most of my time in San Quintin shoving my face hole with delicious Mexican food. I was finally starting to gain my weight back, but I wasn’t precisely in shortstop shape anymore.
The lobby of the hotel was something else.It had staff.They weren’t in uniform, but there were people at the front desk and the bar. They all waved at Dice when they realized he was back and seemed happy to see him. The lobby of the hotel was posh, and it looked like they made it a point to keep it clean. People were milling about, eating and drinking. They were in regular clothes, but I could tell from the way they held themselves that they were military.
The doors swung open, and we stepped outside. The hotel was actuallyinthe theme park. The hotel was still standing, but it looked like a lot of the major attractions had been totally destroyed. A lot of work had been put into clearing the rubble away, and they parked a bunch of planes in their place.
“I thought you were holed up in one of the military bases here?”
“I have apartments all over Florida, but the bombs are here. What better place to hide them? A military base is the first place anyone would look.”
“True, but I don’t like seeing this place like this.”
“It’s a travesty, to be sure, but it’s needed. We’ll rebuild after we beat your father.”
“You all seem so sure we’re going to beat him. We still have to kill the Rage Heads and get to the White House.”
They all just started laughing.
“You seemed to doubt I’d find the serums once I had your blood. You saw how fast I got that solved. Dice can get the bombs ready in that time too. And he’s been stockpiling gas for years. So have his people all over the world,” Leif said.
“Do we really want to rush the whole bomb thing?” I said. “I think Dice should take his time playing with the explosives.”
They were all laughing so hard they were wheezing, and I didn’t find the idea of blowing up the entire East Coast the least bit funny. Mostly since I wasonthe East Coast with all the bombs. I was super attached to the idea of not exploding, and I didn’t find being in the same area with all the bombs left in the United States the least bit funny.
Dice finally stopped laughing and stared at me.
“I’m an angel, Speedy. I don’t do anything so basic like accidentally exploding bombs. If a bomb explodes on my watch, it’s because I wanted it to.”
I held up my hands.
“Okay, I’m basic when I grab my pumpkin spice latte in certain shoes during the fall. Exploding Florida is so beyond basic, Dice.”
Dice held out his pinky.
“I pinky swear not to blow up Florida, Speedy.”
