Page 5 of Monster Song
“Touch me and die, phoenix.”
Kimon flopped across the foot of the bed and started rubbing my feet.
“I’m happy here until it’s my turn for big spoon.”
“Put your phoenix ego aside and come lie on my side of the bed, Demos. I won’t rip your balls off like Pavlina will.”
Demos stomped over to Tryphon’s side of the bed and crawled in.
“Keep your tentacles to yourself!”
Tryphon just scoffed.
“You wouldn’t even know what to do with one.”
Well, we were all in bed. We’d better start the television show and start rotating spoons before they broke into a fistfight.
“What are we watching?”
I expected an argument. If it was this hard getting everyone in bed without killing each other, I was sure they all had different opinions on television. I didn’t even know what kind of TV was available in the Underworld.
“The Olympians!” they all said at once.
“I thought they all cursed you or their children killed you. Why would you watch a show about them?”
Pavlina just laughed and copped a feel.
“Because it’s making fun of them. Not all the demigods impressed their parents and got invited to Olympus. They ended up here instead. Demigods will be demigods. They like attention and seek approval. Most of them are actors down here now. They have a television show where they pretend to play their parents. It’s a comedy, though.”
“We had a talent contest and got to vote on who played who,” Kimon said, giving me the best foot massage I’d ever had in my entire life. “Zeus made a lot of demigods.”
“No, Zeus was a prolific rapist,” I pointed out.
“Not in this show,” Demos said, pointing the remote at the television. “In this show, Hera creates a little cockblocking imp that ruins it whenever he tries to visit a mortal woman.”
I didn’t expect Demos to be so excited about this show. I pictured him as a live theatre kind of guy. But I wanted to watch this show since they seemed to like it.
I got comfortable and settled into Pavlina and Tryphon before we played magical spoons and had to move again.
Chapter 4
River
W
ell, fuck. I must have dozed off while we were watching television. Even I could admitThe Olympianswas a funny show. When I woke up, I was smashed between Demos and Kimon. Tryphon was lying at my feet with his tentacles intertwined up my legs and resting on my hip.
Sounds nice, right? Demos was cupping my breast, which I couldn’t say I was mad at. No, the bad part was that I was spooning Kimon, and I had my hand down the front of his trousers, cupping his balls. Oh, my Jesus, what the fuck did I do last night? Was there a secure method of hand removal that I could pretend like I didn’t have two massive balls in my hand?
I tried easing my hand out. I heard an amused rumble come from Kimon.
“You can leave that right there, baby bird.”
“Oh, my god,” I yelled, ripping my hands out his pants.
I was probably the color of an eggplant. I hadn’t known them that long, and I’d gone for the full ball grab in my sleep. Was my subconscious trying to tell me something? Demos nuzzled my neck and squeezed my breast.
“It’s just morning wood, River.”
