Page 15 of Dear Mr. Firefighter
“Awesome! I’ll see you then!” I heard the phone click and dropped mine on the table beside the bed.
I guess I might as well get a shower.
I didn’t really need a shower since I took one at the station after our last call, but I was really groggy with only four hours of sleep. Unfortunately, I knew my body—I would just stare at the ceiling if I tried to sleep again. I took a shower, made a sandwich, and drank some leftover coffee before leaving to go pick up Chloe’s letter. Even if I could have gone back to sleep, my curiosity would have compelled me to go pick it up. Luckily, traffic wasn’t that bad since the morning rush hour was over, so I made it to the matchmaking agency fairly quick.
“Good morning—again.” Grace smiled when I stepped through the door. “Oh, well I guess it’s technically past noon.”
“Yeah…” I nodded and forced a smile.
“Should I expect another letter from you soon?” Grace handed me an envelope that was identical to the first one I got from Chloe, except it had my name on it instead of Mr. Firefighter.
“Probably, unless this is one is her telling me that she hated my first letter and doesn’t want to talk to me again.” I chuckled and tucked the letter into my jacket.
“I doubt she would have bothered to write if that was the case.” Grace smiled again. “She dropped it off herself and I got the impression that she is hoping for a response.”
“I can’t wait to read it then.” I nodded and waved. “I’ll probably drop my next letter off tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.” Grace walked me to the door and closed it behind me.
I walked back to my truck and pulled out the letter. I contemplated driving home to read it, but I truly couldn’t wait. The anticipation would have forced me to try and read it while I was driving. I tore the back of the envelope open and unfolded the stationary. Her handwriting was so eloquent—much better than the chicken scratch I produced when I wrote my letter. My eyes quickly absorbed her words and by the middle of the letter, I felt my heart twisting in my chest.
Jesus Christ. Her parents really did that—at her fucking birthday party? No wonder she doesn’t believe in love…
I finished the letter and felt a mixture of sadness and anger swelling up inside me. I understood being upset because someone betrayed you, but there was a time and place for everything. Even if I was angry enough to fight someone, I wouldn’t lose my shit at my kid’s birthday party. There was no excuse for that. Her father could have at least handled the issue in private, and if he wanted to kick the guy’s ass—more power to him—but not in front of a bunch of children.
Fuck, she was Abby’s age when that happened…
I cranked up my truck and headed back home. I didn’t even bother to lock the door when I arrived. I walked straight to my bedroom, grabbed a piece of paper, and picked up a pen. My anger was starting to settle, and I kept reminding myself it happened a long time ago. Reading what happened to her just made my naturally protective nature come out, and once those emotions were flowing, it was hard to bottle them up.
Dear Chloe,
I’m really sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that at such a young age. That sounds absolutely awful. I understand that love can fizzle out in time, especially if you don’t work to keep the fire burning, but there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. Both of your parents were in the wrong, and they should have thought about how something like that would have impacted you. I understand why you’re cautious when it comes to a relationship, but I don’t think you’ve lost your ability to believe in love. I just don’t think you’ve ever seen what real love looks like. It’s certainly not easy—but nothing worth having truly is.
My hesitations don’t have a tragic origin. Truthfully, after reading what you went through, I’m asking myself if I’ve ever really analyzed my reasons. I think I’ve just allowed myself to become distracted with everything around me and sometimes it’s easier to put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
I’ve been living with my sister since I left the Navy. She offered me a place to stay and I saw that she was struggling, so I was happy to help out. Her daughter is the one who signed me up for What the Heart Wants.
I guess I’ve just let that distraction be an excuse for not moving forward with my own life. Don’t get me wrong, I love them both dearly, but I’ve let that blind me—and maybe a ten year old saw what I really needed when I couldn’t see it myself.
Hope to hear from you again soon.
-Cain
I stared at the words I wrote as the ink on the last line started to dry. It was like a part of my soul had detached from my body and put the things I was thinking into words when I didn’t know how to admit them to myself. I was allowed to find happiness of my own. Bridget and Abby would always be a part of my life, even if I pursued my own dreams. It wasn’t too late for that. If Chloe was able to push down all of the shit she went through and still hold onto a shred of hope, then I could find a way to grab onto it.
If it doesn’t work out with her, at least I’ve opened my fucking eyes. I’m going to have to give Abby a big hug when she gets home, because that kid is smarter than I am.
I decided that I didn’t want to wait until the next day to drop off my letter. It was written and ready to go, so I stuffed it in an envelope and drove back toWhat the Heart Wants. Grace was surprised to see me so soon but said she would let Chloe know the letter was there. We only had one more letter to exchange before we could meet up and have our first date. I was looking forward to that moment more than I had looked forward to anything in a long time.
I wasn’t sure if I would feel the same connection to Chloe once we met that I felt through the words she wrote, but if there was a chance—that was worth fighting for. That was worth taking a risk and letting go of my own hesitations.
I was still thinking about Chloe’s letter and the one I wrote in response when Bridget arrived home with Abby, who nearly tackled me with a hug when she walked through the door.
“Uncle Cain, you’ll never guess what happened.” She was practically trembling with excitement.
“Uh, what?” I looked at Bridget who had a slightly nervous smile on her lips.
“Jimmy Lawson asked me to be his girlfriend!” Abby grinned from ear-to-ear.
“Say what now?” I put my hand on her shoulder and tilted my head. “You are a little young to have a boyfriend.”
“Cain…” Bridget narrowed her eyes at me.
“What? She’s ten…” I looked back down at Abby. “You’re ten.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t have a boyfriend.” She put her hands on her hips and took a defiant stance.
“Maybe we should save this discussion for another time.” I nodded and forced a smile.
I’m sure she won’t even remember his name in a week anyway.
