Page 26 of Texas Splendor
His gaze told her that he didn’t believe her. “I spent five years surrounded by men, but I was alone because there was no one I cared about, no one I trusted. You don’t have to live like that, Loree. Pack up your belongings and I’ll move you to Austin—”
She jerked away from him. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because that night still lives inside me! You don’t know what I did!”
“You survived.”
Tears burned her eyes. “If only it was that simple. I’m here because I deserve to be. Call it a punishment. Call it a life sentence. Call it whatever you want. I made my decision and I’m not leaving.” The tears rolled over onto her cheeks. “Despite what you thought, I knewexactlywhat you meant when you said a person makes decisions not knowing the cost—but regardless, once you act on the decision, you still have to pay the price.” Five years ago, the price had been her dreams.
“Even if it costs you your life? Loree, your friend Dewayne was right. You didn’t know anything about me when you accepted my offer to chop your wood for a bowl of stew. I could have been intent on hurting you.”
“I took your weapons.”
He released a mirthless laugh. “You think that would have stopped me?”
“Digger would have stopped you.”
“You don’t have Digger anymore.”
She flinched at the reminder. He cursed harshly and reached for her. “Come here.”
She tried to resist, but he was insistent, drawing her into his arms and pressing her face against his chest. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, but I’m worried about you, Sugar. I don’t like the idea of you living out here alone.”
“I’ll be all right,” she assured him, even though she knew it wasn’t the absolute truth. After he left, she’d be lonelier than she’d ever been in her life.
He held her, his hands gliding up and down her back, comforting and strong, the silence broken only by the snap and crackle of the fire. It seemed an eternity passed before he finally spoke, and when he did, it was as though their argument had never taken place.
“I think we’ll be all right if we keep the fire small like this. I could go back to tearing down the barn, tossing the planks down, and you can feed them to the fire.”
Releasing her, he met her gaze. “Holler if things get out of hand.”
She nodded mutely, knowing that by working with him, she would hasten his departure. Knowing that every time she gazed into the deepest depths of a fire, she would see the blue of his eyes.
By nightfall Loree was exhausted, but she felt a measure of peace. Over half the barn was smoldering ashes.
She lay in her bed, curled beneath the covers, listening as Austin moved around in the front room. After supper, he’d dragged in the bathtub and helped her fill it with hot water. While he had tended to his horse and drenched the ashes once more, she had enjoyed the luxurious warmth of the water and pampered herself by using some French soap she’d hoarded away in her hope chest.
When she had dried off and thrown on a clean nightgown, she had opened the door to discover him sitting on the steps.
“Would you mind if I took a bath?” he’d asked quietly, and she could no more ignore that plea in his eyes imploring her to trust him than she could ignore the sun rising over the horizon.
So now he was bathing, and all she could think about was the water gliding over a chest that she had touched. She imagined him shaving, combing his hair, and slipping on his britches.
She wondered where he would bed down tonight, and continually asked herself where she wanted him to sleep. She heard several bumps followed by a scrape and knew that he was emptying the tub and taking it outside. She held her breath, waiting, listening, wondering.
The house grew silent. Rolling over, she pressed her face to the pillow in an effort to hide her disappointment. He had left her alone.
Austin walked around the house numerous times, searching for the ever elusive sleep. He knew from experience that it would be long after midnight before he’d find it.
Besides he needed to air out. Loree had used some fancy smelling bath salts, and although they smelled sweet on her, they reeked to high heaven on him. Lord, if his brothers caught a whiff of him now, he’d never hear the end of it.
That thought had him turning northwest, staring at a part of Texas that rested beyond his vision. He wondered what his brothers were doing. No doubt, whatever it was, they were doing it with their wives. He didn’t begrudge them the love they had in their lives, but he did envy that they had the joy of sleeping with a woman every night—simply sleeping with her.
He’d never slept with a woman through the night until last night. He’d found it incredibly comforting to listen to Loree’s soft even breathing once her tears had subsided.
He wished he’d never caused the tears. He looked at the silhouette of the remaining barn. At least he could repay her by taking away some of her painful memories—memories he wished she had never possessed.
