Page 96 of The Duchess in His Bed
“Hmm.” She couldn’t imagine it, but other moments sprang to mind—she shoved them aside for later consideration. “Be that as it may, I don’t want you girls to worry about your futures. My dower property in Hertfordshire will, of course, become Aiden’s as the law dictates, but we are in agreement that you girls may live there. When you are in London, you may prefer to stay with Winslow as his residence is quite roomy. Although you are always welcome to stay with us. We will be setting up a trust for each of you, and the income from my trust will be split evenly between those trusts to go toward your dowry.”
“You seem to have given this a lot of thought,” Winslow said. “Without consulting me at all.”
“I was going to come speak with you about everything this afternoon. If you are wise, you will accept my choice in husband and welcome Aiden into the family. You might even seek his advice regarding improving your financial lot in life.”
He sighed deeply. “I don’t think you truly understand what you’ll be giving up.”
“Ah, Winslow, I don’t think you truly understand all I am gaining.”
“You’ve created quite the scandal,” Kit said.
It was a lovely afternoon, spring at its height. Selena had sent a missive to the viscount asking for an audience, and he’d suggested a stroll through Hyde Park during the fashionable hour. She knew he’d done it as a way to show London she had his support. A few people they passed scowled in disapproval. Some simply looked away. While she still wore widow’s weeds, her recent actions confirmed she’d not bothered to observe the proper mourning period.
“Yes, I know, but I like to think Lushing would applaud me for rebelling a bit against Society.”
He placed his hand over hers where it rested in the crook of his elbow. “I suspect he would.”
“But it leaves me with a bit of a dilemma, and I was hoping you might be good enough to help with it.”
“Whatever you need, Selena.”
“It’s our shared plot at the cemetery, you see. I love Aiden with all my heart and want to be with him through eternity. I want to lie beside him when I sleep at night and when I drift off into my eternal sleep. I realize you might marry—”
“I’ll never marry.” His voice held such certainty.
“You need an heir.”
“Unlike Lushing, who had no one waiting in the wings, I have a brother who is next in line to inherit the title and properties. He’ll do well by them, has already married and produced a son. So if he goes before me, the line is secure.”
With his words, she was more certain than ever she had the right of things.
“In that case, perhaps you’d consider purchasing the plot next to Lushing in Abingdon Park, the one he’d designated for me. Before he died, he told me I wasn’t obligated to make use of it, but I don’t want to leave him there alone, and as the two of you were such dear friends—”
“How much?”
“I was thinking a shilling.”
He stopped walking and faced her, his eyes soft. “Selena, he paid much more for it than that.”
“I know. And perhaps I have the wrong of it, but I always felt he was happiest when you were about. As a matter of fact, it once occurred to me that if the law allowed it, he’d have preferred to have married you rather than me.”
Abruptly, he dropped his gaze and studied his boots polished to a shine. Finally he lifted his gaze to her. “He was the love of my life.”
“I’m glad, Kit, I’m glad he had you, that he knew what it was to be so loved. I cared for him, loved him even, but I was not in love with him.”
“Few among the aristocracy marry for love. He felt an obligation to his birthright to provide an heir. Having been raised in an atmosphere where duty is everything, I couldn’t fault him for his decision, even respected him more for it. Although he did worry that he’d done you a disservice.”
“Our reasons to marry all involved responsibilities. I think we made the best of it.”
“As I told you before, after you married, he was never unfaithful to you. Our relationship became one of deep abiding friendship, but nothing more. I was always grateful that you welcomed my intrusion in your life and allowed me to be part of your adventures.”
“You were never an intrusion, Kit. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for the two of you to never let the world see what you meant to each other. For a while, I kept Aiden and my love for him a secret and I’ve never known such despair. While I am certain that Society will not embrace us fully and challenges await, at least we will face them together. I’m so sorry that you and Lushing could not have had the same opportunities.”
“At least they no longer hang men who love each other, but imprisonment remains a possibility. Neither of us wanted that.”
But still they’d been enclosed by a prison of Society that never truly allowed them to be free.
“The secret of your love remains safe with me. Should anyone ask, and it’s none of their business, you were helping me out of a spot of bother by purchasing a plot that would otherwise go unused.”
