Page 139 of Broken Pieces
“All of them.” The words taste bitter, but I force myself to keep going. “The girls I’ve fucked and forgotten. The ones who don’t mean shit once I pull my jeans back up. You’re not that.”
My throat burns because she’s not some girl I found at a party. Not some name I’ll forget tomorrow.
And now she’s standing in front of me with tears in her eyes because I let my own shit fuck it up again.
I take a step closer. My lungs are on fire, voice barely scraping out.
“I woke up this morning and panicked.”
Her eyes flick to mine.
“I didn’t know what the fuck to do with the way you made me feel, Sky.”
She exhales hard. “So you left?”
I nod. “Yeah. I fucking left. Because you’re the only girl who’s ever mattered, and that scares the shit out of me.”
She doesn’t move. Just watches me as if she’s trying to figure out if I’m just another asshole with pretty words and dirty hands.
“You think I don’t care?” My voice drops to a whisper. “You think I could fuck you, touch you like that, and walk away clean?”
She stays quiet.
But I see it in her eyes. The cracks she’s trying to hold together.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first second I fucking saw you,” I admit. “You came in with your walls up and your fists ready, all that fire and scars and the shit you don’t let anyone see. And I was fucked from the start.”
She takes a deep breath, the first one since I started talking.
“I tried to fight it, Sky. Told myself you were nothing more than a distraction. A body to take the edge off, something to help me forget the shit I carry around. But after that, you looked at me, saw through all of it, saw through me. For the first time in my fucked-up life, I didn’t want to run.”
My chest rises, breath coming hard.
“I’ve never had someone give a shit whether I stayed or left.” I swallow hard. “I fucked it up, yeah. But not because you don’t mean anything. It’s because you mean too much. I don’t know how to hold something that matters without breaking it. I don’t know how to be the guy who gets to keep you.”
I shift closer, close enough to feel the heat coming off her skin.
“But, fuck, Sky, I want to be. For you, I’d try.”
I reach for her now. My hands find her waist, fingers curling into the fabric of her hoodie like I need something to hold on to.
She watches me, chest rising fast.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “For this morning. For everything.”
She blinks fast, and then she whispers, “I thought I meant nothing to you.”
My heart fucking caves.
“No,” I breathe. “Fuck, no.”
She exhales, shaky and slow. Her hands come up, fingers brushing my chest, hesitant at first, finally curling into the fabric like she needs something to anchor her.
I can’t take it anymore.
I grab her face and kiss her.
It’s not soft.
