Page 275 of Midnights
“This is a lot to take in, but you’re not alone, Rae. We’re here to help you.”
And then he does the last thing I expect. He closes the distance between us, and pulls me into a hug.
A real one.
And God help me, I hug him back.
I don't know how long I stay there, wrapped in his arms. His heartbeat is steady in my ear, and for once, that's all I care about.
And then I break. The tears hit before I can stop them, slipping past the walls I’ve spent years perfecting. I squeeze my eyes shut, furious at myself, but it doesn’t stop my chest from shaking violently. I'm just happy he's alive.
Cam doesn’t let go, he just holds me and lets me cry.
When my sobs turn into sniffles, he slowly pulls away and his hands settle on my shoulders. But I can't look at him without crying.
“Needing people doesn’t make you weak.”
I want to scoff and shove him away, but I don't have it in me. Not sure I even want to. Then he steps back, and the warmth disappears, replaced by cold air biting between us. His eyes catch mine, searching for something I'm not ready to give.
“You need to do whatever you think is best,” he says slowly. “You can leave whenever you want to. I told you that you’re free to make your own choices, and you are. But everyone needs—”
“I don’t need anyone.”
I cut him off before he can finish. Shutting that door so that he can't see me break any more than he already has.
The lie tastes bitter, but saying it feels like control. Which is something I don't have a lot of right now.
He doesn't argue. He just stands there, with an eyebrow raised, and that’s what breaks me.
I swallow hard, but it doesn’t stop the words from spilling out.
“I’m just… so tired of not knowing who the hell I am.” My voice barely scrapes above a whisper. “And what I'm supposed to be doing.” My breath shudders, and I shake my head, trying to stop the rest before it claws its way free.
“And I just accidentally struck you with lightning, Cam!”
My voice cracks again. “Fuck this.”
I clench my hands into fists at my sides. But there’s no real fight left in them.
I know it and he knows it.
“And on top of it all…” My voice climbs as all that frustration digs its claws in. Because if there's one thing I can control, it's being pissed off.
“You tell me that you’re here for me and that I’m not alone, but you’re avoiding my questions. You’re keeping secrets. Don’t insult me.”
Silence.
His expression falters, just for a second, but it's there.
I don’t give him the chance to respond before I turn on my heel and storm off.
The momentum of my anger is the only thing keeping me together. The only thing that’s keeping my walls up. Because if I stop moving, if I stop pretending I have any control over what's happening, I might just break. And I don’t want to be near anyone when that happens.
Cam says something behind me, but it’s muffled. I don’t know when it happens, but all I hear is ringing in my ears. My body's still vibrating with unchecked energy, and all I know is that I need to get the hell away from him before I lose control again and hurt him for real this time.
Then, out of nowhere, ice cold water slams into me.
Shock explodes through every nerve in my body as my breath is ripped from my lungs. My muscles lock up as the freezing sensation shreds through me like a blade.
