Page 273 of Midnights
The wind howls and the sky booms with a deafening crack of thunder, but I barely hear it.
If all those witches died because I’m thewitchhe thinks I am…
My vision blurs at the edges and my entire body buzzes with unspent energy. I feel rage, grief, and power I can't burn through.
I feel it slip away, and it's gone before I can catch it. The connection's gone, but the storm stays—and now it isn't mine anymore.
Exhaustion slams into me, dragging at my limbs like dead weight. My legs wobble, and I have to force myself to stay upright.
“What if it’s me?” The words rip out of me as frustration claws up my chest. I clench my hands into fists so I can feel my nails biting into my palms, but it does nothing to stop the bitter weight of failure sinking deep into my bones.
Above us, the storm grows into something chaotic and uncontrolled, just like me.
“Raven, one step at a time.”
Cam steps closer like he’s speaking to a wild animal that might bolt. “You’ve only been doing this for a few weeks. You’re not going to be perfect right away. It takes time to learn how to control.”
I look at him trying to shove down the irritation in my chest. His words take the edge off, but not nearly enough.
“Yeah, well,maybeif my family didn't feel the need to keep me in the dark, I’d actually know what the hell I was doing.” I snap.
But I don’t want to stop. I want to be angry.
The wind picks up, whipping my hair around my face, but I barely register it. The only thing I can hear is the whisper again.
Fight.
“Maybe we wouldn't be out here in the middle of fuckingnowhere, and you wouldn't have to be mybabysitter.”
I know things are getting out of control, I can feel it. All the feelings I’ve kept bottled up are starting to bubble to the surface. I know if I don’t push them back down, I won’t be able to put the lid back on.
“Besides, not all of us get to grow up in a castle with parents who actually taught them things.” The bitterness scrapes against my throat, but I can’t stop. “You’re just like everyone else here. You probably had magic tutors. I bet you even got to go toHogwarts. Lucky you.”
Cam raises his eyebrow, but he doesn’t flinch. He doesn't take the bait and react the way I want him to. If anything, he looksamused.
“Feel better now?” His voice is infuriatingly calm, carrying the barest hint of challenge and I glare at him.
“No, actually, I don’t.”
The wind rips around us, tugging at my clothes. The storm's still raging, but I’m too caught up in my own to care.
“Good. Let it out. All of it. Because holding it in isn’t doing you any favors, Rae. You keep pushing all this shit down and it’s going to consume you.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. I can’t help it. The wind is so loud we're practically yelling at each other. “Oh, yeah, great advice. Just throw a tantrum, that’ll definitely fix everything. Is that the advice you give the king too?
The corners of his mouth twitch like he’s fighting a smile, which only makes me more mad. “It's not about throwing a tantrum.” His voice is annoyingly patient, and I want to punch him. “It’s about actually acknowledging what you’re feeling, and not letting it control you.”
He gestures upward. “Right now, you’re not in control...”
I follow his gaze…no shit.
The sky is black now, and the thunder rolls like the growl of some ancient beast. The wind howls, clawing at my skin, my hair, my clothes, and the air vibrates with raw electricity. I can feel it pressing against my ribs, and curling through my veins. I can feel it, but I can’t reach it.
“Maybe if anyone bothered to tell me about any of this before now, I wouldn’t be standing here struggling to figure it out alone!”
My voice cracks at the end, betraying the exhaustion, the confusion, and the weight of everything unraveling too fast. I don’t even realize I’m crying until a drop of rain hits my cheek.
The air tightens right before lightning strikes.
