Page 271 of Midnights
I see the way they trade looks when they think I’m not watching. The conversations that die the second I step into a room. Even Elle, who usually blurts out whatever pops into her head, has started filtering herself around me.
They think I don’t notice. But I do.
Chapter 46
You’re Kidding Right?
Raven
“Are you ready to get started? We’re heading outside today.” Cam strolls into his office, setting down a stack of papers.
I take a deep breath. “Yeah. Let's do it.”
Sunlight filters through the canopy in gold streaks and the breeze smells like wildflowers and pine. It would be grounding if my nerves weren't already sparking like I stuck a finger in a socket.
We step into the open space at the edge of the trees, and Cam stops, turning to face me. “I want you to try to create a storm.”
I blink at him like he's lost his mind. “What?”
“You heard me.”
A breathless laugh escapes before I can stop it. “Cam, I can't.” I shake my head, I haven’t been able to do much of anything since the last incident in his office, when I broke all the windows.
“You’ve got to be kidding. I can’t just…summon a storm.”
He tilts his head, completely unfazed. “Of course you can,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve done it before, whether you meant to or not. Now, I want you to focus. Totry.”
My jaw tightens as I exhale through my nose, trying to stay calm. “That was different. I wasn’t trying before. It just happened.”
“And now I’m asking you to stop waiting for it to happen and own it.” His voice doesn’t waver, and the look in his eyes tells me he isn’t going to back down without a fight. “You control your magic, Raven. Not the other way around. But you need tobelievethat.”
I huff, rubbing my hands together, feeling the familiar prickle of energy just under my skin. “Fine.”
I close my eyes and do what I've been doing for weeks. Focus inward. I bring my attention to my hands, where the buzz hums like an unspokenpromise, waiting. I coax it forward, imagining it spreading through my body like ripples across water.
The tingling crawls up my arms, and spreads down to the tips of my toes.
But the harder I try to grab onto it, the more slippery it becomes. Frustration coils in my chest, winding itself around my ribs, as it tightens with every passing second.
The thread of energy I was holding onto slips away, dissolving into nothing. I open my eyes and I let out a sharp, irritated huff.
“See, I can’t.” My voice is tight with frustration, and I feel like I'm about to cry. “It’s not working.”
Cam closes the distance between us, making it impossible to ignore him. “Take a breath,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck like he's got all the patience in the world. “You’re overthinking it. Stop forcing it, Rae. Magic doesn’t work like that. Let it come to you. You have to trust yourself.”
His tone is exactly how I feel. He sounds frustrated with me, and honestly? I’m frustrated with myself. He makes it sound so easy.
“Easy for you to say.” I shake out my hands, rolling my shoulders to release some of the tension curling through me.
Frustration crawls under my skin, itching to get out. I force my eyes shut, like that's suddenly going to fix anything. Cam, the clearing, the doubt—I try to block it all.
I think about the storm—the thunder, the sharp crack of lightning tearing the air, the weight of the clouds heavy with power. I picture that energy flooding my veins, building in my chest, begging to be set loose. I breathe in slow and sink into it, letting it swallow me whole.
It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, the energy practically shoving me forward. I can feel the air shift as the wind starts teasing at my hair. My chest tightens, and my focus narrows as the pressure builds.
And then it slams into me—a rush that feels nothing like the flickers I've felt before.
This is raw.
