Page 242 of Midnights
“Kane never mentioned having a dog.” The dagger bites against my palm as I tighten my grip. "Aren’t you a surprise.” The dog stares back, no collar or obvious tags. Just shadow and a gaze that feels far too curious.
I decide to get closer. Because obviously, that’s what a sane person would do. “Hey there,” I call softly, stepping carefully into the trees, hoping it doesn’t run.
The deeper I go, the quieter everything gets.
“It’s okay, I just want to pet you,” I whisper. “Come on, little shadow dog. Do you have a name?”
A soft laugh escapes me, and I shake my head. I must look like a crazy person. Here I am, with a knife in my hand, trudging through the woods to follow a random dog.Snow White’s got nothing on me.
The dog stays just out of reach, weaving through the trees, and every time I think I’m getting closer, it slips further away. Part of me wonders if this is a terrible idea, but that’s future-me’s problem.
My foot snags on something, and I stumble, catching myself against the bark of a tree. I look down, expecting to see something big like a root, or a rock. Instead all I see is a stick.
“A stick? Really?” I mutter, shaking my head. “Startled by a twig. Truly, I’ve outdone myself.”
When I look back up, the dog is gone, melted into the shadows without a trace. Typical.
Leaning back against the tree, I let out a long sigh, closing my eyes. The dagger is still warm in my hand, and I can feel the heat pulsing against my skin. It’s unsettling, but there’s a comfort in it too, making me feel like I’m not completely powerless.
Right now, I know with one hundred percent certainty that I’m being watched. I can feel it. I know if I look around, I won't see anything, but I know something is out there. My breathing picks up and the unease crawls over my skin, sinking deeper into my bones.Please let it just be the dog.
The cool dirt beneath me should ground me, but instead, it amplifies everything. The heavy silence presses in and it’s suffocating. I sit back againstthe tree, feeling the weight of everything pressing down, and suddenly all I want to do is cry. The envelope. The attacks. The fragments of memories that I keep having that refuse to fit together.
I thought I was fine. I thought I could live without knowing the truth. But now? Now it’s all I can think about. The need to understand my past, my family, my place in all of this. The not knowing of it all, is clawing at me, making me feel like I'm losing my shit.
“Get it together, Raven.” The words are loud and jagged in the silence. “We’re not doing this pity party bullshit.”
Sitting here like this is pathetic. I'm acting like I’m waiting for someone else to save me. Screw that. If I’ve learned one thing in my life, it’s that no one’s coming, and I sure as hell can’t afford to fall apart now.
I can feel the tears at the corners of my eyes, and I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, determined not to let them fall.I’m fine.
But the words feel hollow.
My breath comes faster, like I’m trying to outrun something, but it's demanding to be felt, no matter how hard I try to shove them down.
I press my forehead to my knees as my thoughts drift to my grandparents. Their faces flash through my memory and they feel warm and achingly out of reach. A pang of regret grips my chest with all the questions I never asked, and all the moments I took for granted, assuming there would always be more time.
“What am I missing?” I whisper, a desperate plea to the universe. “I just want to know who I am.”
The words hang in the air, swallowed by the stillness of the woods. I hate feeling like this. I feel like a stranger in my own skin.
I close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe. In. Out. I focus on the way the dagger feels solid and real in my hands. It's a reminder that I can’t let myself drown in thewhat-ifs.Not tonight.
When I finally open my eyes, I look around, really taking in my surroundings. I can see the moonlight through the trees, casting shadows that dance on the ground, and I can hear crickets singing in the breeze.
I push off the tree and stand up, brushing myself off. “Okay, time to head back before I completely lose it out here.”
A sharpcrackshatters the silence. A twig snaps somewhere in the distance and I freeze, tightening my grip on the dagger. Adrenaline floods my senses and the air feels cooler, the shadows look darker, and every sound feels amplified.
I scan the darkness as every muscle in my body coils, ready to snap. I don’t know what I'm preparing for, but whatever it is, I’m ready.I hope.
A figure steps out of the shadows and my eyes narrow, locking onto the silhouette. For a heartbeat, relief flickers in my chest. Took him long enough.
I take a step forward, feeling the edges of a smile starting to form, but my smile drops.
It’s not Kane.
Chapter 41
