Page 66 of Changelings
Neomi continued to cry, her shoulders shaking. Surprised by the outpouring of emotion, she turned to Balar in the kitchen to ask, “Could we have a moment?”
“Of course. Let me just put this away to prove.”
As Imogen stroked her sister’s hair, Balar went about covering the dough and putting it away. He wiped his hands, stopped to kiss the top of her head, and then pushed Akila and Kiri out the front door before him, closing it behind them.
Alone in the cottage, Imogen waited for Neomi to find her words.
“I’m sorry,” Neomi finally sniffed. “I was just soworriedand I…” Straightening, she smoothed out the wrinkles she’d made in the blanket. “This is a fine thing. Is it new?”
Imogen blushed. “Balar gave it to me.” It’d quickly become her favorite. Soft and luxurious, she sat in the armchair during the day with it on her lap and slept in bed with it at night.
Neomi smiled through her tears. “He’s good to you?”
“Very good.” Imogen couldn’t help a rueful smile. “He’s far more patient than I am.”
“Good. You deserve someone like that, someone kind and patient.” Neomi squeezed her hands. “That’s what I should’ve been to you. I’m so sorry—I’ve donenothingbut regret what I said to you. And when you didn’t come back for days and days, I thought…” Neomi shook her head. “When Akila came and told me what’d happened, I was frightened to death for you. I’m sorryI haven’t come sooner; I came assoonas I could.”
Imogen nodded along, deciding to take the apology that was there. She could quibble about why Neomi hadn’t come herself if she felt so badly. She could wonder what kept her for several days even after hearing the news.
But Imogen didn’t. There were things she didn’t know about Neomi, things that had long troubled her, it seemed.
She thought it was time they made things right.
“About what you said…” Imogen squeezed Neomi’s hands. “Will you tell me more?”
Neomi’s inhale was shaky and wet, and for a moment, Imogen didn’t think she’d admit much. However, after another breath, Neomi began to explain. Her words came haltingly at first, as if she didn’t dare speak too loudly of it.
She told Imogen of how, despite years of being married and sharing a bed, she and Collin hadn’t successfully had a child. Not for lack of wanting or trying, but year after year, it just didn’t happen. The most that had ever happened was a brief pregnancy that lasted only two months. After that, she and Collin had hardly touched or spoken for half a year.
Neomi assured her that Collin was a good man. That things were better now, they were trying again. That they loved each other, touched each other.
But Imogen wasn’t sure she believed it. And not just because of her low opinion of Collin. She didn’t believe it because of how Neomi spoke of Collin’s family, his mother Ada especially. Ada wanted a grandchild. She had other children of her own who could provide her with them, but Collin was her eldest, special. Every chance she got, she was asking Neomi about their tactics, pushing foul-tasting remedies on her, and giving her more and more outlandish advice.
Every time her courses came, Neomi despaired. Ada would hate her that much more. Collin would surely come to resenther, if he didn’t already.
“I’m sorry, Neomi. I didn’t know.” Her sister’s struggles didn’t minimize Imogen’s own, nor excuse Neomi’s hurtful words, but they did help her understand. For so long, she’d thought everything was perfect for Neomi. It was an easy dichotomy to make—Imogen, the blemished, outcast sister and Neomi, the beautiful, beloved sister. The role of the outcast, the unloved, was easy to inhabit for Imogen. It’d become comfortable.
But it also became confining.
Imogen wasn’t a victim and she wasn’t…unloved.
Her parents loved her. Neomi loved her. Her animals loved her.
Balar…
“I didn’t want to say anything,” said Neomi. “It’smyburden.”
“Burdens are lighter when you share them,” Imogen said.
“You sound like mama.”
“Well, she was usually right.”
Neomi sighed. “But you alwaysfeeleverything so keenly. I didn’t want to trouble you. And you already dislike Collin—I don’t want there to be bad feeling between you.”
“I’m your elder sister. It’s my duty to look out for you.”
“And that’s why I didn’t say.” Neomi smiled sadly. “Youshouldn’thave to protect me. Especially not from my own husband. I’m a grown woman.”
