Page 48 of When He Was a Duke
“Who are you really, Sebastian?” The question was soft, but it hit him like a blow to the chin. “Because a simple gardener doesn’t thinklike that. Doesn’t act like that.”
His throat felt tight. “I am someone who believes in protecting people who can’t protect themselves.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer I can give you right now.”
“Why?” Her green eyes searched his face. “What are you hiding?”
Everything.“It is complicated.”
“More complicated than discovering your father is a criminal who’s been lying to you your entire life?”
Sebastian winced. “Lady Rose, I promise you, someday I’ll explain everything. But right now I can’t.”
“Right now you need me to trust you even though you won’t trust me.” Her voice was flat, resigned.
“It’s not about trust.”
“Then what is it about?”
He wanted to tell her. The words were right there, pressing against his teeth.I’m here because I think your father ruined our family. Because I need to prove it. Because everything I’ve done, every kindness I’ve shown you, has been in service of that goal.
But looking at her now—broken and confused and desperately trying to piece together the truth of her own life—he couldn’t do it. Not yet.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know that’s not enough, but it’s the best I can do right now.”
“No, it is not enough.” She was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “But you did risk yourself for me today. That has to count for something.”
They sat in silence, the weight of everything unsaid a barrier between them.
“There’s something else,” Rose said finally. “Something that happened last night, after Arabella told me about Father.”
“What?”
“I heard a voice in my head. My mother’s voice.” She spokecarefully, as if testing the words. “She said, ‘I know what you’ve done.’ But it felt like a memory. Something I’d heard before.”
Sebastian’s heart stopped. “When? When do you think you heard it?”
“I don’t know. But she sounded frightened when she said it.” Rose’s voice dropped to a whisper. “What if she discovered the truth about his business and confronted her? What if he was the one who…hurt her. It’s too awful to think about. Yet, I must consider it.”
What if she saw him kill her?Sebastian thought, his pulse hammering. “Do you remember anything else? From around that time?”
“I have nightmares sometimes.” Rose played with the ribbons of her bonnet, staring just beyond him. “I’m standing in a doorway, watching my mother by a window. But when she turns around, her face is destroyed. Blood everywhere. And she tells me to run, but her voice is wrong. Like something evil is speaking through her.”
The description sent ice through Sebastian’s veins. “How long have you had these dreams?”
“Always. Since I was small.” She looked at him with haunted eyes. “You think it means something, don’t you? You think I might have seen something?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian said carefully. “But trauma can make children forget things. Protect themselves by burying memories that are too painful.”
“Or maybe I’m just imagining things. Maybe my mind is creating connections that aren’t there.”
“Maybe.” But Sebastian didn’t think so. Not with the fear in her voice, the precision of those details.
Rose was quiet for a long moment before she said, “I’m scared, Sebastian. Not just of White, but of my father. What if he thinks I know something?” She shuddered. “He and Mrs. Blackwell have said they will have me committed if I don’t marry White. What if he thinks I remember and decides to commit me or worse?”
Sebastian wanted to pull her into his arms, to promise her that he’d keep her safe, that he’d find the truth and make her father pay for everything he’d done. But he couldn’t do any of those things without revealing why he was really there.
