Page 77 of Her Big Bad Wolf
“I don’t even know what the hell he does,” I admitted, throwing my hands up in frustration.
“You really need to sit down and talk with him.”
“I can’t. He drew his line in the sand and I’m not willing to cross it. At this point, the less I know about him, the better.”
But that wasn’t true, because I already knew everything I needed to know about him as a person. It was in his actions, not his words.
“How’s he doing with the boys?” she asked, changing subjects abruptly.
I sighed. “Amazing. He is so good with them, Kelsey. I was honestly beginning to think we just keep them and I’d have this perfect little family I’ve always dreamed of.”
She laughed. “No family is perfect, Vanessa.”
“I know that, but perfect for me. I love those boys.”
“All four of them?”
“Yeah. No wait. There’s only three of them.”
“Sure,” she said with a sarcastic smirk.
“What am I supposed to do, Kelsey? He isolates himself and then huffs and puffs and pushes everyone away.”
“He’s been alone for a long time, and he carries a lot of guilt and anger unnecessarily. You and the boys have come in and shattered every wall he’s built. He’s going to be a bit resistant to that. Anyone would. The question you have to askyourself is whether or not you have the patience and desire to see this through.”
It was a lot to think about. Did I want this kind of life?
“What if he never changes?” I blurted out.
“Our role as mates isn’t to change them. It’s to better them and them us. It can’t be a one-sided deal. The decisions you each make have to be acceptable to both of you, but being mated isn’t easy. You know Kyle isn’t perfect. And neither is Isaac. He’s stubborn, prideful, arrogant, and defensive. But you’ve already seen past that or you wouldn’t be so miserable right now. He doesn’t have to be perfect and your relationship doesn’t have to be picturesque. It just has to be what you can live with. So what are you willing to compromise on and what are you willing to lose? That’s what you really need to consider.”
“But I can’t be the only one compromising on this.”
“You’re right. It has to be both of you coming together. And if you really decide you want out and reject him as a mate, then Kyle and I will find a way to help you do that. We’re here for you, both of you.”
I scoffed. “How can I reject him? He doesn’t even exist, remember?”
She laughed. “True, but try explaining that to your wolf.”
“I hate when he says that. Of course he exists. If he didn’t then it would mean I’ve truly gone insane and should be locked away.”
She gave me a sympathetic look. “He lives his life as a ghost, though he’s not actually one. We all know that. To the human world he literally does not exist. There is no paper trail of him. Even his birth certificate has been wiped. His money is funneled through so many accounts all over the world that only he knows how to access it and he’s made certain that it is virtually untraceable. The Wyman’s still mourn him, not just their son, but him. They have no idea he’s living here in Pack andhe’s said before that it’s better that way. Of course, Kyle and I don’t agree with that, but we have respected his wishes. Believe it or not, he does a lot of good for the Pack even if he claims he doesn’t want any part of it.”
“He does? Like that?”
“Girl, that man is a financial genius and a major tech guru. He’s like the whole entity behind Westin Foundation finding legal, well, mostly, ways to filter and grow our money. He’s the reason we can afford to pay ridiculously high stipends and fund your school with Pack money. I’m only telling you this because he’s your mate. But girl, he is super smart and calculating, not to mention easy on the eyes, but you already know that.”
I blushed. He was definitely easy on the eyes, and the most handsome man I’d ever met. Images popped into my mind of him looming above me making me feel as though he were staring directly into my soul.
He made me feel safe to just be myself, like that was more than enough. I wanted to feel the same way about him, but that whole ‘I don’t exist’ thing wasn’t something I could get behind. I wanted to, but I needed him to at least meet me in the middle.
I was more than fine with a quiet life out on the farm. I loved the idea of it even. But I didn’t want to lie to everyone I cared about or pretend I wasn’t mated.
“This week we started work on the pre-K spring showcase. Cam is so excited about it. I’m not saying we can just keep the boys, but for now they are living with him. Can you imagine his disappointment if Isaac doesn’t show up to support him? I think about stuff like that because if we were to be blessed with a child, then he or she would have to go through that, too. I don’t want my kids life filled with disappointment. I deal with that every year as I cradle kids whose parents didn’t show up when everyone else’s did. I don’t want that for my kid’s future.I’m not even just talking about a hypothetical kid, because I know Cameron will be disappointed if Isaac doesn’t show up to the showcase. And I’m going to be the one stuck cradling him while he cries as I try to explain why Isaac isn’t there.”
She squeezed me again. “I know how hard this is on you. I’m on your side. Whatever you decide, I’ll respect and help you. As long as you haven’t done anything to encourage the bond, then breaking it shouldn’t be too bad, I think. I don’t actually know anyone who has successfully broken it. In the end, true mate bonds always seem to find a way to succeed.”
I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat.
