Page 58 of Gemini
“Yeah, a lot of our stuff was stored away. I didn’t know how long we’d be in the church if we would have to move constantly or not. Or if we would make it back alive from Severfalls. Everything was pretty uncertain there for a while. Now that we’re here to stay…”
“Makes sense,” I said. “You must bring friends up here often to show it off.”
“Not really.”
“Afraid they’ll judge you?”
“Yes.”
I thought for a moment, then said, “So you’ve never shown anyone, not even dates?”
He smirked, glancing at me. “Dom’s seen it obviously. A couple of guys who are into it like me have. But, no girls.”
“Except me.”
“That’s right.”
“Good thing I didn’t think it was lame.”
“Yeah, it would have hurt like a bitch but I was willing to take the risk.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I felt a lot of things but was too afraid to analyze them in the moment.
I asked for the joint again and took one last puff. “Alright, since you’ve graced me with this amazing honor, you have to show me your favorite series. It’s only right.” I said, passing back the joint and trying to stifle my cough. “And then I’ll really judge you.”
He laughed and set the joint aside. He got up and went to his shelves and started pulling. While I sifted through his favorites, he put on a movie in the background for us to watch. I realized it was Carrie.
“There was a rumor I was going to get drenched in blood for my first win as homecoming queen, but I told them it wouldn’t faze me,” I remarked.
“Your first time? How many times did you win?”
“Twice. Would have been three if not for that bitch Riana whose daddy paid off for the football team’s new jerseys. My sister won twice and I was hoping to beat her.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised. You would’ve had my vote if I had ever gone to high school.”
For some reason that statement hit me hard, reminding me again of the reality of his childhood. I could see it now if he had. He might have been on the football team too, with his size. Or maybe he would have been a loner like his brother. The bad boy loner all the girls wanted to be around.
And I would have wanted his attention too. I would have convinced him to go on a date, saying something stupid like he’dbe so popular if he dated the sweet homecoming queen. Just think of all the heads we’d turn.
But high school was long gone, and college was over, and those felt like little girl fantasies. Because Lez’s world was no fairytale. It was dark, darker than some of the comics sitting in my lap. His world would chew me up and spit me out. It already had done a number on me.
Still, I was drawn to it, even if I shouldn’t be. The club, the gang, the feeling of family we had down in the church. Something about it felt real in a way that my safe little world didn’t. It wasn’t just the danger but the freedom. To have this space and not care who judged you or not. To have people who really saw you and cared about you, flaws and all.
The twins had that, I realized. They didn’t need to play a role in society. They didn’t need to play by its rules. They’d gone through so much trauma they were free of all that. And in a way, that made them better.
As Leslie picked up one of his books and explained the story with that happy boyish look on his face, I watched him and I felt that swirl of emotions again, feeling like he was so much more than I could ever be, for bad or good. I closed my eyes, just listening and hearing the excitement in his voice and from the beer and the weed I started to drift off. My head somehow found his shoulder, and I think I might have mumbled something like, “Keep going, I like listening.”
But eventually he stopped and shifted me to lay on his lap, and I was too tired to protest. Maybe I had been dreaming but I swore I felt his fingers in my hair, felt his mouth press against my head before whispering something I couldn’t hear. Then his arm wrapped around me, and he held me there for a long time.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I woke up to the sound of a car horn blasting outside. My eyes half-opened, blurry with sleep, and I blinked from the little light coming through the kitchen window. Groaning, I turned away, feeling the firm couch pillow against my face, smelling a hint of Leslie. Curled up with a blanket draped over me, I laid there, my mind returning to last night. Judging by how quiet it was, Leslie must be somewhere sleeping. I remembered in the early morning waking up and feeling his warmth against me, his heavy hand on my side. I couldn’t guess how long he’d stayed after I fell asleep.
Feeling groggy, I slowly sat up, looking around the semi-dark room. The fuzzy beginnings of a headache stirred between my eyes and my mouth felt like cotton. Before I tried to force myself up to get a drink from the kitchen, I noticed a note next to me, sitting on top of the blanket.
Food in the fridge. Come find me when you’re ready.
I folded the note and set it aside. Getting up, I flinched, hissing in pain. I should’ve taken it easier yesterday.
