Page 44 of House of Blood and Roses: Vol. 1
"Careful how?" I ask.
She gives me a sad smile. "Don't fall in love, Beatrice. And I'm not saying that because I don't want you to be happy, I couldn't care less either way about that. But being in love can be dangerous."
"I'm not trying to get my heart broken."
For a moment, I think she's going to laugh, but her eyes are full of sadness. "It's not your friend you need to worry about breaking your heart," she counters. "If you're lucky, he won't do that."
"Then what do you mean?"
"Court is ruthless," she reminds me. "If you fall in love, you'll be lucky if your only heartbreak is the two of you being married off to other people. If you're unlucky, you'll find yourself married to each other."
"I'd have thought that would be a good thing." I try not to let my mind stray to Linc too much while she's talking. We're just friends, there's no risk of us falling in love.
Except that I can't get past how good it felt to have my hand in his.
"Trust me, Beatrice, don't love your husband. Whoever he is, it's best to be indifferent to him." Bella's voice cracks as she says it.
"What happened to your first husband?" I ask quietly.
I don't think I've ever seen Bella look as broken as she does now. "I'd rather not talk about it," she says. "Just, learn from me. Please. If this friend of yours is more of a friend, then make sure it's not someone who can be used against you. Keep what you have to yourselves and treasure it for what it is. But don't let yourself feel things."
"So I'm just supposed to switch off my emotions?"
"I thought you said he was just a friend?"
"He is just a friend," I say firmly, but from her face, she doesn't believe me.
Bella gets to her feet and gives me a sad smile. "I'd stop lying to yourself, if I were you. No one uses the phrase he's just a friend so much about someone who is actually just a friend."
I open my mouth to respond, but can't think of anything to say.
"Be careful, Beatrice. Bastian is going to be the least of your problems if anyone finds out about this."
"You mean Lord Fallmartin?"
"Hardly. If he can use it to his advantage, he will. If he can't, then he won't care so long as you're not causing a scandal. Uncle Gerard is ruthless but not wasteful. It's everyone else you should be more careful of. Including your future husband. He's not going to want any whispers going around, especially if you get pregnant."
"Got it," I murmur, trying not to think too hard about that. I don't particularly want to marry someone I don't know, nor do I want to have a baby with them, though I know at least one of those is going to be in my future.
Bella doesn't wait for me to say anything else and leaves the room.
I lean back in my seat and let out a sigh.
Pip pushes her head under my hand, either to demand scratches or to offer me comfort. Now she's had her food, I know she isn't begging.
I look at her and manage a sad smile. "You have it easy here."
Her tail thumps against the floor, and her tongue hangs out happily.
Despite all of the strange feelings and emotions swirling within me after everything Bella said, I feel a surge of affection towards my dog. Having Pip with me makes everything better. It's unfortunate that I can't take her to etiquette lessons with me.
SIX
I follow Lord Fallmartin into the ballroom along with Bastian and my cousins. Knowing there isn't going to be a Feast when I head inside makes attending a ball a little bit more exciting, even if there's a part of me that wants to sneak off to the library with Linc despite it not being necessary.
I suppose it's because when I dance with any of the other men, I'm going to be wondering if they're the person Lord Fallmartin has in mind to be my husband.
Eliza is immediately asked to dance, and from the expression on her face, I suspect it's by her future husband. I hate how much it already seems to be part of what's expected of me.
