Page 42 of The Perfect Spiral
I sink down to the floor, crying into my knees. I feel so dirty.
I was hyperventilating hard, I knew there would be a panic attack somewhere along the line. I can feel it.
He seemed so nice and charming. Why did it have to be me? I know nothing happened, but it felt like something did. This probably happens to a lot of girls my age, but it doesn’t make it right.
God, I’m so stupid! I should’ve known it was too good to be true. He was only after one thing.
Why didn’t I see it? This stupid dress didn’t help! Fuck, why did I agree to this? I should’ve stayed home watching Sons of Anarchy, but no! I had to go to a club with a bunch of NFL players!
They think they can play girls, coax them into bed with them. They think they can mention they play in the NFL and girls will drop their panties for them. Not me! I have higher standards than that!
It seemed like the girls who were there tonight would do anything to sleep with those guys. They looked like they were ready to get down and party right then and there with half of them. Walking around the club sober, you tend to pick up on these things.
This was supposed to be a night of fun, a night to help me forget about Drew. To help me go numb so I can’t feel the hurt anymore. But I still feel it, not just with Drew but now with Travis.
His eyes held a distant look, as if he wasn’t entirely present. It was as if he was out of his mind, and the image of his gaze, predatory and intense, was seared into my memory.
The sound of a key fumbling in the door broke my reverie. The door swung open and I quickly rose from the floor where I’d been sitting, hastily wiping away my tears. I squinted, trying to focus my tired, blurry vision on the figure in the doorway.
“Knox? What a-are y-you doing h-here?” I stammered, trying to regain my composure. I hadn’t expected anyone to follow me, to come find me. I’d planned to cry my eyes out, alone.
He rushed over to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. He pulled out his phone and dialed Kyle’s number.
“Hey, I have her! Yeah... she’s with me... No, no, you guys stay out... Yeah, it’s fine... I’ll stay with her, man!... Yeah, yeah... no, it’s fine, seriously, Kyle, go have fun with Andy! I’ll see you back here... yeah, alright, I will... yeah, bye, man!” He ended the call and tossed his phone over my shoulder onto the counter behind me.
He wrapped his arms around me again, allowing me to cry into his chest. God, I’m ruining his t-shirt.
“It’s alright, baby doll, I have more of them in my room,” he laughed. I balled my fists in his shirt, the urge to hit something—or someone—overwhelming me. Why is my life filled with so much drama right now?
I pulled back to look up at him. He cupped my cheeks, his gaze intense. His eyes were glassy from the drinks he’d had tonight, his pupils dilated and focused solely on me.
“What happened, baby doll? Why are you crying? Why did you leave without telling us? Or texting us?”
I reached into his jean pocket, dangerously close to his lower region, and his eyes widened at my touch.
“Baby doll, what are you doing?” he asked cautiously. I pulled my phone from his pocket and waved it in his face. Realization dawned on him—he’d had my phone the whole time.
“You had my phone, so I couldn’t text you. I just wanted to leave. I didn’t feel like staying there.
Sorry if I cock blocked you tonight... I was going to message Andy from my laptop to tell her I left,” I lied. His eyes scannedmy face, and then he noticed it—the love bite on my neck. Shit, shit, shit!
I slapped my hand over it in a futile attempt to hide it, but it was too late. A deep furrow formed on his brow as he frowned.
“Is this why you’re crying, Alex?” he asked, gently removing my hand from my neck and running his thumb over the forming bruise. His touch was hot, sending shivers down my spine. It was so gentle, his hands rough from years of playing football.
“Alex?!” he asked again, snapping me out of my thoughts. The fact that he used my name instead of ‘baby doll’ showed me how serious he was about this.
I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut as the memories flooded back.
“Who did this to you, Alex? Open your eyes! Look at me and tell me who did this to you? I will make them regret it!” His demand was stern, but I felt safe with him.
I met his pleading gaze and responded, “The guy you sent here to give me tickets.” My voice was cold, filled with disgust at his actions tonight.
The realization of what I’d just said hit him hard.
“Travis? He did this? I’m lit—”
“Stop, please! I don’t want to hear his name. I can’t. It’s not worth it, Knox. Really. I just want to go to sleep,” I pleaded with him, but I knew better than to believe he’d let this slide.
