Page 217 of The Perfect Spiral
A shaky “Okay” from my mom is the only response. My body istrembling, as if it’s about to give up on me.
Kyle carries me up the stairs and into my room, laying me down on the bed. I continue to cry into my pillow, my tears soaking the fabric.
Kyle, taller and more muscular than me, lies down next to me. His tears are quieter, but no less painful. He cradles me in his arms, hushing me until my sobs subside.
Exhaustion finally claims me, and I fall into a deep sleep. “Is she alright?” I hear his voice, but I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep.
I sit up, panic coursing through me. I scramble back against the headboard, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. Kyle notices my distress and rushes over to the bed, cupping my face in his hands.
“Alex, it’s just the fireworks. You’re safe, look at me! It’s okay! It’s just me,” his gentle voice coaxes me back to reality, and I hear the fireworks outside my window. Suddenly, I remember it’s the Fourth of July.
I take deep, shuddering breaths to calm myself down until my heart rate is back to normal. I stare into his eyes, watching him breathe with me, helping me to regain my composure.
It works. He kisses my forehead and sits on the bed with me.
“Is this real?” I finally ask, unsure if I’m dreaming. It feels real, but all my nightmares felt real too. Everything is muddled up into one.
Kyle pinches me on my arm, “Ow! What was that for?” I smack him on the arm, making him laugh.
“Isn’t that the saying? Pinch me, is it real?” He asks seriously, and I give him a deadpan look. Is he actually kidding me? I slap him again on the arm.
“Ow! What was that for?” He mimics me, rubbing his arm and scrunching up his face at me.
“It’s pinch me I’m dreaming, dipshit,” I roll my eyes. Hearing his laugh over by the door, I jump a little, remembering he’s still here.
“Did I just get my sister back?” He grins, and I can’t hide my own smile. I purse my lips to stop a laugh from escaping at how ridiculous he looks.
So he pushes me back on the bed and dives on top of me, hugging me. More like squeezing the life out of me. I hear him laugh loudly in my ear as I slap his back to get him off me.
“Kyle, you’re such a fatty, get off me!” I push breathlessly, making him laugh even more. Eventually, he rolls off me onto my bed. I lay there, breathing in sweet oxygen.
“Food is ready downstairs, I’m hungry. Do you want to go down or should I bring you food?”
“I’ll go down in a minute, I just need to wake up a bit more. Save me some food,” he nods and stands up to leave, kissing my head. I hear him slap Knox’s body.
I stand up and look out my window at the colors exploding against the black sky. I walk around and see him standing at my door. I thought he left with Kyle.
I look down to the ground, not wanting to make any eye contact with him, and he asks me.
“Are you alright?” But I stay silent and ignore him. I walk towards my door and try to slip by him without an answer, but I feel him take my wrist in his hand. I feel the burn of his touch.
My heart is hammering against my chest and the tingles spreading through my entire body. My body is betraying me. Why am I feeling like this towards him? I can’t feel like this again.
“Please look at me,” he pleads, but I can’t look at him. I can’t look into those blue eyes. I’ll break down again. I can’t afford to show him how he affected me.
“Alex,” he steps closer to me, his voice so soft I almost did look up at him. I fought the urge to look up by shutting my eyes closed.
“Please, baby doll, look at me,” I say my first few words since seeing him that day.
“I can’t,” I whisper out, taking my wrist out of his hand, brushing his skin, and walking away. I walk down the stairs, leaving him behind. I can’t look at him.
I need to be strong and resist him. No matter how hard it’s going to be, I can’t set myself up for that again.
I’m going to stick with my career goals and multiply them by one hundred so I have no time for guys.
I enter the kitchen and see Kyle piling food onto his plate. Looking further down the line, I see Andy next to him, gawking at the amount of food he’s putting on his plate, and Hannah next to her, laughing at her reaction.
I walk over to them and they turn around, setting their plates down. I throw my arms around them and hug them both. They start to weep, hearing sniffles from both of them.
