Page 98 of The Perfect Spiral
I opened my eyes and removed my hands to stare at my momwho was kneeling in front of me with tears running down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot, visibly shaken by my outburst.
“I’m sorry... Mom. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I hiccuped out. She scooted closer to me and wrapped herself around me. Hushing me, she kissed the side of my head and told me it was going to be alright.
I swallowed hard while the tears continued to roll.
“It felt so real,” I said quietly.
“His voice, the noises, his breathing, even the way he looked—it was all the same as that night,” I stared blankly into the distance. “Everything was the exact same.”
I stayed quiet for I don’t know how long. You could hear a pin drop. It was so quiet in the foyer.
“It’s times like these where I wish he just did it.”
“What, sweetie?” My mom pulled back to look me in the eyes. Her hand was stroking my puffy cheek, trying to wipe away the tears.
“Finished the job,” I choked out after a few seconds of thinking about that night. Looking down at my hands, I felt so embarrassed.
“Alex, you listen to me, and you listen to me real good! I don’t want to hear you say that again, baby. You’re mine, I couldn’t live with myself if you weren’t around.
You’re my baby, I can’t imagine you not in my life. I love you so much. You are my life, all of you are. But I knew you were special since the day you were born.
I’m so proud of you, sweetie, every single day of my life I will be proud of you. I love you more than anything. Words cannot express my love for you, all of you. You’re my baby, please don’t think like that anymore.
It breaks my heart when you do, baby.” She pulled me into a tight hug where we both silently cried on each other’s shoulders.
I saw Kyle behind my mom, cradling Andy who was visibly shaken by this entire thing. I whispered over to her, “I’m sorry, doll,” as she continued to cry on Kyle. I was such a bad friend for letting her see this.
I sat back on my heels for a while and just stared up at the blank wall in the foyer, replaying it all over in my head. It was all so vivid and real. I could’ve sworn it was real.
I felt eyes on me and I turned to my right to see Knox sitting there on his knees with a look of disbelief on his face. His hand was covering his closed mouth, a look of sadness in his eyes when I looked into them.
I started to cry again and he moved closer to me, wiping a fallen tear off my cheek. His touch was soothing and I leaned into it.
Looking down at the ground, I felt ashamed that I had caused this. I had caused these people to look at me in fear and in sadness.
“I’m sorry,” I spoke to the floor.
“I’m sorry I caused so much panic. I just... I thought he was here. I got scared. I’m sorry.” Feeling Knox pull me into his bare chest, I cried on him for what felt like forever.
He didn’t complain once, he just sat there cradling my small frame in his large arms.
“Don’t apologize for anything, Alex,” he whispered, and I pulled back and turned around to Wes, Brett, and Tyler.
I went to hug them all at once but Brett stopped me and said, “If Knox gets his own hug, I want my own hug from you too, Alex,” with a smirk on his face.
The other two nodded their heads to say they wanted an individual hug too. I laughed through the tears and gave them their hugs while telling them I was sorry. I stood up and went to Andy and Kyle.
I sat down and she was staring at me with dried-up tears on her face. She grabbed me instantly and hugged me, and we both fell on the floor hugging each other side by side.
“I’m sorry, Andy, it wasn’t fair for you to have seen that,”
“Don’t apologize, sweetheart. I’m here for you, no matter what... But at least now I know you’re human,” we share a laugh, and Kyle gently lays on top of us, careful not to crush us.
“My two favorite girls,” he murmurs, a soft smile lighting up his face. I reach up to him, apologizing for the scare I gave him.
He shakes his head, his voice firm. “I love you no matter what, Sis. But please, don’t ever let those thoughts consume you again. I can’t bear to hear those words from you. And if this happens again, call me. I’ll be there for you in a heartbeat.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.
“Awww, Kyle, that was so sweet,” Andy coos, and they start to kiss each other. I try to roll away from them, a playful grimace on my face.
