Page 76 of The Perfect Spiral
But it’s not working. That kiss... was something else. Something I can’t put into words.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry I’ve put you through this. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll respect your decision. I’ll be here for you when you’re ready, if you’re ready. But for what it’s worth, I enjoy being around you, especially these past few weeks. I’ve always enjoyed your company, even when we were at each other’s throats... Call me if you need anything, baby doll... And I’m not sorry for what happened yesterday. I’m sorry you think it was a mistake. Because to me... it wasn’t.”
He opens my door and everyone is crowded around, trying to act nonchalant. I know they were eavesdropping. My family has always been, and will always be, nosy. He leaves my room without a second glance back at me.
My heart sinks. I hate this feeling, but it had to be done, right?
I run my hand up the side of my face, resting it under my jaw. I stare out my doorway to see the boys looking down the hallway and Sam and Hannah looking at me, their faces full of questions.
The boys follow Knox, except for Kyle. He starts to pick up all the sleeping bags and pillows scattered on the floor.
I lie back onto my bed and feel two bodies on either side of me, causing the bed to dip slightly.
“What did you say?” Sam finally asks after a minute of silence.
Staring up at my blank ceiling, I reply simply, “We need to distance ourselves.” They understand what I mean. We don’t discuss it further. They get it.
The day carries on without anyone bringing it up. It seemseveryone knew about it.
My mom tries to discuss it with me a few times when we’re alone, but I shut her down, explaining it’s between me and Knox.
She drops it, but gives me a look that says, Please rethink your decision. But it’s done.
Did I feel like shit? Yes.
But I’m tired of people approaching me, wanting information about me or him. Hearing the same questions, enduring the stares, the fake smiles from girls trying to get me to set them up with him. Watching them flirt with him. I’m not jealous, I’m just tired of the same shit, different day.
Christmas morning arrives and I’m woken by two little rugrats jumping on me, screaming ‘Santa came!’ repeatedly.
Hearing loud footsteps running past my doorway down the stairs, the two leave my room quickly, leaving me alone in the peace and quiet of my room.
“Alex, sweetie, are you coming down to open your presents?” my mom calls out. Groaning, I push myself up out of bed, not yet opening my eyes.
I’m really not in the mood for Christmas this year. I usually love Christmas, but this year it’s going downhill fast and ending on a sour note. She pulls me close and kisses my head.
“Merry Christmas, Alex,” she whispers.
“Merry Christmas, Mom,” I respond, my voice flat. I drag my feet along the carpet down the hallway, reaching the living room where my entire family is gathered.
Feeling Boomer at my feet, I pick him up and sit down on the couch with him on my lap. He settles down and I stroke his fluffy fur.
Watching everyone open their presents, I slowly wake up anddecide to open mine, wanting to share in their joy. I want to be happy too.
My family’s gifts of clothes, shoes, surfing gear, and a GoPro brought a smile to my face. I’ve always been more of a gift giver than a receiver, though. There’s something about watching the surprise and joy on someone’s face as they unwrap a present that I find more thrilling than opening my own.
“Alex, these are yours too,” Sam said, gesturing towards two remaining gifts under the tree. I approached them, curiosity piqued. Crouching down, I took in their size and shape.
I decided to tackle the larger one first, already having a hunch about what it might be. As I tore off the wrapping paper, my suspicions were confirmed. It was the latest Roxy surfboard, adorned with various shades of seafoam green and a Hawaiian design. My name, ‘Alex’, was inscribed on the underside in a vibrant blue.
The fins were a pristine white, and the top of the board was sleek and pointed. It was perfect. More than perfect, it was a reflection of me, my personality captured on a board. My favorite colors and design covered every inch of it.
I ran my hand along the glossy surface, still in disbelief that it was sitting right in front of me. I was speechless.
“Sweet board!” Kyle’s voice broke through my reverie. I grinned at him, still in awe.
“It’s perfect. I’m speechless. Thanks, Mom!” I turned to face her, only to be met with a confused expression. She exchanged a baffled look with Eric.
“As much as we’d like to take credit for getting you that sweetheart, we... uh didn’t?”
