Page 228 of Steeling Her
To either forgive, or to compromise.
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Carter
Ding dong.
The dreaded noise of the door chime lets me know that there is someone there to see me.
I put down the paintbrush that was in my grip and rise up from the chair. I’ve decided to take up a new hobby. I was never that good at it, but I do enjoy the calmness it provides to me. There was always something about painting that makes me calm. I think it’ss because I got to really focus on something else and not what is happening around me. It’s an escape.
I wipe any paint residue on my apron before reaching for the door before it calls out for me again. I don’t want to clean up a big mess that I know I’ve left behind me.
I swing open the door and see two big beef bodies standing in front of me. “What did you do?” I ask both of my brothers in a monotone voice. Every time they both show up together and unannounced, I immediately jump to the conclusion that they’ve both done something stupid and are looking for me to help them get out of it. It was always that way when we were younger. Austin was the prankster, Chris was the dumb one, and I was the reasonable one, and I was reasonable enough to not get involved in any of their antics growing up.
“Nothing,” they respond simultaneously, making me suspicious.
“Then what?” I squint, wondering why they’re here and what they’re up to. They hesitate and look at one another to see who is going to start the conversation they so clearly want to have. “Guys!” I snap them out of it and they revert their gaze back to me. I’m getting more and more impatient. I’ve noticed that about me these days, my patience is getting shorter minute by minute; I was never like that.
“Talk—we’d like to talk with you.” They surprise me with a serious tone. Chris stares at me with wide eyes while Austin takes pity on me.
“Did something happen?” I ask them.
“No, everything is fine. Everyone is cool,” Austin assures me, raising his hands up and pressing them on my head for additional comfort. He reaches for my apron and begins to remove it. “We want you to come with us. We just want to go for a walk on the beach and would like it if you joined?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. “Taylor is in the car waiting for you to come with us.” He pauses and points to Chris’s car. I would be able to see her inside if it weren’t for the blacked-out windows. “Come on, I leave for New York tonight. It’s the least you can do,” he says as he begins to drag me out of my safe haven, my comfort blanket. However, I know I should say my goodbyes to him. It will be another while before I get the chance to see him again.
I’m just in a funk today, like the past few days.
I love how close my family all are, but sometimes, I’d like my own space to allow me to think—to breathe.
I mentally groan at the thought of another talk people want to have. I can only imagine what it’ll be about. It’s nobody’s business but mine.
“Please,” Chris begs like he’s never done before. That makes me wonder what these two have to say to me. I know that I shut myself out, and maybe they’re worried about that? But I needed it. I needed clarity and time to think without opinions. I needed my space, that’s all I wanted. “For the sake of the sunset,” he whines dramatically, making me smile and roll my eyes.
“Fine,” I mumble and throw in the towel. I need to get out of this funk, maybe this might do the trick?
I follow my two older brothers and lock the door behind me as we make our way towards the car with my niece. As I near it, I can see the silhouette of her little face pressed up against the glass, making me chuckle.Just like her dad,I think to myself. I even look at Chris to see him grinning at his little girl through the window.
I walk around to the other side of the car and the door opens up to allow me inside. I get a sweet little hug from Taylor. I’m greeted with open arms as I slide across the seats to get close to her in her car seat.
“Hi, Aunt Carter!” she squeals and I giggle again once I have her in my arms.
“Hi, sweetheart!” I squeeze her and then buckle myself in.
“Everyone ready to go?” Chris asks and we all agree that it’s time to head off to watch the sunset.
The drive took about thirty minutes. I allowed Chris to take his daughter out of the car seat. Even though he was struggling, I left him to it. He has taken her out of the seat many times and yet he still struggles to get the knack of it.
“I swear, that car seat hates me,” he mutters as he hunches over to hold Taylor’s hand, a floral yellow and pink bucket is held in the other. The sight is heart warming; a big macho man who dotes over his daughter walking on the beach with family. It would send an icy heart to melt. “You want to go and collect some shells to bring home to Mommy?” he asks her. He couldn’t even finish the sentence because she races off to find some to collect after yanking the bucket out of her father’s grip.
“You know, she would make an awesome football player,” Austin jokes as he watches her sprint down to the shoreline where a few kids are building sandcastles. As the night is falling closer and closer, the day has gotten cooler than it had been earlier. Some kids were wrapped in towels to keep them warm with their parent’s arms wrapped around them or rubbing them for heat. Some have even fallen asleep in their arms after the tiring day they’ve had at the beach. I’m sure the sun has taken much of their energy away from them as well as their fun.
“I’m telling you, I’m getting her to do all the sports I can possibly get her to do. She has form!” Chris points to his child, not giving up until she gets to the finish line. I shake my head as I listen to my two idiot brothers. “I mean, look at those little legs go.” He chuckles along with me. “Right, Cooks?” He peers down at me with playfulness dancing in his eyes.
“She takes after your little legs,” I tease him with a shoulder nudge.
He feigns being hurt by putting his hand over his heart and acting like he’s just been shot. “Ohhh, that hurt!” He couldn’t keep a straight face for long as we continue walking along the beach and keeping an eye on Taylor, who avidly collects her shells and ignores anyone who gets in her way.
It was silent, something that I’ve become used to, something that I’ve enjoyed for the past while. I didn’t expect myself to miss it.
