Page 220 of Steeling Her
I’m about to open my mouth but I feel his lips rest on the crown of my head. It’s a delicate kiss. Both of his hands reach up and rest themselves on my shoulders.
“I’m sorry that I made you feel like that. You are enough, Carter. You’re more than enough. You’re everything I could have hoped for and am still hoping for. There is nothing, nor was there ever anything wrong with you. Your are perfect, just the way you are.” I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling when he first spoke. I just missed his voice and the way he said my name. I miss everything about him; the way he holds me, the way he speaks to me, and how protective he’s been the past while.
But the one thing that keeps reminding me is that he had made his choice five years ago, and he’s only now telling me all of this.
I turn around and face him once more to see the rugged man that I fell so deeply in love with five years ago. I gaze upon his sturdy features once more as his eyes search in mine. I lift myself up on my toes and kiss his cheek. I know I look like a wreck, but I need to sleep all of this new information off tonight and absorb everything soon.
“Goodnight, Nick,” I whisper and walk around him to grab my bag. As I walk towards the door and get ready to open it, his voice makes another appearance.
“If I could go back in time, I would change it all. I would find you sooner, keep you forever, and love you harder.” I press my lips together and run out of the room and down the hallway. I quicken my pace as I see the door in my sights.
“Carter!” Haley calls for me and rushes down the large stairway in her pajama shorts and TJ rushes out of the room that was beside the one me and Nick were in.
“No, it’s fine. Haley, I’m fine. I just need to go home.” I wave at her as she ignores my plea and continues to rush down the stairs.
“No, no, let me drive you—”
“You’re over the limit. I can grab a cab—”
“No, TJ, babe, drive her back. Please.” Haley brushes it off after seeing the state I’m in. I probably look worse than I’m actually feeling. I feel better, lighter, and freer.
“On it.” TJ grabs his keys and guides me out of the house.
“Thank you,” I say with bleary eyes as I rush to his car. I open the passenger door and see Haley standing in the doorframe. I flick my attention to the room I was in and stare at the window, hoping he can see me and that I can see him. Unfortunately, I can’t see anything, and my heart begins to beat faster again in the hopes that I could.
My heart wants him.
It always has.
***
Haley
I shut the door when I see the gates close after the car leaves. I amble down to the room where Nick is, listening to the padding of my feet meeting the cold tiles.
I knock on the door. I don’t hear a response. So, I push it open.
“Nick?” I call into the dim lighting.
I hear him sniffle and wipe his eyes, looking away from me. My brother has only ever cried one other time in his life, and that was at our grandfather’s funeral. “Nick?” I ask again more delicately.
“Yeah?” he replies, laughing slightly to cover up the fact that he’s upset. I know my brother, he can’t fool me.
“You okay?” I ask as I step further into the room.
“I’m fine.” He grunts while acting like a typical guy right now, ashamed to admit how upset he is. He tries to hide it by laughing once again.
“Nick, it’s alright to not be happy,” I say softly as I sit next to him on the sofa.
He stares at me. I can see the wet residue on his cheeks. “No, honestly, I’m okay. I feel much better. I just didn’t know how much I had bottled up. To be able to finally tell her how I actually felt is just what I needed. I feel much lighter.” He smiles at me and pats my leg. Seeing him this happy makes me so happy. I haven’t seen him smile like that in a while. A true and genuine smile that he used to wear had disappeared over the years and now, I can see the happiness shining through again.
“My one worry is that I hope I did enough,” he continues.
That confuses me. “What do you mean?” I ask just as he stands up on his feet. He nudges his head to tell me to stand up.
“To win her back. I hope she knows that I still love her.” He smiles at me when he lifts me back up to my feet. I smile up at my big brother.
“Or to Steel her back, get it?” I wink and laugh at my own joke while Nick just rolls his eyes. I still got a smile out of him.
