Page 81 of Steeling Her
And I lost it.
Chapter Eighteen
It All Comes Out Now
Carter
I hear the trolley being wheeled in which wakes me up. It’s early; nobody comes to see me this early in the morning. “Wakey, wakey, sweetheart.” The sweet old lady who comes in to give me my food daily always wakes me up with a smile on her face. She’s such a kind soul. She would sometimes come in to visit me to have a chat because she thinks I’m lonely.
“Morning, Mrs. Lauretta,” I greet her as I sit up in the bed. My body aches so much every time I move. She slides the tray over to me with the table underneath it for support. She walks over to the window and opens up the curtains.
“Good morning to you too, sweetie. It’s a beautiful day out there, huh? Do you hear the birds?” She turns back to face me with the biggest grin on her face. She’s always smiling. I love people who are like that. “What beautiful flowers you have, Miss Steel,” she says as she sniffs them.
I smile. “Nick always gets me flowers every time he visits me.” I grin at the thought of him. I couldn’t stop smiling yesterday. He looked so sexy when he came into my room, flowers in hand. I blushed immediately. He was so sweet.
“Is that the cute blond boy I see everyday?” I nod back at her instantly. “You’re a lucky girl, you are.” She winks and wheels the trolley out with a goodbye, continuing on to give the rest of the hallway their food.
Scrambled eggs and bacon bits with a fruit cup on the side and orange juice. It smells good for hospital food. My mouth is watering. But I lean over to grab hold of my phone so I can text my mom. I spoon some eggs into my mouth and click on the home button to see I got a message from Ryan.
I open the message and see a picture. My heart stops beating at the sight of Nick underneath Maya and looking at the camera as if he’s been caught. The eggs drops out of my mouth and back onto the plate. The position they’re in makes my heart crack.
I’m just staring at the picture. My body goes numb, and I feel faint.Was he using me like all the others too?I’m starting to shake, and I feel the tears form in my eyes. Next, I hear footsteps racing outside of my door, getting louder and louder.. The door slams open, and I see a red and sweaty Nick run into the room and stand in front of me.
“It’s not what it looks like!” He rests his hand out in front of him, gathering his breath.
“Don’t,” I choke out. His eyes widen and he starts to shake his head as comes around the bed to get to me. I’m clutching the phone in my hand with all I’ve got. The screen is black now, but I can still visualize the photo.
“No, no, no. Please, don’t do this, Carter!” He clutches the phone and tries to pull it away from my hands. I loosen my grip, The phone slips out and he puts it on the table.
“How could you, Nick?” My voice wobbles at the image.
“Carter, you’ve got to believe me! I was set up by Maya and Ryan! Please believe me!” he begs to me, but I push him away, not wanting to feel her germs to transfer to me. “Carter, please!” he pleads and I feel my heart shatter into tiny pieces, allowing my stomach to digest them.This cannot be happening.
“You’re just like the rest of them. As soon as we kiss, my dad will like you and you’ll get your wish; to become the next big thing in football!” I cry out and watch his face drop, his hunter-green eyes glazing over at my harsh words. Why does this keep happening to me?
“It’s not like that, Carter! Please, just hear me out. It looks bad, I know it does, but Maya jumped me—”
“Just stop!” I yell louder and cover my ears, not wanting to hear it. I can’t. I’m already upset, and I feel even worse. I cry hard, so hard that I’m hiccuping right now. “Please leave . . .” I ask him quietly.
“What? No! I’m not leaving, Carter. Listen to me!” he pleads.
“Just leave, Nick . . .” I’m begging him to leave me alone. I want to be by myself and cry. I don’t want people around me. I don’t need anyone around me.
Shock is what is on his face. He stands up and runs a hand through his hair. I notice the cuts and bruises on his knuckles. I don’t want to know, I just want him to leave. He walks around the bed to walk back out the door, stopping at the foot of my bed.
“I’m not like those guys, Carter. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ll say that. I’ll be here when you want to talk. Please believe me.” Leaving on that note, I see his eyes are blood shot.
I call the nurse in as soon as he leaves the door. “Miss Steel, is everything okay?” she asks, and I gulp down the lump in my throat that’s threatening to spill out.
“I need you to not let anyone visit me today. I want to sleep, I don’t want any visitors; not my family, nor my friends.” She nods and takes the food away from me. I feel sick. I just want to be alone in this room. I don’t want anyone around me, and the nurse leaves it at that.
I did some assignments in the morning and slept for the rest of the day. The same with the next day, and the next, and so on until the the day before I was getting out. I’ve only spoken to my mom, but I haven’t filled her in on what happened. I’m beginning to feel guilty for snapping at him like that.Maybe I should’ve listened to his explanation? Maybe he deserved that chance?
But the picture that was sent to me doesn’t look good. I couldn’t look at it any longer, so I decided to delete it from my phone. Every time I did look at it, I would feel a wave of nausea wash over me and I would heave and heave until something actually left my system.
Tonight is their away game. The urge to watch it gets stronger as the minutes tick by. The room is filled with sounds from the machines I’ve been hooked up to, and the plain yellow walls caging me in looks dreary. The weather is overcast today as I’m looking out the window; gray, like my mood has been for the last few days.
Ryan has dropped in a few times, waiting for me, but I told the nurse to tell him I was sleeping. Nick has come in every day too—with TJ, Haley and Danielle—but I’ve refused to see them too.
